WWE Extreme Rules
April 25, 2010
Baltimore, MD
First Mariner Arena

The current WWE champs are as follows:
WWE Champion: John Cena (3/28/2010)
U.S. Champion: The Miz (10/5/2009)
Divas Champion: Eve (4/12/2010)
World Heavyweight Champion: Jack Swagger (4/2/2010)
Intercontinental Champion: Drew McIntyre (12/13/2009)
Women’s Champion: Michelle McCool (2/26/2010)
Unified Tag Team Champions: Big Show & The Miz (2/8/2010)

Your hosts are Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, and Matt Striker.

DANG. Triple H gets out of jerking that curtain with Sheamus by beating him in the back. Seems a little EXTREME to me. Sheamus stops the fight with his trusty lead pipe and the match is instantly postponed. Next match.

Back to the ring, ShowMiz wants to start off the PPV with an EXTREME level of excitement. Since there was a volcano that kept Miz and everybody else from Raw in NORTHERN Ireland, tomorrow night’s Raw will be the event where Bret Hart tells the world that ShowMiz is the greatest tag team in WWE history. ShowMiz is looking for some competition as Smackdown GM Teddy Long comes out to give them just that. Miz ain’t SKEERED because there is no competition in WWE. If he wanted mind-numbing incompetence, he would just go see an Orioles game. True dat, playa. Teddy Long doesn’t like it when white people talk and adds another team to the mix. He KEEPS talking about great ShowMiz is and Teddy adds ANOTHER team to take on ShowMiz. He continues to talk but before Teddy adds a FOURTH team, Show puts his hand on Miz’s mouth. Teddy says if ShowMiz defeats all three teams, then maybe they are the greatest tag team ever. If they don’t beat all three teams, the team that beats you gets a unified tag team titles shot tomorrow night on Raw. Gauntlet match, GO!

• WWE Unified Tag Team Champions ShowMiz vs. John Morrison & R-Truth – Match #1
  

Shouldn’t R-Truth still be blown up right now? We get a Miz and Morrison showdown to start. R-Truth tags in for some Rockers action with the double hiptoss followed by the STEREO KIP UPS! R-Truth does a big split and then legdrops Miz while Morrison delivers the standing SSP. Big Show tags in and slaps R-Truth around so he can turn the match back over to Miz. R-Truth battles out of a chinlock and hits Miz with a jumping leg lariat. HOT TAG TO MORRISON! Show runs into a boot in the corner and GOOZLES Morrison, but Morrison counters that into an illusion of a triangle choke and leans back down over the ropes. Obviously anything involving the ropes is illegal, but Morrison won’t break on the five count and the ref DQ’s him at 3:15. This was actually SHORTER than WrestleMania.

• WWE Unified Tag Team Champions ShowMiz vs. MVP & Mark Henry – Match #2
  

With Big Show down, MVP runs in for the cover on Show and gets two. Miz tags in, but runs into a clothesline for two. Henry takes over, but misses a corner charge. MVP tags back in for BALLIN. Big Show takes care of Mark Henry and charges MVP, but then MVP pulls the top rope down and out goes Big Show. PLAYMAKER to Miz! While the ref is with Henry, Big Show KNOCKS MVP THE F OUT from the floor. Miz crawls on top of MVP for the 1-2-3 at 1:56.

• WWE Unified Tag Team Champions ShowMiz vs. The Hart Dynasty (w/Natalya & Bret Hart) – Match #3
  

DH Smith boots Big Show off the apron and Miz eats the SPRINGBOARD HART ATTACK for the 1-2-3 at :12. You knew it was coming. Hart Dynasty get their Unified tag titles shot the next night at Raw. (5:23 total) Hard to rate a gauntlet match like this, but it was rather satisfying. *½

In the back, Todd Grisham is standing outside the ‘Trainer Room’ checking on the condition of Triple H. Sheamus shows up still carrying his lead pipe. Sheamus says that HHH should come out and face him, or admit defeat and lose by forfeit. Either way, Sheamus wins.

The barber chair is out and you know what’s next.

• CM Punk (w/Luke Gallows & Serena) vs. Rey Mysterio – If Punk Loses, He Gets His Head Shaved
  

Punk beats Rey down early on, but Mysterio takes over with a dropkick. They go to the floor where Rey tilt-a-whirl headscissors Punk face-first into the apron. Back inside, Punk cuts off the 6-1-9 with a GTS attempt, but Rey elbows out. Snap powerslam by Punk gets two. Punk dumps Rey on the floor as Serena gets a chance to put the boots to him. Back in, Punk hits a Hilo for two. Rey escapes a headscissors on the mat and rolls through a sunset flip to kick Punk in the head. Cover, 1-2-NO! Punk hangs Rey over the ropes and lets Gallows get in a shot. Rey wiggles out of a bow-and-arrow, but gets shut down with a clothesline for two. Series of legdrops off the ropes gets two. Gory Special (!!), but Rey armdrags out. Rey hits a headscissors out of the corner, but Punk trips him up top and puts Rey up on his shoulders for GTS! Not this time. Rey elbows out again and lucha armdrags Punk into the ropes for 6-1-9, but Serena grabs Rey by the ankle. It doesn’t trip Rey, but it’s enough to distract him as Punk nails Rey from behind. Apparently the ref saw what happened and orders both Gallows and Serena to the back. SUH-NAP! Punk can’t believe it! He heads out to the floor while taking his mind completely off Rey, who levels him with a baseball slide and an ASAI MOONSAULT! Back in, Rey DROPS THE DIME for 1-2-NO! He follows up with the Springboard Seated Senton, but Punk dropkicks a springboard crossbody attempt for two. Springboard Clothesline by Punk gets 1-2-NO! Punk launches Rey into the corner off a charge, but Mysterio catches himself and jumps back onto Punk’s shoulders. He wants to sunset flip Punk, but Punk BLOCKS with another GTS attempt. As he lifts Rey off his shoulders, Mysterio counters into a hurracanrana for 1-2-NO! Muay Thai Kick connects for 1-2-NO! Punk misses the Running Knee Strike in the corner and gets sent into the ropes for 6-1-9! This time he hits the move! BUT WAIT, a strange masked person comes up from under the ring and slides a chair into the ring. That takes of course the ref’s attention away. He goes back under the ring, comes out over where Rey is on the apron, reverse powerbombs Rey onto the floor, and then goes back into hiding! With a big smile on his face, Punk brings Mysterio back into the ring and gives his lifeless body the GTS for the 1-2-3. (15:59) Some people may not like CM Punk pulling out some Eddie Guerrero moves (Hilo and the Gory Special) to beat Rey, but I thought bringing out the Americanized lucha side of Rey was awesome because it added to the psychology of the match more than just doing it for the sake of a “tribute” or a cheap pop. Great drama and great action in this one even with the WCW ’94 style finish. This was way above their WrestleMania match. ***¾

Afterwards, CM Punk sits in the barber chair twirling his hair with that creepy grin and the Straight Edge Society surrounding him.

• JTG vs. Shad Gaspard – Strap Match

It takes REAL talent to make a strap match above the cliché. Let’s see if Cryme Tyme can pull it off. JTG whips Shad like he owes him money to start. Shad backdrops JTG to the apron and knocks him to the floor as they play tug of war over the top rope. JTG hotshots Shad to end all that. He taps a corner and comes off the second turnbuckle with a flying legdrop bulldog. He taps three corners and goes for the fourth, but Shad cuts him off. From here, Shad drags JTG over to a ringpost and raps at him while he’s whipping him. Back in the ring, Shad wraps JTG up and carries him on his back as he taps the turnbuckles. JTG taps the turnbuckle behind Shad’s back and when Shad goes for the fourth corner, he stops Shad with the SHOUT OUT and taps the fourth corner for the win. (4:42) Nope. This was a total strap match cliché. ½*

Still outside of the ‘Trainer Room’, Todd Grisham reports that Triple H has suffered a neck injury and he’s feeling numbness in his left arm. Thus he will not be competing tonight.

• World Heavyweight Champion Jack Swagger vs. Randy Orton – Extreme Rules Match

Mat stuff to start. It’s so EXTREME~! Swagger goes for a mounted punch in the corner, but Orton slips away and jumps up to the second rope to elbow Swagger down. HA! Inverted Backbreaker gets two. To the floor, Swagger finds a chair and Orton kicks it away. Back in, Swagger tries to kick Orton in the head and misses. Time to take a break, Jack. Orton walks over to him, but Swagger baits him in real good and throws him into the barricade. Swagger delivers a release Northern Lights suplex on the floor and backs Orton in the barricade and the ring apron a few times to really work the back. Back in, cover gets two. Orton fires away, but Swagger stops that with a belly to belly suplex. Swagger continues to suplex Orton and then runs him shoulder-first into the ringpost. He finds his championship belt and the satellite feed messes up. When it fixes itself, we’re back in the ring and Swagger ends Orton’s punches with a Rick Steiner powerslam for two. The championship belt is on the mat right in front of Orton as Swagger goes for the Pump Splash. While he’s in mid-air, Orton pops up and drives the championship belt into Swagger’s ribs as he’s on the way down! HERE COMES ORTON! Powerslam connects and he goes for the DDT through the ropes, but Swagger slips away and backdrops Orton over the top rope to the floor. Swagger finds a trashcan, but Orton beats him for it and bashes the trashcan over Swagger’s head. How about one more! Orton slams Swagger’s head on the announce table and then whips him HARD into the steel steps. With the top half separated from the bottom half of the steps, Orton STOMPS Swagger’s head on the bottom steps – several times. They were obviously worked stomps though if you paid attention. Back in, Orton delivers the Garvin Stomp, but misses the Knee Drop. Swagger brings a chair into the ring, but gets kicked through the ropes for the DDT! Orton drops to the mat to set up for the RKO and considers using the chair. He sets up the chair and decides to RKO Swagger on the chair, but Swagger shoves him off and Orton’s back falls on the chair! DANG. Being ever the amateur champion, Swagger gets rid of the chair and gives Orton the GUTWRENCH POWERBOMB for the 1-2-3. (13:47) Pretty good match considering the PG limitations. I liked how they showed Swagger’s inexperience in brawling while Orton EXCELS in these type of matches. And yet, Swagger stuck to what he knew and still won the match. Somehow, Swagger is already starting to grow on me as the world champion and I didn’t think it was possible. After the match is over, Orton gives Swagger the RKO at ringside just because he can. ***

Before Orton and Swagger even get to the locker room, Sheamus heads to the ring with his lead pipe in hand. He wants to be declared the winner over Triple H via forfeit. Back at the ‘Trainer Room’, Triple H storms out the door and pushes Grisham out of the way as he makes his way to the ring against the trainer’s advice.

• Triple H vs. Sheamus – Street Fight

HHH sells the left arm and beats Sheamus six ways from Sunday with his right arm. AA SPINEBUSTER with his one good arm! A PEDIGREE TOO? No, he can’t use his left arm. To the floor, Sheamus runs HHH’s left shoulder into the barricade a bunch. Back inside, Sheamus drops a bunch of knees on the neck as well. He armbars the left arm and then wrenches the neck with a chinlock, but HHH counters with a back suplex. HHH avoids a corner charge and Sheamus runs into the ringpost. DDT (USING THE LEFT ARM!) on Sheamus jars HHH’s neck as he can’t capitalize. Once Sheamus gets up, he delivers the Irish Curse for 1-2-NO! Running Powerslam scores a few more nearfalls. Sheamus finds the lead pipe, but HHH jabs him in the balls to stop that. Facebuster connects, but HHH charges into a lead pipe shot to the face! Back to the floor, Sheamus pulls out a kendo stick and gets tripped up into the steps. HHH beats Sheamus up the entrance ramp with the kendo stick and goes for the PEDIGREE, but Sheamus backdrops out. BICYCLE KICK! Sheamus brings HHH back into the ring and delivers another BICYCLE KICK! HHH won’t stay down and still manages a crotch chop in the corner. BRING IT, WHITEY! A THIRD BICYCLE KICK! One more BICYCLE KICK off the ropes and Sheamus covers Triple H for the 1-2-3. (15:50) Great selling from Triple H, but talk about protecting the guy. It took FOUR lethal kicks to beat him even with a supposed arm-numbing neck injury to beat him. Sheesh. Way to ‘put him over’, Hunter. After the match, Triple H absolutely refuses medical assistance because that’s what you do when you’re EXTREME. For doing so, Sheamus BICYCLE KICKS him down again at the top of the ramp. Now HHH has no choice but to ride the stretcher to the locker room. **½

• WWE Women’s Champion Michelle McCool (w/Layla & Vickie Guerrero) vs. Beth Phoenix – Extreme Makeover Match

It’s basically like the Jarrett-Chyna ‘Good Housekeeping’ match with not just woman weapons like ironing boards and brooms, but makeup as well. Phoenix does an AWESOME float over in the corner into a rolling clutch pin for two. Never seen that before. To the floor we go, Layla tries to break a broom over Phoenix and fails. As Beth steps away to chase her off, McCool finds some hair spray and that goes right in Beth’s face. McCool swings an ironing board at Phoenix for two. She places the ironing board on Beth’s chest and DOUBLE STOMPS the board. That’s EXTREME~! Out comes an iron, but that’s too extreme. Phoenix rolls up McCool for two. She dropkicks the board back on McCool and ducks some hair spray as Layla and Vickie take it in the face. Phoenix puts McCool on the makeup table and turns that over. Back in, Phoenix beats McCool with a BUCKET for two. McCool shoves off a superplex onto some ironing boards for two. Phoenix avoids the FAITH BREAKER and hits the GLAM SLAM for the 1-2-3. (6:36) Seemed like they went for the finish out of nowhere there. They didn’t even use the makeup other than to turn the table over. They need to give them 10-15 minutes without a silly stipulation to rely on to see what they can do though. *½

• Chris Jericho vs. Edge – Cage Match

Jericho won’t enter the cage which means Edge has to beat him down on the floor to get this match going. Jericho tries several times to escape to start, but Edge intercepts him every time. Edge rakes Jericho’s face in the cage and tries for a SPEAR, but Jericho moves and Edge eats the cage. With Edge crawling down the apron, Jericho gives him a springboard dropkick into the cage. Edge backdrops Jericho into the cage to come back and then hits a Flapjack. Jericho hits Edge with the bulldog and tries the Lionsault, but Edge moves away. Jericho seizes the moment and runs to the OTHER side of the cage to climb out. He reaches the top of the cage, but Edge brings him back onto the top rope. Edge goes for a kick, but Jericho catches his foot and drives him down to the mat to lock in the WALLS OF JERICHO! AWESOME. Edge reaches the ropes, but there’s no DQ in a cage. Edge has to climb up the ropes to break out of the hold. Edge bounces Jericho off the cage for the Edge O Matic for two. Edge avoids the Walls of Jericho and boots him down. He feeling the SPEAR, but Jericho slides out the door. With Edge grabbing hold of Jericho’s legs, Jericho still manages to reach the floor with his hands and pulls a chair into the ring. As Edge tosses the chair into the cage, Jericho slams the door in Edge’s face. He starts to walk down the ring steps to win the match, but decides to do more damage. Jericho grabs the chair and waits for Edge to stand up, but he misses the chairshot and takes the SPEAR! Cover, 1-2-NO! Jericho pops up with the CODEBREAKER and the slow cover gets 1-2-NO! He tries another cover and still only gets a two-count. Edge stops another climb out by Jericho, but then he gets crotched on the top rope. Jericho makes it to the other side of the cage, but Edge gets back up on the top rope and grabs Jericho through the rim of the cage. They trade punches as they sit on the upper rim and slowly head back into the cage. As Edge sits on the top rope, Jericho delivers a SPRINGBOARD CODEBREAKER! Well that was cool. Another slow cover from Jericho gets 1-2-NO! Now Jericho goes after the ankle and tries a chairshot, but Edge moves his foot at the last second. Edge sends Jericho into all four sides of the cage. He whips Jericho into the corner and Jericho uses his own momentum to climb up the turnbuckle and hopefully out of the cage. Edge intercepts Jericho again and yells “NOW IT ENDS” in his ear. He smashes Jericho’s head into the rim of the cage and as Jericho crawls towards the door, Edge slams the door on Jericho’s ankle. Jericho starts to beg off while Edge tries to break his ankle. SPEAR by Edge gets the 1-2-3. (20:00) Some innovative moves in this one made it stand out. I would have liked to have seen Edge descend more into his crazy ankle-breaking character though. ***½

• WWE Champion John Cena vs. Batista – Last Man Standing Match

John Cena seems content being John Cena to start, but Batista tries to stop that with a chair. It doesn’t work though. Batista has to run Cena shoulder-first into the ringpost to slow him down. Batista takes Cena to school by working on the leg. It makes perfect sense. He tries getting the ten-count with clotheslines and a suplex, but Cena keeps getting up at around the four second mark. On the floor, Batista takes a ride into the steps. Back in, Batista grabs a figure-four, but Cena reverses. Double-KO ensues, but Cena fights to his feet with a series of shoulderblocks. Protobomb sets up the Five Knuckle Shuffle. Batista bails and finds a turnbuckle connector from under the ring to stop Cena. Back in, he’s got a chair with him. He charges Cena, but runs right into the ATTITUDE ADJUSTMENT. Too bad he dropped that chair right where he landed. That gets a nine-count and as Cena ascends to the top, Batista pushes the ref into the ropes to crotch him up. Spear by Batista won’t put him down, so Batista gives him another one. He makes it up to his feet at eight. Batista finds a table and props it up in the corner, but Cena trips him up for the STF. Not today. Batista kicks Cena off into the table. Cena takes an eight count and rolls out to the floor. Batista follows him out and drives him back first into the ringpost! Batista has enough by the seven count and whips Cena THROUGH part of the barricade. Cena staggers up at nine and then holds himself up thanks to the part of the barricade that isn’t broken. Now Batista sets up the announce table and brings the ring steps over by the table. He’s looking for the BATISTA BOMB, but Cena counters and puts Batista through the table with the ATTITUDE ADJUSTMENT! Batista forgets to be up by the ten count, but the ref says he’s on his feet even though he’s clearly on a knee by the barricade. Cena is CLEARLY pissed. He sets up a table in the ring and goes for the ATTITUDE ADJUSTMENT, but Batista shoves him off and puts Cena through the table with the SPINEBUSTER. Cena is up at nine. He collapses though when he steps away from the ropes. Now Batista grabs him for the BATISTA BOMB, but again Cena is up at nine. Batista brings the bottom half of the stairs into the ring, but Cena trips him up for the STF. Batista grabs the ropes, but it makes no difference here. However, Cena releases the hold and Batista is back on his feet with the help of the ropes at the count of nine. With Batista propped up in the corner, Cena trips him up and duct tapes his legs around the ringpost! There’s no way for Batista to break the duct tape and since he is down on the mat, the ref counts to ten and Cena picks up the win. (24:34) The old adage continues to ring true: duct tape fixes everything. I’ve never seen a bad Last Man Standing match from Cena and this was no different. Not a classic, but a fun match. We all thought it would be Batista’s final match with the WWE, but after what happened on Raw it seems they have somehow come to terms. ***½

Final Thoughts: The WrestleMania rematches range from very good to decent, but nothing greater than what they did at WrestleMania except for Punk-Mysterio. I’m giving Extreme Rules 2010 a ‘thumbs in the middle’ meaning that it was entertaining, but not an absolute must-see for those who buy/rent/download only the good PPVs these days.