WCW Monday Nitro
January 27, 1997
Des Moines, IA
Veterans Memorial Auditorium

The current WCW champs were as follows:
WCW World Champion: Hollywood Hogan (8/10/1996)
WCW U.S. Champion: Eddie Guerrero (12/29/1996)
WCW World Tag Team Champions: The Outsiders (10/27/1996)
WCW World Television Champion: Lord Steven Regal (8/20/1996)
WCW Cruiserweight Champion: Dean Malenko (1/21/1997)
WCW Women’s Champion: Akira Hokuto (12/29/1996)

Just an update: Hulk Hogan is still hulking it up in the intro video.

HOUR NUMBER ONE! Your hosts are Eric Bischoff, Scott Hall, and Kevin Nash. But you’re not Tony and Larry.

Bischoff introduces the footage of the Steiners winning the tag belts from the Outsiders at Souled Out, but a WCW ref Randy Anderson counted the pinfall. They call Randy Anderson from the ring over to the broadcast table and he explains that the ticket he received for Souled Out was a gift from a WCW promoter. For me, that throws off the whole “this was strictly an nWo show” ruse. Bischoff says that goes against the policy because you can’t accept gifts at WCW. It’s a tight ship, ya know. Therefore since Randy Anderson accepted the gift, he is immediately terminated. Randy Anderson mentions how he’s had a bout with cancer over the last year and how he’s got kids to support. Don’t we all, Randy. Bischoff couldn’t care less though. Now Bischoff calls the Steiners out. Since Eric is the highest ranking official in WCW, he demands that they return the belts or they will be guilty of breach of contract. Of course the Steiners are pissed about this and they throw the belts down on the concrete to make a point. Uh oh, Bischoff tells them not to worry about picking up their paychecks for the next six months because they are going to be fined BIG TIME for their actions. Let’s get down to the ring!

• Rick & Scott Steiner vs. The Faces of Fear

The Steiners clean house early and the Faces of Fear don’t take too kindly to that idea. They come back in and start double-teaming Rick – specifically with the backdrop into the powerbomb spot that I LOVE. Barbarian gives Rick a suplex as Meng comes off the top rope for a splash. What makes that even worse for Rick is that he sits up when Meng comes down on him. Whoops. Running powerslam by Barbarian gets two. STEREO FLYING HEADBUTTS connect, but Scott breaks up the pin. The Faces of Fear start CLUBBERIN all over Rick. Odd spot as Rick falls on top of Barbarian off a belly to belly superplex as if he countered the move. Nevertheless, Rick ducks the KICK OF FEAR and takes Barbarian over with a back suplex. HOT TAG TO SCOTT! The action breaks down and Scott gives Meng an overhead suplex for the 1-2-3. (5:56) Always loved it when these two teams got together. **

Okay, Tony and Larry Z are here now. Nobody panic. Since Souled Out was an nWo PPV, they can only stills taken from a WCW camera guy from the show. According to Tony, it was a good night because Eddie took back his U.S. title in the ladder match and DDP got one over on the nWo again.

• The Giant vs. Roadblock

Oh man, we’ve got a VERY pissed off Giant. He stops everything Roadblock throws at him and even gives the huge man a slam. A running dropkick sends Roadblock over the top rope and through a table! Back in, the CHOKESLAM scores Giant the win. (1:48) Afterwards, Giant sends out another challenge to Hollywood Hogan. Please – not again. ¼*

• WCW U.S. Heavyweight Champion Eddie Guerrero vs. Jeff Jarrett

I’m assuming Jarrett wanted this match because Eddie left him for the Four Horsemen last week, but we don’t hear a word of the story from Tony or Larry. After they go toe to toe, Jarrett blocks a hiptoss and nails Guerrero with a clothesline. Monkey flip from Jarrett is a bad idea because Eddie counters that and hits a dropkick for two. Tony says he has a surprise to show us after this match. Sunset flip is blocked, but Eddie gets a small package anyways for two. Jarrett jumps up with a clothesline and gets a two of his own. Suplex gets Eddie ready for the Bossman straddle. Double-KO ensues, but Guerrero comes back with a tilt-a-whirl headscissors. Eddie delivers the Brainbuster, but Jarrett stops the FROG SPLASH with a superplex! Guerrero kicks away a FIGURE-FOUR attempt as Debra pulls Steve McMichael down to ringside. Eddie starts up the ten-count corner punch, but there’s Mongo up on the apron to bring him down. Instead of going after Eddie, Mongo knocks Jarrett out of the corner with the Haliburton to give Jarrett the win via DQ. (4:33) It showed signs of a good solid match, but the finish overshadowed everything else. Obviously, Debra is upset with her hubby. Larry Z – “That’s why you should keep them in the kitchen.” **¼

Here comes Tony’s surprise. It’s the finish to Piper-Hogan at Starrcade. As Hogan’s arm drops twice during the sleeper hold, the tape stops and we don’t get to see the actual ending to the match. Tony and Larry Z act all confused when Eric Bischoff comes over with the tape and reprimands them for what they tried to do. Eric pulls apart the videotape as we go to break. That’s either a small building or Eazy-E was POWERWALKING.

WCW Saturday Night! Watch it IF YOU WEEL! 6:05PM eastern! TBS! Harlem Heat will meet Public Enemy in a return match from last week! Plus, Lex Luger takes on La Parka! Glacier and many others will also appear on the show! Don’t miss out! It’s the MUTHASHIP! PAY WINDAHS, CLUBBERIN, AND PLUNDAH, BABY!

• Ultimo Dragon (w/Sonny Oono) vs. Billy Pearl

If you ever wondered what Bob Backlund looked like at age 12, then check out Billy Pearl. He tries to make a good showing, but Dragon is on tonight. He levels Pearl with the Kick Combo, but Pearl avoids the Handspring Elbow. He heads up top, but Dragon dropkicks him on the way down. Fallaway slam leads to a Flying Moonsault and the Tiger Suplex gets the 1-2-3. (2:45) Fair enough. ¾*

Gene Okerlund brings out the Four Horsemen and the ladies for their weekly interview. Ric Flair tries to convince everybody that the Four Horsemen now are getting along. Apparently, things are good because Chris Benoit tore up Kevin Sullivan last week at the Clash. Yeah, nothing all that new going on here.

• Lex Luger vs. Ron Powers

Ron Powers has a Bruiser Brody look to him, but that’s where the comparison stops. Before you know it, Luger has this guy up in the TORTURE RACK for the quick win. (1:11) After the match, Luger admits that he and Giant haven’t always gotten along, but this time he’s got his back. CRAP

HOUR NUMBER TWO! Your hosts are Tony Schiavone, Bobby Heenan, and Mike Tenay.

Recap from Earlier Tonight: Randy Anderson gets fired and the Steiners are forced to return the tag belts. Wait, why am I recapping a recap?

• The Amazing French Canadians (w/Col. Robert Parker) vs. Arn Anderson & Steve McMichael (w/Debra)

As a HUGE Arn Anderson fan, I must mention that this would prove to be Arn’s final match on Nitro. The AFC do a Pearl Harbor job on AA to start. Man, they really give it to him. Back inside, Jacques slams Carl on top of AA. He fights back, but the AFC stop him with a double hotshot. Oulette gives Arn an atomic drop into the corner, but Arn bounces back and elbows him down. HOT TAG TO MONGO! Clotheslines abound and he press slams Rougeau on top of Oulette. Mongo even gives them a DOUBLE NOGGIN KNOCKER. Col. Parker tosses the flagpole to Oulette, but the ref catches him which allows Debra to hand Mongo the Haliburton. Rougeau gets nailed and that’s all she wrote. (4:28) I’ll miss you, AA. *

It’s time to check in with Lee Marshall for the 1-800-COLLECT Road Report. He’s in Memphis doing all the cliché touristy Memphis things. Another week, another bad weasel joke where Bobby Heenan has a much better comeback.

• WCW World Tag Team Champions Scott Hall & Kevin Nash (w/Syxx) vs. The Extreme

Haha what? Devon Storm and Ace Darling (who happens to look like Henry Rollins) are deserving of a tag titles shot? Total squash as Hall and Nash hit their signature stuff. Nash hits a Side Slam on Storm and Hall puts him away with the OUTSIDERS EDGE to end this thing. (1:59) Hey, people dig these two. They had to give them what they wanted. ½*

• Kevin Sullivan (w/Jimmy Hart) vs. Joe Gomez

Another short one-sided squash as crazy Kevin Sullivan throws a chair at Gomez and ends him with the DOUBLE STOMP. (:44) And the award for Shortest Squash of the Night… CRAP

After the break, Hollywood Hogan and Eric Bischoff are out to answer the Giant’s challenge. While Hogan goes over the short list of losers he’s faced over the past six month and talks about his movie deals, we spot Sting and Randy Savage in the upper deck. Bischoff reminds Savage that he’s out of WCW, but he can work for the nWo. Have his people call Eric’s people – they’ll have lunch. Anyways back to what Hulk was saying, he’s going to take on the Giant tonight and then he’ll give everybody a posing expedition. Well, Bischoff is excited.

• WCW Cruiserweight Champion Dean Malenko vs. Jerry Flynn

Flynn shows off some kicks he can do. He’s almost as vocal as Iron Mike Sharpe in there. Malenko fights back and cranks on a knee. Flynn tries more kicks, but he kicks one too many times as Malenko catches a leg and ducks a mule kick to easily slap on the TEXAS CLOVERLEAF for the win. (2:33) Just a reason to see Malenko with the gold again. ¾*

Over at the broadcast position, a policeman comes by and hands Tony a letter. He announces to the crowd and to us on TV that Roddy Piper has been given a title shot at Superbrawl VII on February 23.

• Chris Benoit (w/Woman) vs. Hugh Morrus

They get nice and rough with each other to start. Morrus delivers a guerrilla press slam. WAR-YAH! Benoit fights back with a clothesline. Morrus catches him with a powerslam, but misses NO LAUGHING MATTER. As Benoit climbs up top and comes down on Morrus with the SWANDIVE HEADBUTT, Jacqueline debuts (just a fan as far as we speak) and jumps the rail to get at Woman. Security heads down to escort Jacqueline out. Meanwhile, Kevin Sullivan gets in the ring and BLASTS Benoit with a wooden chair. That sets up an easy NO LAUGHING MATTER for the 1-2-3. (3:07) Fun, but just a short match to further the Benoit-Sullivan feud. *

Now we see Kevin Sullivan and this strange buff black lady walking up the aisle with Jimmy Hart. Gene Okerlund confronts them and Sullivan tells him that she is none of Gene’s business. Jimmy Hart says women in WCW are BAD NEWS. Get her away because the Dungeon of Doom doesn’t need any more trouble. Jacqueline gets on the mic and tells Kevin that once she saw Woman hit him over the head with the wooden chair at the Clash, she decided to take matters into her own hands. Jacqueline says she’s here to give Sullivan something Jimmy can’t give him – comfort.

• WCW World Heavyweight Champion Hollywood Hogan (w/Eric Bischoff, Ted DiBiase & Vincent) vs. The Giant

Before the match, Hogan dares both the Giant and Roddy Piper to come down and fight him right now. Hulk and Vincent double-team the Giant to start. He’s not bothered by that. Out goes Vincent, and now Hogan’s face is meeting the turnbuckle. Giant continues with his big-man offense as Vincent gets back in the ring again. Out he goes again. Now Bischoff thinks he can stop the Giant. It doesn’t work. Here comes Scott Hall and Kevin Nash and that’s the end of this main event. (2:55) Lex Luger runs down with a WCW Monday Nitro shirt on and stands side by side with the Giant for a standoff with Hall and Nash as we go off the air. Yeah, no rating.

With everybody having such an easy night, it makes you wonder if there came a dark match out of this.