April 30, 2010
On Monday Night Raw, the WWE Draft happened and some people are on Raw that were on Smackdown and vice versa! Plus at the end of Raw, the newest member to the Raw roster Edge SPEARED Randy Orton and cost him a #1 contenders match to the WWE title. Well that wasn’t very nice of him.
Speaking of the WWE Draft, here are the changes:
The newest members of the Raw roster include Chris Jericho, Edge, John Morrison, R-Truth, Great Khali, Ezekiel Jackson, Goldust, the Hart Dynasty, and Natalya
The newest members of the Smackdown roster include the Big Show, Christian, MVP, Kofi Kingston, Kelly Kelly, Chavo Guerrero, Cody Rhodes, Chris Masters, Hornswoggle, and Rosa Mendes
Your hosts are Todd Grisham & Matt Striker.
On Kingston’s way out and Jericho’s way in last Monday on Raw, Kofi gave him the TROUBLE IN PARADISE kick to trigger this match as this will be Jericho’s last match at least for a while on Smackdown. I liked having him on both brands and I hope they still keep it that way because he’s one of the few left on the roster that can still produce quality matches with most anybody. Jericho gives his best farewell speech saying there will be a hole in our Friday nights from now on. Well, there would be a hole in my Friday nights anyways, but that’s a WHOLE other issue. Jericho gives us all some good advice and tells us to grow up. Kofi tells Jericho to shut up and stands up for the audience. What I can’t stand about babyfaces in 2010 is that all they do is defend the worst in people and all heels do to get heat is tell the truth. What does that say about our society? It’s pretty pathetic. Kofi says he’s going to help Jericho out with a BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! Jericho gives Kingston his best ‘are you retarded or just plain stupid’ look. Time to throw down.
- Chris Jericho vs. Kofi Kingston
Kingston starts off FISTS-A-FIRE, but Jericho stops him when he’s mounted in the corner with a powerbomb. Commercials. When we come back, Jericho baseball slides Kingston out of the ring and then mocks the guy. Awesome. Back in, Kofi fights out of a chinlock and misses a Stinger Splash. That gets two. Back to the chinlock, Kingston escapes and catches Jericho with a crossbody out of the corner for two. He goes DOUBLE CHOP CRAZY and tries the BOOM BOOM LEGDROP, but Jericho thinks that’s a stupid move and trips Kofi up for the WALLS OF JERICHO. Kingston counters into a small package for 1-2-NO! Jericho catches TROUBLE IN PARADISE and gets the WALLS OF JERICHO for real this time. Kingston reaches the ropes and hits a dropkick to set up the BOOM BOOM LEGDROP. Jericho moves out of the way, but Kofi lands on his feet. He turns around and eats the CODEBREAKER that sends Kingston bouncing out to the floor! Back inside, Jericho covers for 1-2-NO! Jericho begins mocking Kingston again and then gets nailed with TROUBLE IN PARADISE! Cover, 1-2-3! (6:14 shown) When was the last time Jericho won a match? Was it at WrestleMania? Geez. If nothing else, it puts Kofi Kingston over with the Smackdown crowd (those who can’t afford basic cable?) who will embrace him. He’s made for the cool kids to get to stay up until 10 on Friday nights. **¼
In the back, the World Heavyweight champion Jack Swagger gives us Swagger Facts. He was in the 2002 Rose Bowl and was invited to the White House by the GREATEST president in U.S. history: George W Bush. Dang, that joke is like five years old, bro.
After a break, Chris Jericho looks up at somebody. We can’t see who it is because they are off camera. Oh, now we can. It’s Big Show and he just knocked Chris Jericho the F out.
Meanwhile in the ring, Chavo Guerrero announces that the other Guerrero is on Smackdown again. Kane comes out to welcome him back to the show with a CHOKESLAM. Shades of WrestleMania 24~!
Shad Gaspard joins us via satellite all dressed up in a nice suit to tell us that this is his time. We’ve heard you say that before and you lost.
- John Morrison vs. Cody Rhodes
First match back for Cody since he was punted in the head by Orton at WrestleMania. Rhodes tries to get rough with Morrison to start when he tries to wrestle him, but then Morrison stops him with a dropkick and delivers the standing SSP for 1-2-NO! To the floor, Rhodes jumps off the steel steps and boots Morrison down as we go to commercial. When we return, Morrison fights out of a chinlock and charges into a dropkick. Gourdbuster by Rhodes sets up a Rolling Knee Drop for two. Rhodes continues to ground Morrison and then pulls out a MOONSAULT PRESS out of his rear end. Morrison avoids a knee drop and mounts his comeback with the Flying Chuck for 1-2-NO! Rhodes wants the CROSSROADS, but Morrison counters with a flapjack. Rhodes rolls away from STARSHIP PAIN, but Morrison lands on his feet. Morrison tries a headscissors from the apron, but Rhodes counters that into the ALABAMA SLAM for the 1-2-NO! Now he hits Rhodes with the Pele Kick, but Rhodes gets the CROSSROADS after all for the 1-2-3. (8:00 shown) You know the feeling you get when the crowd seems confused as to why this guy just won over the more talented guy? This has never been more evident than with Cody Rhodes since Erik Watts in 1993. **
More Swagger facts! He led the Oklahoma Sooners to three consecutive championships. With or without the speech impediment, Jack?
Meanwhile, Edge is WALKING!
The WWE Rewind is brought to you by Just For Men Mustache & Beard. It’s the finish to Monday night’s triple threat to find the #1 contender, which was won by Batista.
After some commercials, Edge makes it to the ring. He’s here to say goodbye to his Smackdown fans since he will be leaving the show to go to Raw. He thanks everybody for their support and even goes as far as to say that he *loves* them. Wow, this is getting pretty serious. Christian interrupts and reminds everybody that he used to be relevant when he was teaming with Edge. Not those exact words, but it’s what he wanted to say. He mentions the fans always wanting to see an E&C reunion, but he doesn’t want that because Edge is a complete liar. All he cares about is using people to get what he wants. Edge agrees that he can’t wait to get off Smackdown because since he’s been back, the Smackdown audience are a bunch of puppets and he’s the head puppeteer by making them yell SPEAR every week. Now all Christian wants is Edge VERSUS Christian – right here right now. Edge refuses to wrestle, but then nails Christian from behind. He boots him down and sets up for the SPEAR, but Christian kicks him during the charge and takes him to the mat for a good old fashioned schoolyard fight. Christian wants the KILLSWITCH, but Edge escapes and takes his exit. Christian attempts to lead the crowd in “Nah Nah Hey Hey Goodbye”, but nobody sings along with him. Oh come on now. I guess they just didn’t know that song. If it’s not something terrible like Rihanna or Black Eyed Peas, the kids are all confused!
Buy WrestleMania 26 on DVD this Tuesday May 4.
In the back, Josh Matthews asks Edge about a match with Christian, but he doesn’t think it would work out too well for Christian if it was to ever happen. Big Show says its too bad that there won’t be any Edge vs. Christian or Edge vs. Big Show either. He then PUNCHES EDGE IN THE FACE. Done.
- Michelle McCool & Layla (w/Vickie Guerrero) vs. Beth Phoenix & Kelly Kelly
Gosh. If Kelly Kelly is going to continue coming out on TV, at least get her some better music. It just bothers me. McCool makes KK regret coming to Smackdown to start, but then she gives McCool her spinning headscissors. Clotheslines and a hurracanrana gets 1-2-NO! KK goes to the apron and shoulder butts McCool down. As Layla comes to get her, KK jumps down and gives her a clothesline. You scorpion woman! Vickie runs over and bowls KK down. Back in, KK punches out of the FAITH BREAKER and enziguri kicks McCool away, but Layla gets a tag and prevents KK from reaching her corner. And just like that, Layla misses a leg drop and there’s the HOT TAG TO PHOENIX! McCool stops the GLAM SLAM from happening to Layla, but can’t stop the Slingshot Suplex! KK tags back in and jumps off Layla’s back and then drops down across the back of her head with a legdrop for the 1-2-3. (3:36) I don’t mind them having the Divas wrestle as long as the appear competent. Not bad. *½
It’s time for some more Swagger facts: He turned down a bunch of scholarships to some of the top colleges in the country when he was in high school.
We welcome Chris Masters to Smackdown. He shakes his rock hard boobs to the Smackdown theme. Now that’s a waste of my time.
Dolph Ziggler heads to the ring to joke about choking out Hornswoggle last Monday night on Raw. After that, they show Drew McIntyre stomping Matt Hardy’s head on the steel steps and then yelling at him that he never wants to see Matt Hardy ever again.
To the back, Josh Matthews asks Matt Hardy how he’s doing. Matt sounds all full of positivity when Drew McIntyre runs him down and gives Matt the FUTURE SHOCK on the floor.
JTG talks to himself via satellite about winning some gold now that he’s shaken off the haters.
And now back to the ring. CM Punk and the Straight Edge Society are out. Punk brags about beating Rey Mysterio at Extreme Rules and still having all of his hair on his head. Another one of Smackdown’s draft picks MVP literally interrupts CM Punk while he’s talking. He’s tired of hearing CM Punk run his mouth about being sober and fully aware of what you’re doing at all times. MVP is here to save everybody from CM Punk because now Friday nights are going to get hot. MVP tries to fight off the Straight Edge Society, but it’s 2-on-1 pal. That is until Rey Mysterio makes the save. Okay, now it’s 2-on-1½. Commercials!
CM Punk & Luke Gallows vs. Rey Mysterio & MVP
So now we have a match. MVP knocks Gallows down to start and wheelbarrow splashes Rey on top of him. Enough of that, Gallows stops Rey with a big boot and tags Punk. He drops Rey with a back suplex and delivers a couple of running legdrops for two. Suplex by Punk, running splash by Gallows for 1-2-NO! Rey fires back on CM Punk and jumps for a tag to MVP, but Punk catches him in mid air and slams him down for two. Rey comes back with a swinging DDT and makes the HOT TAG TO MVP! He hits Gallows with the BALLIN elbow drop for 1-2-NO! Rey takes out Punk with the springboard seated senton. 6-1-9 to Gallows! With Gallows staggered, MVP gives him THE 305 for the 1-2-3. (5:45) So many numbers in wrestling now. When it looks like the Straight Edge Society have left to fight another day, the masked Straight Edge assassin jumps the guardrail and nails Rey with a nasty swinging neckbreaker to put him down. **
One more Jack Swagger fact: He graduated from the University of Oklahoma with honors and a perfect 4.0 GPA. Most recently, he was invited back to his alma mater to give the key note address at the 2010 commencement ceremony.
After the break, we get even more Jack Swagger. CHECK 1-2! The world champ reminds us of even more of his accolades while the crowd boos louder and louder. Eventually, Smackdown GM Teddy Long introduces Jack Swagger’s next opponent – it’s the Big Show. He comes out and lists off four of Jack’s accomplishments using his fingers – the fifth finger though is a goal and that’s early retirement. KO PUNCH~! Done. Did WWE just steal a bit from Lucy of the Peanuts gang?
TOTAL TIME OF WRESTLING SHOWN: 4 matches, 23:35.
Posted on May 12, 2011, in WWE and tagged Beth Phoenix, Big Show, Chavo Guerrero, Chris Jericho, Chris Masters, Christian, CM Punk, Cody Rhodes, DH Smith, Dolph Ziggler, Drew McIntyre, Edge, Ezekiel Jackson, Goldust, Great Khali, Hart Dynasty, Hornswoggle, Jack Swagger, John Morrison, JTG, Kelly Kelly, Kofi Kingston, Layla, Luke Gallows, Matt Hardy, Michelle McCool, MVP, Natalya, R-Truth, Rey Mysterio, Rosa Mendez, Serena, Shad, Smackdown, Straight Edge Society, Teddy Long, Tyson Kidd, Vickie Guerrero. Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.