Bigelow’s Raw Report 4/6/09
Monday Night Raw 4/6/09
Announcers: Michael Cole & Jerry Lawler
– We start the show off with a Wrestlemania recap in clip form before hitting our opening animation. We then head inside the Toyota Center for the first Raw after Wrestlemania. After Cole and Lawler welcome us to the show, we are immediately joined by Randy Orton. Orton’s face is quite bruised from the beatdown he received from Triple H last night. He grabs the mic and begins to speak. He doesn’t know what sickens him more, that Triple H used a sledgehammer to win last night or the fact that the fans enjoyed every second of it. He thinks it’s good that we have a moment of happiness in our otherwise miserable lives. The fact is that last night proved nothing. Triple H knows he cannot beat Orton on his own and Orton will get his rematch. The McMahon family, the company and all of the fans owe it to him. When he gets the rematch, he will beat Triple H and take his rightful place as WWE Champion. And may God help the McMahon family if they decide to get in his way again. The crowd seems to be chanting “RKO”. He bashed the old man and his son in the skull, he RKO’d and DDT’d Stephanie and he wants to know what is next. Maybe he attends a McMahon family outing as he hasn’t seen Linda in a while. He is sure she will be happy to see him. Maybe he should finally introduce himself to all the McMahon family grandchildren. And Orton has crossed the line…and the boss. No Chance in Hell fires up and Vince powerwalks to the ring. Orton quickly bails to the floor as Vince yells at him from the ring. Vince grabs the mic and is not pleased that Orton mentioned his grandchildren. Vince says if Orton wants a McMahon family member so bad, he is right here and will give Orton what he wants. He will not give Orton another Championship match. The crowd doesn’t like that one. Orton doesn’t deserve it for the hell he put the McMahons through. Orton will get some backlash in the form of a title wave. At Backlash, Orton will team up with DiBiase and Rhodes to battle Triple H, Shane and Vince. Orton says that Vince is just hiding behind Shane and Triple H because he is terrified of Orton. Vince says that Orton is terrified because his friends aren’t standing with him right now. Without Rhodes & DiBiase he is nothing less than an abject failure. Orton disagrees and challenges Vince to a match tonight. He doesn’t need Cody and Ted to beat Vince, just like he didn’t need them when he crushed Vince’s skull in with his foot. If Vince faces him tonight, he won’t make it to Backlash. Maybe he will have his Wrestlemania moment tonight when he permanently puts Vince down. Vince says that Orton may put him in a coma and put him down…or maybe he won’t. Vince accepts and the match is on for tonight.
1) The Miz & John Morrison vs. Primo & Carlito Colon for the Unified Tag Team Championship in a lumberjack match
We are back and it is Wrestlemania dark match rematch time. The lumberjacks are around the ring as Miz & Morrison hit the ring. The Champs are out next and we are ready for some tag title action. Carlito and Morrison start things off and Morrison grabs control with a kick. He lands an uppercut but Carlito comes back with a springboard back elbow for one. He tags in Primo, who comes in with a slingshot senton and Carlito drops a leg. Primo gets a near fall. He follows with a headscissor takeover after a headstand on the top rope. Morrison hooks the rope on a whip and sends a charging Primo to the apron. Primo somersaults over him back inside and knocks Morrison to the floor. The lumberjacks assault Morrison and then throw him back inside. Primo gets a one count as we go to break. When we return, Morrison takes over and he tags in Miz. They hit a double team flapjack for two. Miz locks in a reverse chinlock but Primo breaks it with a jawbreaker. He tags in Carlito who nails Miz with a forearm to the head. He slams Miz and then drills him with a knee lift. Carlito slips out of a tilt-a-whirl attempt and hits an STO for two. Miz backdrops Carlito to the apron, but he slugs Miz and heads up top. Miz catches him and follows him up top. He tries a superplex, but Carlito blocks it. Both men fight to the top rope, but both fall off into the lumberjacks. Primo and Morrison both come flying off the top rope to take out all the lumberjacks. Morrison’s attack was with a sick shooting star press which was damn impressive. Miz and Carlito end up back inside and Miz gets a near fall. Morrison comes in to break up a pin, but he and Primo end up on the floor again shortly after. Carlito tries the backstabber, but Miz hooks the ropes and he crashes to the mat. Miz covers and gets a close near fall. Carlito ends up on Miz’ shoulders, but he slips down and hits the backstabber to retain the titles. The Colons d. Miz & Morrison when Carlito pins Miz with the backstabber; Grade: 2.5
– Backstage, Vince is changing when Shane joins him. Shane is cool with the six man at Backlash but seems unsure about tonight. Vince says he never backs down from a challenge and he can’t wait to get his hands on Orton. He knows if Rhodes & DiBiase get in there, Shane has his back, but he just wants Orton. Shane understands that Vince wants to do it on his own and takes off as we check out a montage of Cena’s 12 Rounds promotional tour before going to break.
– We are back and thanking Kid Rock for “So Hott”, a song he performed last night for the diva entrances.
2) Jillian, Kelly, Melina, Mickie & Layla vs. Eve, Maryse, Natalya, Gail Kim, and Maria
And we head to the ring for more inter-promotional action in the form of a ten Diva tag. I won’t lie…I do not like the pants that are covering Kelly’s lovely lower half. Both teams make their entrances as Cole tells us that WWE.com has photos of all of the battle royal competitors last night. King tells us that WWE.com had over 100 million hits today. Melina and Gail start off and they trade some holds. Gail gets a jackknife cover for one, but Melina bridges out and gets a backslide pin for two. Melina ducks a clothesline but Gail catches her with some right hands anyway. Melina spikes her back to the mat but Gail hits a cross body off the middle rope. Gail tosses Melina to the floor, where Maryse meets here and hammers her with a forearm. Gail tags in Natalya, who locks in a surfboard submission on Melina. Melina finally breaks loose and tags in Mickie. She hits the Thesz press and then mares Natalya over and follows with a low dropkick for one. Mickie lands some forearms but Natalya hits a knee. Mickie floats over a charge, but Natalya catches her and spikes her to the mat for a near fall. A brawl breaks out on the floor as Mickie and Natalya fight in the ring. Mickie hits a tornado DDT and gets the win. Team Raw d. Team Smackdown when Mickie pins Natalya with a tornado DDT; Grade: 1.5
– The Raw Divas celebrate as the Smackdown team tries to figure out what just happened. Backstage, Shane catches up with Triple H. Shane says the plan was supposed to be three on three and that he couldn’t talk sense into Vince. He asks Hunter to try as well. Hunter says it usually does no good, but he will give it a shot anyway. We get a freeze frame of Cena’s awesome feat of strength last night when he hoisted Show and Edge on his shoulders before heading to break.
– We are back from break and Gillette Fusion presents some clips of Rey sends JBL into retirement last night.
3) John Cena, CM Punk, Jeff Hardy, Ricky Steamboat & Rey Mysterio vs. Kane, Big Show, Edge, Matt Hardy & Chris Jericho
And as we return to the Toyota Center, Jeff Hardy joins us for the Wrestlemania All Star ten man tag match. The rest of his team head out to join him one by one and we get some Wrestlemania clips mixed in as well. Jericho is the first man out for the opposition and he is followed by Kane, Matt Hardy, Show and Edge. As Edge hits the ring, we take a quick break. When we return, Rey and Hardy are in the ring. Rey sends Matt into the middle buckle with a drop toehold. He ends up on matt’s shoulders, but punches his way off. He rolls through a sunset flip and tags in Jeff. Matt scampers away and tags in Edge. Edge slugs Jeff down and hammers away in the corner. Jeff comes back with a headscissors takeover and then tags in Cena. Edge catches him as he comes in and punches away at him. Cena hits a facebuster and grabs an armbar. He obliges the fans and tags in Steamboat. He comes off the top with a chop and then gets a near fall. Steamboat grabs an armbar Steamboat hits a cross body for two but Edge catches him with a knee to the gut and then tags in Kane. Dragon fires away with some chops and dodges a charge in the corner. He takes out Jericho, Hardy and Edge as they try to get involved. He nails Kane with a low dropkick and then heads up top. He comes off with a flying chop, but Kane catches him and plants him with a sidewalk slam. Kane tags in Jericho, who stomps away at Ricky. Jericho tags in Show, who chops Steamboat across the chest. The crowd is into Steamboat big time here. Show chokes Ricky with his boot and just works him over in the corner. Steamboat fights back, but Show clubs him down hard. Show tags in Jericho, who takes Steamboat out with a clothesline for two. Jericho clamps on a chinlock as we see Show’s handprint on Steamboat’s chest. Steamboat fights up and hammers away at Jericho with right hands. Jericho takes him down and tries to lock in the Walls. Steamboat fights it and gets a roll up for two. He flips out of a backdrop attempt and falls into a tag to Punk. Punk drills Jericho with a kneelift and follows with the knee in the corner and the bulldog. He knocks everyone off the apron, but Kane drills him with a shot to the throat. Jericho stomps on Punk and then tags in Kane as we take another break. When we return, Punk is hammering away at Kane, but Kane stops him short and tags in Matt. Matt clubs at Punk and then he tags in Edge. They hit a double team back elbow and Edge covers for two. Edge tags in Show and then quickly bails to the floor. Show drills Punk with a big headbutt from behind. Show lands another chop and then gives a stiff tag to Edge. Edge kicks away and tags in Kane. Kane puts Punk on the top rope, but Punk fights him off and kicks him to the mat. Punk comes flying off, but Kane catches him by the neck. He hoists Punk up, but Punk reverses it into a DDT. Kane tags Edge and Punk tags in Jeff, who hits a pair of clotheslines and an atomic drop. He follows with a low dropkick for two. Matt comes in and Jeff tosses him to the floor. He tags Cena and then follows Matt with a plancha outside. Show heads into the ring and Cena comes in and hops on Show’s back, also tagging Rey in the process. Rey comes in and takes out Edge, sending him into the middle rope. He nails Jericho with a headscissors takeover and hits both men with a stereo 619. Steamboat climbs the top turnbuckle and hits a high cross body on Edge and Rey drops on Jericho with a splash for the win. I bumped up the grade on Steamboat’s work alone. Punk, Cena, Steamboat, Mysterio & Hardy d. Edge, Show, Jericho, Kane & Hardy when Mysterio pins Jericho with a splash; Grade: 3.5
– The winners celebrate in the ring as Punk takes some glances at Cena’s gold. Steamboat is left alone and gets his moment in the sun before running up the ramp and embracing all of his teammates. Backstage, Hunter talks to Vince. Vince doesn’t want to hear it and Vince calls him stubborn, obnoxious and over aggressive, but says he is proud. He tells Vince to do him a favor and finish it. He walks off as we go to break.
– We have returned and the King is thanking AC/DC for “Shoot to Thrill”. Lillian then brings out Vicki Guerrero…well she introduces her as Chavo wheels her onto the ramp. When the Board asked her to be the interim GM of Raw, it came with a provision. After Wrestlemania, she would have the opportunity to become GM of one show or the other and not both. With the draft next week, a decision had to be made and she has decided to become the permanent GM of Raw. And the crowd is booing her out of the building. She says Raw has been stale and stagnant and she will be a breath of fresh air. She will bring a degree of fairness and professionalism. She is proud to announce that Edge will get his rematch with John Cena at Backlash. This will be Edge’s last chance at regaining his Championship. As far as the title is concerned, the six man tag match announced earlier will now also be a championship match. If anyone on Triple H’s team loses, Randy Orton becomes the Champion. Cole says that Vicki has gone over Vince’s head with the title stipulation. Vicki comes back out and tells us that the Edge/Cena match will also be Last Man Standing. Cole and Lawler talk about the awesome Undertaker/Michaels match from last night. King calls it the best Wrestlemania match ever as we check out the video package that opened the show.
– WWE Superstars premieres on WGN America on Thursday, April 16, so check it out. All of us will check out a Hall of Fame recap right now. Back in the arena, Lillian brings out Miss Wrestlemania: Santina Marella. She enters to Billy & Chuck’s old theme and sheepishly heads to the ring. When her brother, the obnoxiously good looking and manly Santino was barred from the battle royal, his heart was broken. But his flesh and blood was victorious. What does the future hold for Santina? Will she be in the SI swimsuit calendar? Or maybe make posters of her walking on the beach in Calabria with a string bikini on. Or maybe she will meet a nice man and make babies? She could even be Miss America some day. What really sounds nice are the words “Santina Marella: Miss Wrestlemania”. The celebration is interrupted by Beth and Rosa. Santina introduces herself to Beth, but Beth is not impressed. Beth wants her to cut the crap and wants to know what Santina is trying to do. She says that she is embarrassing herself in front all of the people and that she better not catch Santina in the Diva locker room again. Beth is not happy that Santina eliminated her last night but Santina says it was every girl for herself. Beth wants a match tonight but Santina says she is jealous because she is more of a woman than Beth will ever be. Beth asks Santina if she is man enough to accept this challenge. Santina wants to see if Beth is woman enough and she calls out a referee as we go to break.
4) Beth Phoenix vs. Santina Marella
We are back and see that Santina danced for everyone during the break, much to Beth’s consternation. The full performance will be on WWE.com after the show. The bell sounds and Santina dances around the ring. Beth chops Santina and then she follows with some forearms and right hands. She pulls up Santina’s skirt and Santina bails to the floor. Back inside, Beth tries to slam Santina, but she hooks the top rope and ends up falling on top of Beth and getting the three. Santina is awesome and pretty damn funny. Santina d. Beth when she falls on Beth during a slam attempt; Grade: .5
– Santina takes off and we see Mr. McMahon walking backstage s we go to break.
5) Randy Orton vs. Mr. McMahon
We are back and it is main event time as Randy Orton saunters to the ring. McMahon is out next and he has his customary black cut off and black jeans on. The bell sounds as they stare each other down. Vince strikes first with a smack that sends Orton down. He lands another and then works the midsection. Lawler points out that Orton is hurting from last night. Vince keeps working him over in the corner until Orton staggers to the mat. Vince kicks him out to the floor and then he follows him out. He runs Orton into the announce table, yelling at him the whole time. Vince runs Orton into the apron a few times and then lands another right hand before rolling Orton back inside. Orton ducks a charge and drops Vince with his inverted backbreaker. Orton works Vince’s midsection and drops a series of stiff knees on the neck. Orton drops Vince with an RKO and then stands over him as he tries to push his way up. Orton steps back and lines up for the punt, but Shane comes in and trips him up before he can strike. McMahon & Orton fight to a no contest; Grade: 1
– DiBiase and Rhodes hit the ring now and beat down Shane. Orton joins in as well as the assault continues. The crowd wakes up as Triple H comes charging down. He takes out Cody and Ted and then meets Orton in the ring. Triple H lands a clothesline and then hammers away. Rhodes and DiBiase come in to break things up and Legacy finally takes over. DiBiase takes Shane out with a Million Dollar Urinage. The beatdown continues until…oh my! Batista is in the house to a huge pop and he is looking for revenge. He wipes out all of Legacy, crushing Rhodes with a spinebuster. Cody rolls to the floor, but Hunter sends him back inside and Batista drills him with a Batistabomb. Orton and DiBiase take off as Vince grabs a mic. He says he won’t make it to Backlash because Batista will be taking his place in the match. Orton is not pleased but the crowd is. We get a huge staredown as we fade out.
Final Grade: B
MVP: Ricky Steamboat & Batista
Runner Up: The Colons
Non MVP: Beth Phoenix
Runner Up: Miz & Morrison
Posted on April 6, 2009, in Justin Rozzero, WWE and tagged Batista, Beth Phoenix, Big Show, Carlito, Chavo Guerrero, Chris Jericho, CM Punk, Cody Rhodes, Edge, Eve Torres, Gail Kim, Jeff Hardy, Jillian Hall, John Cena, John Morrison, Kane, Kelly Kelly, Layla, Maria, Maryse, Matt Hardy, Melina, Mickie James, Natalya, Primo Colon, Randy Orton, Raw, Rey Mysterio, Ricky Steamboat, Rosa Mendez, Santino Marella, Shane McMahon, Ted DiBiase Jr., The Legacy, The Miz, Triple H, Vickie Guerrero, Vince McMahon. Bookmark the permalink. 3 Comments.