Bigelow’s Raw Report 4/13/09
Monday Night Raw 4/13/09
2009 Roster Draft
Announcers: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Jim Ross, Todd Grisham, Josh Matthews & Matt Striker
– We start off this super sized edition of Raw with a recap of Randy Orton’s antics and the subsequent fallout, including the return of Batista, last week. We then check out our opening animation before heading inside the Phillips Arena for the 2009 Roster Draft. Superstars from all the brands will compete in inter-promotional matches with the winning brand receiving a pick. JR, Grisham, Matthews and Striker are all here as well to add to the excitement. Matthews seems to have an unfortunate bloody nose here. We will have a big battle royal tonight with two draft picks on the line. Two picks are also on the line as John Cena faces Jack Swagger. Before we get to the action, though, we are joined by the Animal! Batista hits the ring to a favorable reaction from the crowd and he is set to address the fans for the first time since late last year. He feels good to be back and tells us he missed us more than we missed him. It took him four months to get back in the ring and the one thing that drove him was retribution. We get a clip of Orton taking Batista out with the RKO and punt. He has replayed that scene every day in his head for the last four months as it was all he could think about. The worst part was sitting around and waiting, counting the days until he could get his hands on Orton. He is tired of waiting and he is back. No more waiting as he wants Orton to come out here right now to face him like a man. And if he doesn’t, he will tear apart the arena until he finds him. Orton doesn’t show…but Shane O’Mac does. Shane hits the ring and welcomes Batista back. He reminds Batista that Orton kicked him, his father and physically assaulted his sister as well. If anyone is getting retribution tonight, it is Shane. They argue off mic as we are joined by the third member of the Backlash team: Triple H. He says that the reason for all of the Orton stuff is because of him. Orton is just trying to get to the title and him. With all due respect to Batista, Randy Orton tried to take out his wife, the mother of his kids, while he watched. This is all because of him and he will finish what he started. He isn’t asking Batista and Shane, he is telling them that Orton is his. And this little party is interrupted by…excuse me…Vicki Guerrero. Chavo wheels the GM out onto the stage and says she is the only person who will determine who faces Orton is here. The only chance they will have to get their hands on Orton will be at Backlash in the six man Championship match. She reminds them not to be overzealous in that match, because a countout or DQ will lead to Randy Orton becoming Champion. She has an opportunity for one of them to get their hands on Orton before Backlash. Randy is here tonight, but she has given him the night off. So, tonight we will have a three on two handicap match with Shane, Batista and Triple H battling Rhodes and DiBiase. If Legacy wins, nobody faces Orton but if they win, the person who gets the fall faces Orton next week. She wishes them luck as we go to break.
1) Rey Mysterio vs. Evan Bourne
We are back and the first draft pick is on the line. The Intercontinental Champion makes his way out first as we are in for a barnburner. Evan Bourne is out next as Josh and Matt chime in on commentary. Josh hides his bloody nose side when we get a quick glimpse of them. The bell sounds and the two lock up. Bourne monkey flips Rey, but they take turns rolling each other over, ending with Rey on the apron. Bourne tries a sunset flip to the floor, but Rey blocks it and stomps on him. Out to the floor, Rey sends Bourne into the barricade with a drop toehold. Rey tosses Bourne back in for a near fall. Bourne blocks a whip and lands a boot to the gut. He counters a Rey springboard dive with a spin kick for two. Bourne clamps on a rear chinlock but Rey works out. Bourne plants Rey and drops a standing moonsault for two. Bourne heads up top but Rey catches him. Rey follows him up and takes him over with a big headscissors takeover for two. Rey uses another headscissors to send Bourne into the middle rope. He nails the 618 and follows with the splash for the win. Oh man, I hope they give them more time some day as that was criminally short. Mysterio d. Bourne with a big splash; Grade: 1.5
Draft Selection: MVP (Raw)
– The draft generator cues up and MVP is taking the US title to Raw. MVP comes out and waves to the crowd for a moment. We see Kane walking backstage as we go to break.
– We are back and Chief Jay Strongbow is in the house at ringside.
2) Kane vs. The Brian Kendrick
The fuzzy memories end quickly though, as we are joined by the big red machine, Kane. Kendrick and Ezekiel are out next as JR and the Grish hop in on commentary as well. Kendrick arrogantly dances and then smacks Kane. Kendrick takes off and Kane follows him. Kane takes out Zeke with a kick and then he tosses Kendrick back inside. Kendrick avoids Kane for a moment but eats a quick chokeslam to give Kane the win and Raw the pick. Kane d. Kendrick with a chokeslam; Grade: .5
Draft Selection: Big Show (Raw)
– The Draft generator fires up and delivers the Big Show to Raw. He comes out and points at Kane before heading off as we go to break.
– We have returned and we head backstage where Vicki is telling Chavo about how excited she is to be GM of Raw. Randy Orton comes in and tells Chavo to leave, but Vicki says he can stay. Randy wants to know what Vicki was thinking out there. Vicki says the title will not be on the line next week if Triple H wins tonight. Vicki says she could do whatever she wanted on Smackdown, but Raw is his show and he has been here longer than she has. The board of directors will be watching her very closely on Raw, so she better be careful and do the right thing. She says she has been entrusted to make fair decisions. So, if Legacy wins tonight, the man they pin faces all of Legacy next week, three on one. Elsewhere, John Cena is talking to a random dude before being interrupted by Jack Swagger. He will show the world why he is the future here tonight. He will earn two draft picks for ECW and will prove he is the new WWE poster boy. Cena formally introduces himself and we get an Abbot & Costello routine about Swagger’s nickname. Cena makes fun of the All-American American moniker before saying the draft is a night for fresh starts, so maybe Swagger should alter his nickname to the All-American Jackass. Cena tells him he may be good, but he is a punk kid with a few wins that runs his mouth. Tonight, Swagger gets a lesson in respect…respect. Melina, Mickie and Kelly are walking backstage as we go to break.
3) Kelly, Mickie James & Melina vs. Maryse, Natalya & Michelle McCool
We are back and the Smackdown divas are in the ring as JR says it is time for Smackdown to grab a draft pick. The Raw divas are out next as we are reminded that Melina beat Natalya last week in the big twenty diva tag match. JR gets a nice “vintage” jab in at Cole as a brawl breaks out with all six ladies. Mickie and Michelle end up in the ring as the bell sounds. Michelle hammers away at Mickie but she fires back until Michelle lands a knee. Michelle smacks her around but Mickie ducks a kick and mares her over. She follows with a low dropkick and gets a near fall. Mickie lands a back elbow as Michelle charges into the corner. She follows with a headscissors takeover but Michelle drills her with a stiff big boot as Mickie comes off the top. Michelle covers and wins the match single-handedly. Michelle, Natalya & Maryse d. Mickie, Kelly & Melina when Michelle pins Mickie with a boot to the face; Grade: 1
Draft Selection: Melina (Smackdown)
– The draft generator is up and running and Melina is heading to Smackdown. She stares down all the Smackdown divas. We see John Cena walking backstage as we go to break.
– The Just For Men Rewind takes us to Smackdown for the great Cena/Edge promo showdown. Back at ringside, King and Cole run down the draft picks that have already gone down here in the first hour.
4) John Cena vs. Jack Swagger in a non title match
We head to the ring for our next match with two draft picks on the line. Cena is out first to his usual great mixed reaction. The All-American American ECW Champion is out next for what is probably his biggest match to date so far in WWE. Matthews and Striker hop in on commentary along with King and Cole for this champion vs. champion match. They lock up off the bell and Swagger takes Cena down with a leg sweep. Swagger bounces around as Cena climbs to his feet. Swagger goes for a waistlock and takes Cena down hard and hooks on a front facelock on the mat. Cena comes back with a shoulderblock to send Swagger to the floor. Cena follows him out and slugs Swagger down. He pulls him up and tosses him back inside for one. Cena puts his head down on a whip and Swagger drills him with a boot to the face. He takes Cena down and gets a near fall. Swagger shoots Cena into the corner hard and then follows with a stiff clothesline for two. Cena fires back as the crowd is chanting for Swagger. Cena misses a charge and Swagger locks in a full nelson. Cena tries to break the hold, but Swagger hangs on to the hold and puts the pressure on. Cena finally breaks the hold and elbows free. He nails another shoulderblock and the spinning side suplex. Cena drops the Five Knuckle Shuffle to the consternation of Striker. Cena loads up the AA but Swagger hooks the rope and takes Cena down with a kick to the head. Swagger sends Cena careening into the post shoulder first. He looks down at Cena as we go to break. When we return, both men are down and the count is on. Both men crawl to their feet at seven and Cena comes up firing. Swagger ducks a right and floats over into a front facelock. Cena fights it, but Swagger drops him with a stiff DDT for a near fall. Swagger drills Cena with a high knee for another near fall. Swagger snaps Cena over with a powerslam for two. Swagger tries a springboard splash off the middle rope, but Cena pops up and catches him and plants him with the AA. Cena locks in the STF and picks up the win and pair of picks for Raw. Swagger gave a man sized effort there and Cena merely survived him rather than beating him. Cena d. Swagger with the STF; Grade: 3
Draft Selection: Matt Hardy (Raw)
Draft Selection: Triple H (Raw)
– Raw gets two huge picks as Matt Hardy and Triple H are heading to Monday nights. Each man makes an appearance on the stage and we even get a dose of King of Kings as Triple H appears. As Cena watches Triple H mug, Edge jumps him from behind out of the crowd. Cena dodges a spear and tries for the AA, but Edge slips free and bails as we go to break.
– We are back and looking at downtown Atlanta as Cole and King run down all the draft picks that have gone down so far. Backstage, Orton is chatting with Ted and Cody. He reminds them what is on the line tonight as the stakes are high. He asks them their strategy and Cody says their plan is to keep the three ego maniacs at odds with each other. Their in fighting will lead to them getting themselves DQ’d here tonight and at Backlash, giving Orton the title. Orton likes it and we head back to the ring where we are joined by Santino Marella. Santino hits the ring as we take another break.
– The Axe Slam of the Week takes us back to Santina defeating Beth Phoenix last week on Raw.
5) Santino Marella vs. Great Khali
Back to the ring, Santino awaits his opponent…the Great Khali. Khali and Runjin head to the ring as Grish and JR hop in on commentary for this next bout. Santino’s facials as Khali hits the ring are pretty funny. He has the Michael Scott look of nausea on his face. Before the bell, we are joined by Beth Phoenix and Rosa Mendes. Beth mockingly says hi to Santino and says she had a talk with Vicki tonight. Besides the draft pick, if Khali beats Santino tonight, Santina has to pucker up and be on the Khali Kiss Cam next week. The bell sounds and Santino tries to stall and gather himself. He attempts some right hands but Khali swats him off. Khali chokes him as he hangs on the middle rope. Santino won’t release the ropes as he clutches for dear life. He finally lets go and tries to charge, but Khali puts him down with a shoulderblock. Khali chops him down and nets Smackdown a draft pick. Khali d. Marella with a chop; Grade: .5
Draft Selection: CM Punk (Smackdown)
– The draft generator is back and CM Punk is taking his MITB briefcase to Smackdown. Punk comes out with the briefcase and holds it high. Miz and Morrison are walking backstage as we go to break.
6) The Miz vs. Kofi Kingston
We are back and Miz and Morrison make their way out as Miz tries to get ECW their first draft pick of the night. We get our weekly cup of Kofi as we are ready for more action. They lock up off the bell and Miz grabs a side headlock. Kofi breaks free and they reset with another lockup. Kofi puts Miz down with a shoulderblock but Miz comes back with another side headlock. Miz puts Kofi down with a shoulderblock but Kofi leapfrogs Miz and drops him for a near fall. Kofi grabs an armbar but Miz grabs the ropes. Josh says Miz is having separation anxiety about possibly having his bromance ruined. Kofi tosses Miz to the floor with a hiptoss. He feigns a plancha but does nail Miz with a baseball slide dropkick. Striker makes a Dwight Schrute joke that goes way over Lawler’s head. Morrison distracts Kofi as Miz slides through the ropes and dropkicks him hard to the floor. Back inside, Miz grabs a rear chinlock. Miz takes Kofi down hard and gets one. Kofi fights out of the headlock but Miz hits the corner charge clothesline for two. We get some sniping from Lawler, Matthews and Strike over the results so far tonight. Miz is trying here but the crowd seems a bit burnt out. Miz gets a near fall and then locks in a head vise. Kofi elbows free and takes Miz over to the mat. Kofi fires away and lands a big leaping clothesline. He avoids a charge in the corner and kicks Miz to the mat. Kofi comes off the top with a cross body but Miz rolls through for two. Miz plants Kofi with a front Russian legsweep for another near fall. Kofi tries a sunset flip, but it is blocked so he bridges up and takes Miz down with side legsweep. He follows with the Boom legdrop for two. Miz ducks the Trouble in Paradise and gets two. Miz gets a roll up but Kofi rolls through for two. Miz eats a boot on a charge and Kofi heads to the middle rope. Morrison hops up on the apron and shoves Kofi to draw the weak DQ. It was technically fine and it picked up in the end before the lame DQ, but the crowd wasn’t feeling it. Kingston d. Miz by disqualification; Grade: 2
Draft Selection: The Miz (Raw)
– The draft selector sends the Miz to Raw and he can blame his buddy for the one. Miz starts to cry and he gives his brother a long embrace. But, the hug is short lived as Miz drills Morrison and drops him with the Reality Check. Miz stands tall as we go to break.
7) 15 Man Tri-Brand Battle Royal for Two Draft Picks
Raw: MVP, Shad, JTG, Mike Knox & Big Show
ECW: Finlay, Tyson Kidd, Paul Burchill, Mark Henry & Ricky Ortiz
Smackdown: Carlito, Primo, R-Truth, Chavo Guerrero & Edge
All fifteen men head to the ring by brand as Grish tells us Edge won this match last year. The bell sounds and everyone starts brawling. Everyone just hammers away at each other as the announcers talk about what has happened in the first two hours. Show dumps Ortiz to get the eliminations stated. He tosses Burchill as well. Show and Henry toss Knox, Chavo, Shad, Primo, JTG and Kidd. Show takes Carlito out as Edge is the lone Smackdown rep. Henry easily tosses MVP out. Edge dumps Finlay and there are three left. Show drops Edge with a chokeslam and then he and Henry battle against the ropes. Show deadlifts Henry and puts him on the apron. Henry grabs Show’s head and tries to pull him over. Show lands some headbutts as Henry tries to hand on. Show sends Henry out with a big right hand and we are down to two. Show charges but Edge drops down and Show goes flying to the floor as Edge wins the match for the second straight year. This was nothing outside of Henry and Show showing off their impressive power and Edge outsmarting them for the win yet again. Edge wins a battle royal; Grade: N/A
Draft Selection: Kane (Smackdown)
Draft Selection: Chris Jericho (Smackdown)
– The Grish is nearly brought to orgasm at the announcement of Kane heading to Fridays. Chris Jericho is the second pick and he saunters out and glares at the crowd and then at Edge. He smirks and takes off as Grish ponders an Edge/Jericho alliance. They continue to smirk at each other as we go to break.
– The Veer Union present Seasons, the official Backlash theme song. Also, Chilli from TLC is in the house as Striker sings Waterfalls for us and tells her to stay away from Andre Rison’s house and we head to the ring with that.
8) Christian vs. Shelton Benjamin
Christian and Benjamin head to the ring with another pick on the line. Shelton mares Christian over and kicks him in the face for two. Christian fires back and heads up top, but Shelton leaps up to meet him and sends him flying with a super belly-to-belly throw, which sends Christian to the floor. Shelton goes out and gets him, tossing him back inside for two. Shelton slams him down and grabs a chinlock armbar submission. Christian fires free and whips Shelton into the corner. Shelton tries a springboard forearm but Christian ducks it and he careens to the mat. Christian slugs away and ducks an Enziguri. Christian goes for the Killswitch, but Shelton slips free and hits a backbreaker for two. Christian monkey flips Shelton but Shelton lands on his feet. He misses a Stinger splash and Christian drops the Killswitch for the win to get ECW on the board. Christian d. Benjamin with the Killswitch; Grade: 1.5
Draft Selection: Vladimir Kozlov (ECW)
– Striker prays for a good pick and the Generator delivers Vladimir Kozlov to Tuesday nights. Vlad walks out and stares into the distance as we go to break.
– We are back and running down the Backlash card as these matches are locked in despite the results of the draft. Backstage, Triple H and Shane are talking and arguing over who gets Orton and Batista joins in the conversation and says he is cool with Triple H edict. Batista and Shane take off as we go to break.
9) CM Punk vs. Matt Hardy
Back from break and we are joined by Mr. MITB, CM Punk. This match is for the 11th pick here tonight and it should be a good one as Matt Hardy makes his way out. The bell sounds and Punk gets a roll up for one. Matt follows with a near fall of his own. Punk fires away with right hands and kicks. He goes for the G2S, but Matt slips free. Punk takes him over with a suplex for one. Punk works Matt over with some knees in the corner but Matt catches him as he tries to float over a charge and he snaps Punk down with an inverted powerbomb for two. Matt follows with a side suplex for two. Matt hooks in an abdominal stretch but Punk elbows his way out. He lands a kick and a clothesline. He follows with a leg lariat for two. Matt lands a clothesline in the corner, but Punk shoots him across, hits the charging kneelift and drops the bulldog for two. Punk goes for the G2S again, but Matt fights loose again and hits the Side Effect. Matt gets to his feet but Jeff Hardy charges in and spears him for the DQ. That was disappointing with a weak ending. Hardy d. Punk by disqualification when Jeff Hardy interferes; Grade: 1.5
– Jeff drops Matt with a sit out gourdbuster and heads up top but Matt bails and takes off.
Draft Selection: Maryse (Raw)
– The draft generator revs up and we find out Maryse is taking the Divas Championship and her hot body to Raw. She vogues for the crowd as we go to break.
10) Chris Jericho vs. Tommy Dreamer
We are back from commercial and Chris Jericho is out for our next match. Tommy is out next and he will try to get ECW a second pick on the night. Jericho grabs a side headlock and puts Dreamer down with a shoulderblock. Dreamer comes back with a hiptoss and clotheslines Jericho to the floor. Jericho catches Dreamer with a boot as they both come back in. Grisham and Lawler rag on Dreamer, comparing him to the Brooklyn Brawler. Jericho is dominating but Dreamer blocks a suplex and hits one of his own. Dreamer eats a big boot on a charge and Jericho unloads on him with right hands. He follows with a splash as Dreamer was draped on the middle rope. Jericho hooks on a cobra clutch as the crowd is just wiped out at this point. Dreamer catches Jericho with his head down and nails a clothesline. Jericho ends up in the tree of woe and Dreamer drills him with a dropkick to the shoulder. Jericho slips loose and blocks a DDT attempt. Jericho takes Dreamer down by his legs and goes for the Walls, but Dreamer kicks him off and gets an inside cradle for two. Dreamer catches Jericho with a powerbomb off a charge and gets another near fall. Dreamer heads up top but Jericho catches him with a right hand. Jericho smacks Dreamer around and goes for a superplex, but Dreamer shoves him off. He comes flying off, but Jericho catches him with the Codebreaker for the win. Jericho d. Dreamer with the Codebreaker; Grade: 2
Draft Selection: Rey Mysterio (Smackdown)
– The generator sends Rey and the IC title back to Smackdown to reclaim the Hispanic audience that departed with him. Rey holds his belt up for the fans as JR talks about Smackdown’s momentum that was gained later in the show. They run down all the picks as the draft is done for the night. The supplemental draft will take place on WWE.com on Wednesday afternoon, so check that out. DiBiase & Rhodes head to the ring for our main event as we take a break.
11) Cody Rhodes & Ted DiBiase vs. Triple H, Shane McMahon & Batista
We are back and the Grish tells us that Matt Hardy will battle the Undertaker on the first WGN Superstars episode this Thursday night. Triple H is out first and is followed by Shane and Batista. Shane and Cody start off and Shane is a house of fire. He lands a flying clothesline for two. Shane peppers Cody with right hands but Batista tags himself in as Shane jukes and jives around the ring. DiBiase tags in as well and Batista works him over in the corner. Batista hits a clothesline but Triple H tags himself in as well. Triple H slugs away in the corner, beating Ted into the mat. He nails a facebuster and a clothesline for two. Triple H nails a spinebuster on a charge but Batista breaks up the pin. DiBiase drills Triple H from behind as he jaws with Batista. Ted tags in Cody and he works Hunter over in the corner. He quick tags Ted, who goes to work on the leg. Ted shakes off a boot to the face and nails a dropkick for two. Cody comes back in and he continues to work on the leg. Ted tags back in but Triple H leverages him into the buckle. He crawls over to tag, but Ted stops him and tags Cody back in. Triple H works out of a reverse chancery and takes Cody over with a back drop. Batista and Ted both tag in and Batista sends Ted over with a big back drop. He follows with a powerslam for two. Cody breaks up the pin but Shane comes in and clotheslines Cody to the floor. Batista drops Ted with a spinebuster. He drops Ted with the Batistabomb but Shane breaks up the pin. Batista shoves Shane down but Triple H tags himself in. Shane takes Batista down with a spear but that allows Triple H to nail Ted with the Pedigree for the win. McMahon, Triple H & Batista d. Rhodes & DiBiase when Triple H pins DiBiase with the Pedigree; Grade: 2.5
– Orton comes out and stares at Triple H as they will square off next week on Raw. The staredown goes on as we fade out for the night.
Final Grade: C+
MVP: Monday Night Raw
Runner Up: Jack Swagger
Non MVP: ECW
Runner Up: The Brian Kendrick
Posted on April 13, 2009, in Justin Rozzero, WWE and tagged Batista, Beth Phoenix, Big Show, Brian Kendrick, Carlito, Chavo Guerrero, Chris Jericho, Christian, CM Punk, Cody Rhodes, Cryme Tyme, Edge, Evan Bourne, Ezekiel Jackson, Finlay, Great Khali, Jack Swagger, John Cena, John Morrison, JTG, Kane, Kelly Kelly, Kofi Kingston, Mark Henry, Maryse, Matt Hardy, Melina, Michelle McCool, Mickie James, Mike Knox, MVP, Natalya, Paul Burchill, Primo Colon, R-Truth, Randy Orton, Raw, Rey Mysterio, Ricky Ortiz, Rosa Mendez, Runjin Singh, Santino Marella, Shad, Shane McMahon, Shelton Benjamin, Ted DiBiase Jr., The Legacy, The Miz, Tommy Dreamer, Triple H, Tyson Kidd, Vickie Guerrero, Vladimir Kozlov. Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.