WWF: RAW IS WAR
December 14, 1998
Tacoma, WA
Tacoma Dome

The current WWF champs are as follows:
WWF Champion: The Rock (11/15/1998)
Intercontinental Champion: Ken Shamrock (10/12/1998)
World Tag Team Champions: The New Age Outlaws (8/30/1998)
European Champion: X-Pac (10/18/1998)
Light Heavyweight Champion: Duane Gill (11/23/1998)
Hardcore Champion: The Big Boss Man (11/30/1998)
Women’s Champion: Sable (11/15/1998)

We get some EXCITING still shots (courtesy of WWF Magazine) from last night’s Rock Bottom: In Your House PPV. The Rock retains the WWF title against Mankind while Steve Austin defeats the Undertaker in the “buried alive” match.

TIME TO GET RAW! Your hosts are Michael Cole and Jerry Lawler.

We’ve come up to a major edit on the Peacock streaming service that makes the main event of this episode seem random and out of place. I guess Jason Sensation as “HB-GAY” was more than the folks at NBC thought people could handle. This episode of RAW originally opens with D-Generation X doing a parody of the Corporation. If you really want to see this parody, here it is in original VHS quality:

Once they are done, Commissioner Shawn Michaels comes out with the Big Boss Man and the Rock. Michaels then makes two matches for DX against the Corporation for tonight. After Triple H reminds the Rock how before he became the WWF champion, Helmsley was kicking the Rock’s ass all over the place. Rock reminds Helmsley that Chyna hit him in the nuts and that’s the only reason he lost. He then runs through the catchphrases of WCW’s biggest stars to set up the Most Electrifying Line in Sports Entertainment Today – IF YA SMELL WHAT THE ROCK IS COOKIN’.

A camera spies in on the pep rally happening in the Corporation locker room. Vince says the Corporation will take care of D-X and Kane tonight. Plus, Vince has a few surprises up his sleeve that is sure to delight.

• Val Venis & The Godfather (w/some ladies) vs. Edge & Christian (w/Gangrel)

Val and Godfather spout off their puns and catchphrases. Edge gets a fiery start against Val, but Venis slows him down with a spinebuster. Tag to Godfather, he hits Edge with what we’ll know as the Ho Train. Switching gears, Val gives Christian a Russian legsweep and tags in Godfather. He nails Christian with a Hook Kick for two. Cole refers to Godfather as a “martial arts expert”. There’s something ridiculous about that statement. Gangrel tries to interfere, but Val knocks him off the apron and gives Christian the Fisherman’s Suplex for the win. (2:37) So disturbed that his Brood just lost to a pimp and a porn star, Gangrel declares there will be a “blood bath” tonight. ½*

The camera looks backstage at a huge lottery ball tumbler that will determine Stone Cold Steve Austin’s spot within the ROYAL RUMBLE.

When we come back, Kevin Kelly talks to Steve Blackman about the Blue Blazer versus Goldust match next. Blackman says he will prove tonight that the Blue Blazer is Owen Hart.

• Goldust vs. Blue Blazer

Cole and Lawler discuss Goldust’s victory last night at Rock Bottom over Jeff Jarrett and Debra’s post-match stripping of the clothes. It’s weird hearing Cole TRYING to get excited over Debra. Blazer does a bunch of Owen Hart moves to start. Goldust comes back with the lay down uppercut and throws away a back suplex for two. He delivers the CURTAIN CALL (which now seems to be a set up move now?) and asks the crowd if they want to see Shattered Dreams. Goldust puts Blazer in the corner, but down comes JEFF JARRETT for the DQ. (2:11) He knocks Goldust out of the ring, but here comes STEVE BLACKMAN. Goldust manages to grab Jarrett to beat on him on the floor. Meanwhile, Blackman nails Blazer with the Jumping Kick and unmasks the Blue Blazer to reveal OWEN HART. As Blackman runs off with the mask, Owen is left with Jarrett’s t-shirt hanging over his face. Cole gives Lawler the “i told you so” routine while Lawler acts like he had no idea. ½*

They cut to Mark Henry back in the locker room who looks to be feeling real good about himself while he’s referred to by Cole and Lawler as “SEXUAL CHOCOLATE”. The infamous Barry White-inspired music debuts here.

After the break, D-Generation X is shown arguing with the Corporation while refs and agents are trying to break it up.

• Mark Henry & D’Lo Brown (w/Jacqueline & Terri) vs. Bob Holly & Scorpio (w/Al Snow, Duane Gill & the Blue Meanie)

It’s sexual, baby. Mark lets everybody know he’s a lover and not a fighter. He’s not here to fight tonight, but he does want to tell us all a bedtime story. He wants to tell us the details of his and Chyna’s date. I can’t tell if D’Lo really wants to hear any of this. When Chyna told Mark to slip into something more comfortable, she was talking about her bed. HI-YOO. Mark continues to say that while he’s a MACHINE in the gym, Chyna wore him out. Lawler throws in a laugh and a “I love sports entertainment!” line.

Holly and Scorpio don’t want to hear any more of this and BUM RUSH THE SHOW. D’Lo and Holly go back and forth. Scorpio tags in and superkicks D’Lo down. Tag to Henry, Scorpio fights out of the corner and hits a cross body block. Cole and Lawler mention Mick Foley as being #2 “Man of the Year” on Time Magazine’s website back when people didn’t understand spamming. Scorpio comes off the ropes again only to get pressed into the air and eats a leg drop from Henry. D’Lo tags in and delivers the Lo Down for two. Time for the Sky High, but Scorpio moves out of the way. Once Holly gets the tag, Blue Meanie and Duane Gill are shown flirting with Terri Runnels. The match breaks down and while ref Tim White is distracted, Jacqueline hits Holly with a missile dropkick into a POWERSLAM by Henry for the win. (3:00) Man, Terri does not seem like she’s happy to be in the corner of D’Lo and Sexual Chocolate. ¾*

SLAM OF THE WEEK (brought to you by WWF War Zone for N64 by Acclaim Sports): SuNDAY NiGHT HeAT, 12/13/98. Mankind attacks the Rock with the Corporate rhododendron.

• WWF World Tag Team Championship: The New Age Outlaws (c) vs. The Big Boss Man & Ken Shamrock (w/Commissioner Shawn Michaels)

Gunn dares Boss Man to keep coming at him with running shoulderblocks until Billy sets him up with a dropkick. Road Dogg tags in, but gets whipped hard into the corner to turn the tide. Boss Man misses a corner charge allowing Gunn to tag back into the match. Boss Man tries to post Gunn’s balls, but Gunn pulls Boss Man into the post instead. Here comes Ken Shamrock to whack Billy’s knee with a chair up against the post. Umm, DQ? Shamrock tags in and pulls down Gunn’s knee pad and goes to town.  Tag to Boss Man, Gunn does the bit where he collapses going from corner to corner selling the knee. Shamrock takes over and tries the Hurracanrana, but Gunn counters with a desperate powerbomb. Hot tag to Road Dogg, he runs wild on Shamrock and Boss Man. As he comes off the ropes though, Shawn Michaels whacks him with a chair to the back into a BOSS MAN SLAM. Cover, 1-2-NO! Road Dogg low blows Boss Man and ref Earl Hebner lets it ride. Gunn gets tagged in, but he’s hobbling on one leg. As he goes to finish off Shamrock, Shawn Michaels gets up on the ropes talking smack. Gunn grabs Shawn and then walks away from him. Shawn then hits Gunn with the Boss Man’s night stick into the ANKLE LOCK from Shamrock. Gunn is OUT COLD. The arm drops once, twice, and three times to give the Corporation the WWF world tag titles. (6:46) This is what we should have saw at the PPV – the year-long stranglehold on the WWF tag belts by the Outlaws finally comes to an end. Vince’s Three Stooges (yes, Sgt. Slaughter even!) stand tall celebrating at the top of the ramp. **

ENTER THE WAR ZONE! Your hosts are Michael Cole and Jerry Lawler.

Vince and Shane McMahon head down to the ring to decide when Stone Cold Steve Austin will enter the Royal Rumble match. Vince recalls last night’s events and vows revenge on Mankind and Kane for what they have done by making a “No Holds Barred” match for later tonight between them. Alright, now for Steve Austin’s Royal Rumble entry number. Vince reaches into the Corporate tumbler and pulls out #1 for Steve Austin. HOW CONVENIENT. Shane wants to try again and hopefully draw Austin a better number since it’s Christmas and all. Despite Vince’s concerned looks, Shane draws #1 AGAIN for Austin. Boy, how lucky are they! Vince puts a bounty out on Austin for the Rumble match stating whoever eliminates Austin in the Rumble will be $100,000 richer. The next announcement is name another participant who will enter the Royal Rumble. This individual is equal to Steve Austin’s skills. He’s the only individual who could save Ted Turner’s Dubya See Dubya, but he’s here making his wrestling debut in the WWF. Without further ado, the second announced participant to enter the 1999 Royal Rumble match: MR. VINCENT K. MCMAHON. You damn right. Shane pulls out a number from the tumbler and he gets #30. And with that, Vince plans to make sure there’s no chance in hell Steve Austin will never be WWF champion again.

Mankind interrupts on the screen and challenges Vince to a match. Unless Vince has a lack of testicular fortitude, Mankind will see him in the ring. Have a nice day!

WWF << REWIND (brought to you by Glover for N64 / PC): Rock Bottom – In Your House, 12/13/98. Debra takes off her clothes to show the goods!

Backstage, we catch Vince’s Three Stooges try to help Vince with a game plan for Mankind later tonight.

• “Guitar On A Pole” Match: Jeff Jarrett (w/Debra) vs. Steve Blackman

This is the first of these Vince Russo type matches: the “object” on a pole match. A guitar literally is just sitting on a platform at the top of a ten foot metal pole secured to a ringpost. During Russo’s run as head writer in the WWF, the “object” on a pole match wasn’t abused like in WCW in case you don’t remember. The match is really of no consequence until Debra gets involved. Last night has turned her into quite an exhibitionist. Her stripping allows Jarrett to grab the guitar and come off the top buckle, but Blackman sees it coming and nails Jarrett on the way down. Blackman swings and misses with the guitar. Ref Jimmy Korderas goes down. Out comes Owen Hart to KABONG Blackman with a second guitar. He helps Korderas back in the ring and Jarrett gets the win. (2:31) So Debra really didn’t help at all except offering up her boobies, but Owen gets his revenge for Blackman unmasking him. ¾*

Elsewhere, Tiger Ali Singh tattles to Pat Patterson and Gerald Brisco that someone has written “BLOODBATH” in red on the wall in his locker room. Patterson and Brisco don’t really care.

Meanwhile, Vince McMahon tells his son Shane that he’ll accept the match with Mankind, but he’ll do it his way.

After the break, the camera spots some Seattle Seahawks players in the front row. Man, the 1998 NFL season will always haunt me as a Vikings fan.

Over in the McMahon locker room, Vince starts taking off his shirt and Shane scares away the cameraman.

Tiger Ali Singh comes out for a match when the lights go out and the Brood surround him on the stage. Singh gets his ass beat and when the lights come back on, he’s laid out and covered in BLOOD.

We check in on Kane. He’s just walking back and forth in the dark.

• No Holds Barred: Mankind vs. Kane

Lots of slow brawling to start. Kane dumps out Mankind and takes him to the barricade. Mankind reverses a whip into the steps, but then Kane runs the top half of the stairs into Mankind’s face. Back in, Lawler tells us the metal steps weigh 150 pounds. HUH? More Kane brawling. Mankind comes back with a swinging neckbreaker and clotheslines Kane out of the ring. Vince McMahon walks out wearing a black sweatshirt and jeans. If Mankind wants a fight, he must meet Vince back out in the parking lot. When Mankind hears the instructions, he bails on his match with Kane and goes after Vince. (4:30 or so) N/R

When we come back, a group of orderlies is wheeling Kane into an ambulance on a gurney in a straightjacket. During the break, the Big Boss Man, Ken Shamrock, and the orderlies subdue Kane, who was standing in the middle of the ring waiting to get punked with a nightstick and slapped in an ANKLELOCK. The straightjacket was put on and it looks like it’s finally time for Kane to get committed.

We go out to the parking lot where Mankind is attacking Vince all by himself. He bounce McMahon off cyclone fencing when Pat Patterson and Gerald Brisco try to help, but get thrown into the steel door. Mr. Socko makes an appearance. McMahon almost gets one shot in before Mankind slaps on the MANDIBLE CLAW. Just as McMahon is shoved into the trunk of a Lincoln Town Car, THE ROCK appears and attacks Mankind. He and Mankind brawl onto the hood of the Lincoln where Rock delivers the ROCK BOTTOM ONTO THE HOOD! That’s just awesome.

After the break, they show Mankind taking a Rock Bottom on the Lincoln Town Car from moments ago.

• WWF Championship: The Rock (w/Commissioner Shawn Michaels) vs. Triple H (w/Chyna)

Rock makes Triple H pay for the parody with right hands to start. We are outta commercial breaks, folks! Triple H comes back and delivers the ten-count corner punch. Rock throws out Triple H for some ringside violence, but he ends up getting his head bounced off the steps. They brawl over to the announce table where Rock puts on the headset again. Lawler tries to grab a hold of Rock’s coattails, but Rock threatens to smack the crap out of him. Back inside, Triple H finds the High Knee. He hits the suplex and an elbow drop (instead of the knee drop) for a two-count. Rock delivers a swinging neckbreaker and a clothesline to come back. Triple H fights out of a chinlock only to get stuck with a DDT for 1-2-NO! Back to the chinlock. Triple H elbows out and chops back, but runs into a back elbow. Next up, the CORPORATE ELBOW connects. Rock covers for 1-2-NO! More chinlockage. Triple H breaks loose with a back suplex this time. He peppers the Rock with right hands and delivers another High Knee. Triple H stomps Rock down in the corner and then hits the Triple H Facebuster for two. Rock decides to fight another day only to get bounced off the steps again. As Triple H follows, Shawn Michaels grabs him by the tights to tell him what he thinks. Meanwhile, Chyna sneaks in and LOW BLOWS the Rock – a nod to SummerSlam when Triple H won the IC title. Triple H jumps in the ring and DDTs Rock for a solid nearfall. While ref Earl Hebner gets in between Shawn Michaels and Chyna, Triple H delivers the PEDIGREE to the Rock! Shawn gets away from Chyna and blasts Triple H with the WWF title. Rock turns over on top of Triple H for 1-2-NO! As Chyna goes after Michaels, the guy who did security for Motley Crue (we’ll know him best as TEST) interrupts the match and gives Triple H the PUMPHANDLE POWERSLAM. Rock covers Triple H and Hebner counts the pinfall. (10:51) Afterwards, the Rock celebrates with “the Motley Crue security guy” and Shawn Michaels. Wrestling is a crazy, wacky place. ***

That does it for this week. Until next time, so long for now.

THE WORLD WRESTLING FEDERATION PRESENTS: ROYAL RUMBLE – No Chance in Hell
LIVE on January 24 from the Arrowhead Pond in Anaheim, California! ONLY ON PPV!
MAIN EVENT: The Royal Rumble