TNA: iMPACT! (12.31.05)

impact05

TNA: iMPACT
December 31, 2005
Orlando, FL
Universal Studios

The current TNA champs are as follows:
NWA World Champion: Jeff Jarrett (11/3/2005)
NWA World Tag Team Champions: America’s Most Wanted (10/22/2005)
TNA X-Division Champion: Samoa Joe (12/11/2005)

Your hosts are Mike Tenay and Don West.


Before we get started, Bullet Bob Armstrong is still determined to get 3LK back together. He wasn’t successful with Ron Killings, but maybe Konnan will listen to him.

  • Monty Brown & Jeff Jarrett (w/Gail Kim) vs. Kenny King & Shark Boy

That dirty whore Jackie Gayda jumps the rail and confronts Jarrett on his way to the ring. Gail Kim doesn’t seem to mind. Security escorts her out of here. King gets the POUNCE while Shark Boy takes the STROKE. Double pin ends these two at 2:04. Don West leaves to find out what’s up with Jackie Gayda. The lights flicker again and Sting’s music plays to get inside Jarrett’s head.

Backstage, Don West grills Jackie Gayda while she’s being held by security. Seriously, can you imagine having that goof ask you a bunch of stupid questions that are really none of his business? She tells Don it’s not a lover’s quarrel, but that Jeff Jarrett lied to her about a business deal. Jarrett promised her a TNA deal and then sees Gail Kim taking her spot. She tells Jeff that she wants her money she was promised or she will tell TNA management some information they would love to have. Don wants to know what that vital piece of information is, but why would she tell you?! Think about it. YOU’RE THE WORST, DON. The worst.

  • Rhino vs. A-1 (w/Scott D’Amore)

Another week to use Team Canada as jobber fodder. GORE! GORE! GORE! (2:25) Afterwards, Scott D’Amore provides some distraction as ABYSS comes out and plants Rhino with a Chokeslam. BLACK HOLE SLAM too! Once the dust settles, James Mitchell and D’Amore shake hands.

Backstage, Bullet Bob meets with Konnan. Konnan isn’t willing to budge until Bullet Bob appeals to his softer side and reminds him of all the good things he’s done for him. Bullet Bob still believes that 3LK can get back together. All they need to fix this is communication! Bullet Bob and Konnan walk away with their arms around each other.

  • TNA X-Division Champion Samoa Joe vs. Roderick Strong

Joe’s bloody towel is starting to turn brown now. It has less of an impact (no pun intended) and it’s just starting to get gross. Shannon Moore still feels the X-Division needs to get punk’d. Meanwhile, Dave Hebner is on the ramp again. Tenay tells us he’s hired here as a consultant. Neither Tenay nor West knows what he’s consulting about. Anyways, Joe is brutalizing Strong over here with a straight jacket-type camel clutch. Strong mounts a comeback with a Half Nelson Backbreaker, but gets cut off with STJoe. MUSCLE BUSTER leads to the COQUINA CLUTCH for the win. (3:15) Wait a minute, something is going on backstage! *½

It looks like Konnan and a pair of Latin hoodlums are beating the crap out of Bullet Bob! He’s a 66 year old man, you a-holes! Regardless of Puerto Rican versus Mexican, Apolo and Homicide have joined Konnan. They don’t want to kill the guy – just want to send a message. Tenay – “DISGUSTING!” Okay, next segment.

  • AJ Styles vs. James Storm (w/Chris Harris & Gail Kim)

AJ fights out of a headlock and drills Storm with the Best Dropkick in the Business to send us to commercial. AND WE’RE BACK. Storm stuns AJ with the EYE OF THE STORM, which allows him to take over. He looks for the LAST CALL, but AJ ducks and lands the Pele Kick. Series of clotheslines and the Asai DDT gets two. Storm jawbreakers AJ and puts him up top for a superplex. AJ shoves down Storm, but Harris grabs his leg. While Harris and the ref discuss the gold standard as it pertains to the history of American economics, Styles hits a flying body press on Storm. Gail Kim tries to interfere with the flying headscissors like Lita used to do, but Styles catches her in mid-air and really wants to give her the STYLES CLASH. Unfortunately, Storm breaks a beer bottle over AJ’s head. LAST CALL gets the win. (6:34 shown) Afterwards, Christopher Daniels heads down to complain to the ref about the MILLION PIECES OF GLASS IN THE RING. Larry Zbyszko even heads out, but we’ll have to stick through a commercial break to find out why. **

When we return, Larry Z announces that AJ Styles and Christopher Daniels will join forces to battle America’s Most Wanted – TONIGHT AT MIDNIGHT. Yes, Spike TV aired another episode of Impact at 12 midnight with the idea that TNA could say they are the first wrestling company to air a show in 2006 before those losers over at WWE. Why they would think anyone would give a crap about that, I don’t know. Styles and Daniels shake hands. Louie, I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship. Just as I say that, AMW leaves Styles and Daniels laying until Christian Cage saves the day and chases AMW and Gail Kim away with a chair.

Oh yeah, and the official announcement of Sting signing with TNA occurs at midnight as well, because an announcement you deem important needs to be shared when no one will be watching. Yep.

Until next time, HAPPY NEW YEAR. It’s finally 2006.

final_res_06

TNA presents Final Resolution LIVE on January 15 from Universal Studios in Orlando, FL. Here is the card as it appears as of 12/31/05:

MAIN EVENT: Nothing announced
TNA X-Division Championship: Samoa Joe (c) vs. Christopher Daniels
Raven vs. Larry Zbyszko’s special opponent

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