Lucha Underground
March 4, 2015
Los Angeles, CA
The Temple

Over in Dario Cueto’s office, he offers Alberto El Patron his first match in Lucha Underground. AEP wants Texano, but Cueto feels he needs a warm-up first; perhaps Ricky Mandel or Famous B. Nah, he wants Texano. Cueto needs time to promote something that big. How about Son of Havoc? El Patron violently clears everything off Cueto’s desk and makes himself perfectly clear. Tonight: Alberto El Patron versus Texano. Seeming a little nervous, Cueto finally grants El Patron his match. After El Patron leaves, Cueto picks up his red bull off the floor and stares at it. EPIC MAIN EVENT~!

What’s with all these hipster bands showing up on Lucha Underground? I don’t care about Mariachi El Bronx or Amandititita. I care less about these people than I do about the guys who showed up to perform at WrestleMania this year.

Your hosts are Matt Striker and Brother Vampiro.

• Mil Muertes vs. Fenix
  

This is the rubber match between these two. Catrina is clearly conspicuous by her absence here. Muertes comes out to meet Fenix and gets drilled with a headscissors off the banister. Muertes doesn’t want to go into the ring, so Fenix superkicks him inside the ring. Beautiful springboard legdrop by Fenix gets two. Muertes fires back with a bunch of elbows and hits a nasty DDT. TKO gets two. Fenix fights out of a rear naked choke, but runs right into one of those epic right hands from Muertes. LOOK WHO IT IS. Catrina – possibly the most gorgeous woman in the world of wrestling – comes down the stairs with the Aztec stone in her hand. Well, her presence clearly gets Muertes to take his attention off the match. To the floor we go, Fenix hits him with a fancy springboard moonsault plancha. Muertes tries to take back control, but Fenix floats back inside and catches Muertes with a cutter for two. Muertes stops Fenix up top though and brings him down with a SUPER CODEBREAKER. I think it was anyway. FLATLINER though ends this one for Fenix. (5:47) Muertes wants Catrina to give Fenix the lick of death. When she refuses, the Aztec stone falls into the ring as Muertes pulls her into the ring by the throat! After Muertes throws her back into a corner, Fenix picks up the stone and whacks Muertes. The man still doesn’t go down, so Fenix puts him down with a roundhouse kick. Fenix embraces his lady, who retrieves the stone and then gives Muertes the LICK OF DEATH from the belly up to his mask! When it looks like it’s time to go, Catrina grabs Fenix and gives him a huge smooch. Yep, she’s the hottest now. Sorry, Layla. Muertes won the battle, but Fenix won the war, it appears. No doubt; these two will meet again. ***

Konnan: Revenge is Coming.

Back in Dario Cueto’s office, Ivelisse has Angelico and Son of Havoc behind her and she wants a Lucha Underground title shot because she has beaten Angelico and because she’s the BADDEST BITCH IN THIS BUILDING. Dario does not feel those are good enough reasons for a title shot. No offense, Angelico. If Ivelisse wants to prove she’s a tough competitor in his temple, Cueto makes a rematch between Ivelisse and Angelico with Son of Havoc as special referee. Cueto says he hopes Son of Havoc can control his woman inside the ring as well as she controls him out of it. SUH-NAP.

Elsewhere, Alberto El Patron approaches Prince Puma while he’s working out. He tells Puma that if he wants to survive, he needs to man up and get angry when he faces Cage. Alberto pats him on the back because if Puma retains the Lucha Underground title against Cage, he plans on being his next opponent. After Alberto walks away, Puma kicks the punching bag in frustration.

• Sexy Star vs. Big Ryck
  

Big Ryck is about a hand sign away from being DDP in 1995. He doesn’t want to fight a girl and takes a few moves, but nowhere close to getting beat. Ryck grabs Sexy Star for the URANAGE, but Ryck puts her down on the mat and holds her shoulders down for the three-count at 1:57. Afterwards, the Crew attack both Ryck and Sexy Star. While Sexy Star can’t hang, Big Ryck can. He even takes off the eye patch! Big Ryck gets the better of the Crew as they bail while Sexy Star licks her wounds in the corner.

Nice video package on the history and legacy of Alberto El Patron. He is here in Lucha Underground to show he is the best luchadore on the planet – and he dares anyone to try and hold him back.

• Alberto El Patron vs. Texano
  

Just a reminder: this a non-title match. Crazy how much Texano resembles Silver King from when he was in WCW. Headlocks and shoulderblocks to start with Alberto in control. Texano bails out so he can bait Alberto out and stomp him on the way back inside the ring. El Patron fires back with an unexpected headscissors and an enziguri to the gut in the corner. DIEZ RECUENTO PUNCH IN THE CORNER from El Patron. Texano takes a ride to the floor and gets wiped out with a tope suicida! Alberto tries a whip into the barricade, but Texano reverses and then drops him with a DDT. To make things worse, Texano posts Alberto. Back in, Texano looks to slow the match down a bit with a few rest holds. There’s some nice transition between the two. When he works the arm, Texano sends Alberto’s shoulder into the post. Texano gets caught up top though and brought down with a superplex. They both stand up punching one another. Alberto wins that exchange with a clothesline and then lands a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker. The Backstabber follows from El Patron for 1-2-NO! Low superkick gets countered to a Spinebuster by Texano for two. With Alberto draped up in the corner, Texano unties a turnbuckle pad to keep the ref busy while he wraps his bull rope around his fist to punch on El Patron’s head. Texano looks for a superplex, but El Patron pushes him down into the tree of woe where he gives Texano the double stomp! VINTAGE ALBERTO EL PATRON! It could be CROSS ARMBREAKER time, but Texano scouts the hold and hoists El Patron up for a sitout powerbomb for 1-2-NO! Alberto shoots up with an armbreaker using the knees. With Texano on his knees, El Patron catches him with a superkick for 1-2-NO! Texano retrieves the bull rope and goes to whack Alberto, but Alberto knocks that away and hits a tornado DDT. He could go for the Cross Armbreaker, but whipping Texano with the bull rope will be more fun even though he gets DQ’ed. (12:19) You can always expect a solid match out of Alberto Del Rio and he delivered here. I always thought he would have made a GREAT, STRONG, long-term Intercontinental champion with a mid-card division built around him in WWE instead of a main event guy. I’m thinking Don Muraco, Greg Valentine, Mr. Perfect type comparisons as an IC champion. ***¼

Over in Dario Cueto’s office, he and King Cuerno are talking. Cuerno should really not wear a cowboy hat. He looks ridiculous! Anyways, all you need to know is that Cuerno will face Johnny Mundo in a STEEL CAGE~! next week. When it’s all over, Cuerno will mount Mundo’s head on Dario’s wall. EPIC.

NEXT WEEK: Cuerno vs. Mundo – STEEL CAGE. Plus, Ivelisse gets her sexy hands on Angelico with her not-so-sexy loser boyfriend Son of Havoc as special referee!