WWE: Smackdown (03.03.16)


WWE: Smackdown
March 3, 2016
Atlanta, GA
Philips Arena

The current WWE champions are as follows:
WWE World Heavyweight Champion: Triple H (1/24/2016)
WWE Intercontinental Champion: Kevin Owens (2/15/2016)
WWE United States Champion: Kalisto (1/24/2016)
WWE Tag Team Champions: The New Day (8/23/2015)
WWE Divas Champion: Charlotte (9/20/2015)

Your hosts are Mauro Ranallo, Jerry Lawler, and Byron Saxton.

As we say here in the south, Dean Ambrose looks rode hard and put up wet after the abuse he suffered at the hands of the WWE champ Triple H back on Monday Night Raw. He takes a seat in the ring because his body is now just one big bruise. Ambrose talks about how he likes to live life by the seat of his pants. Sometimes it works out fine, sometimes it doesn’t. While it may seem like this past Monday didn’t work out for him, now he has a shot at the WWE title. If he wins, he’ll be defending the WWE title at WrestleMania. He ponders whether he should give Roman Reigns a title shot at WrestleMania or should he get more revenge on Brock Lesnar. Will he be fighting Triple H too? Maybe there will be a cage match with all four of them and just see what happens. WHO KNOWS. Ambrose has thrown a wrench into the whole plan. Well, Kevin Owens interrupts. He’s sick of hearing about Ambrose’s plans for WrestleMania because he doesn’t have a match yet for KO-Mania as it were. Ambrose gives him some advice that maybe he should challenge some people or make something happen on his own. If he challenges Brock Lesnar, Ambrose recommends wearing a helmet. Owens starts insulting Ambrose, but Ambrose is too bruised and battered to punch Owens in the face. When Owens tries to jump him from behind, Ambrose sees it coming (because there’s a TitanTron directly in front of him) and whacks Owens with his chair to send him rolling to the floor. Even though Ambrose is pretty sore, he challenges Owens to a fight. Owens decides to fight another day and heads to the back. I think we’ve found our main event, folks.

  • Rusev & Sheamus (w/Alberto Del Rio & King Barrett) vs. The Usos

After Jimmy gains control of Sheamus, Jey tags in and quickly gets thrown to the wolves on the outside as Sheamus throws him into the barricade. The League of Nations celebrate as we go into commercial. When we come back, Sheamus rips open Jey’s shirt and pounds on his chest. Rusev gets a little too liberal with teasing Jey getting a tag to Jimmy, so Jey hits him with a Hurricane DDT and hot tags Jimmy. Buttalanche on Sheamus gets two. The match breaks down and Jey planchas onto Barrett and Del Rio. Jimmy wipes out Rusev with a tope suicida. Sheamus runs and jumps off the steps into a superkick from Jimmy. Back inside, the Superfly Splash hits knees setting up the BROGUE KICK for the win. (6:10 shown) If I’m booking Shinsuke Nakamura, I’m bringing him up NXT and putting him in the League of Nations to become the breakout babyface star. Just my two cents. **

The Dudley Boyz come down carrying a table to the ring to get them a piece of the Usos. While Jey gets ran into the ringpost, Jimmy is left along to get bullied by both Dudleys. The table is set up, but never used because REASONS.

Last Monday on Raw, Stephanie McMahon got really mad and threw a temper tantrum when people started chanting for her brother. Shane McMahon will return to Raw LIVE this coming Monday night.

  • Dolph Ziggler vs. The Miz

Thank you Cricket Wireless and Dolph Ziggler. Hard to take these two seriously when they were on the debut show on WWE Network on a road trip being total BFFs. Since Miz pinned Ziggler in 1:05 on Raw, Ziggler turns around beats Miz with a backslide in just 0:48. Now beat that, guy.

Meanwhile in the back, R-Truth and Goldust are at catering and Truth comes over to talk to Goldust. He apologizes for what he said on Raw and wants to form the tag team Golden Truth. Goldust doesn’t seem to buy his sincerity and smashes his food in his own face. WHAT. This is turning into a romantic comedy or something.

  • Sasha Banks vs. Becky Lynch

They try again at this #1 contenders match for the Divas title thing. That double-pin finish from Raw was pretty terrible, right? You bet it was. Why not just bring back time limit draws instead? They get real serious and tight with the lockup to start. More strong preliminary stuff like headlocks and armdrags as well. Becky goes for the arm which makes sense. Sasha walks the ropes and armdrags Becky away. Even though she uses the arm Becky was working on, Sasha makes sure to sell a little bit. They trade quick pins and try dropkicks at the same time. In the middle of this match, WWE Divas champ Charlotte and her daddy Ric Flair come down to get a closer look from ringside. Commercials! WOO! When we return, Sasha is in control pulling back on Becky’s arms. Becky mounts a comeback and hits an Exploder for two. She delivers a series of legdrops, but misses a seated senton and Sasha pounces on her knees first and rolls up Becky for 1-2-NO! BANK STATEMENT is applied, but Becky reaches the bottom rope. The DISARM-HER is blocked and Sasha gives Becky a pair of double knees in the corner for two. Becky catches Sasha charging and (sort of) lands the Very European Uppercut for 1-2-NO! After a slugfest, they head to the floor where they clothesline each other. Flair gets up out of his seat and starts slapping his biceps and WOO’ing at the girls. When Sasha and Becky stand up, they turn their attentions to Flair and get blindsided by Charlotte for the no-contest finish. (8:42 shown) Charlotte continues to do a number on Banks and Lynch while her daddy just stands there and does his thing. Still no number one contender, but I think we all knew it was heading to a triple-threat match right? I mean, RIGHT? **½

When we come back, Renee Young asks Charlotte and Ric Flair why her father got involved in this match. Charlotte finds that ridiculous and says neither Sasha Banks nor Becky Lynch deserve to face her at WrestleMania. She’s beating Becky twice in Divas title matches and what has Sasha Banks ever done? Charlotte thinks Renee needs to do her job better. Renee then drops a bomb on her announcing that it has been decided that Charlotte will defend the Divas championship at WrestleMania in a triple-threat match against Sasha Banks and Becky Lynch. The Flairs really have nothing to say to that and walk away with their heads down. WOO!

They re-air the interaction between Vince McMahon and the Undertaker from this past Monday on Raw. For more details, look elsewhere.

  • AJ Styles vs. Kofi Kingston (w/Big E & Xavier Woods)

Well, this could be good. AJ runs Xavier off the apron to start. Kofi tries a pearl harbor, but AJ sees it coming and rolls him up for two. There’s a backbreaker out of the corner and AJ hits the leapfrog-dropdown-dropkick. Xavier starts blowing his trombone. Styles won’t stand for it and grabs the horn only for Kofi to nail him from behind. AJ elbows Kofi away and wipes out Xavier with a pescado. Big E grabs his attention allowing Kingston to dropkick AJ through the ropes into the announce table. Commercials! When we come back, Kingston is still in control and does his own Unicorn Stampede. NEW! DAY! ROCKS! AJ escapes a chinlock with a jawbreaker, but gets clipped in the front. From the top rope, Kofi flies down to only get caught in a backdrop. Whoa. Here comes AJ with all kinds of forearm smashes. The fireman’s carry neckbreaker across the knee gets two. Of course, Mauro Ranallo references Hirooki Goto. Kicks are traded, but Kofi lands the S.O.S. for 1-2-NO! AJ ducks Trouble in Paradise and hits the Pele Kick. Styles charges Kofi and takes a backdrop to the floor. Xavier helps him up and acts like he’s going to whack AJ with his trombone, but gets caught by the ref. He ejects both Big E and Xavier to the locker room. During the confusion, AJ surprises Kofi with the springboard forearm smash and covers him for the win. (6:25 shown) Afterwards, Styles gets away from the New Day. Ranallo reminds us that Y2AJ will challenge the New Day this Monday night on Raw for the WWE tag titles. **½

They announce Brock Lesnar versus Bray Wyatt for Roadblock.

With that said, we go to Bray Wyatt and his Wyatt Family. He preaches blasphemy at Brock Lesnar. Where he comes from, beasts bow to Bray. And soon, so will you. RUN.

The Fabulous Freebirds will be inducted in the WWE Hall of Fame. It’s about time, but hey Koko B. Ware must come first. Right?

  • Kevin Owens vs. Dean Ambrose

We can tell Ambrose has his ribs taped ala DDP 1997 under that wife beater. Owens has enough of Dean trying to work a headlock on the mat and starts jabbing him in the gut. Oh, but then Ambrose is able to mount up the core strength to do a floatover in the corner. Good grief. A failed Dirty Deeds attempt takes us into commercial. When we come back, Ambrose misses a leap off the top and rolls up to his feet. It hurts though. Owens shoulder rams him in the corner and then delivers a senton back splash for two. He applies an abdominal stretch on the mat and jabs him in the ribs, but of course Ambrose still gets up and hiptosses Owens over. Ugh, I hate this match. Owens throws Ambrose to the floor and gives him another senton back splash. Owens tries for a countout win, but doesn’t get it. He throws Dean into the barricade and tries to throw him back inside, but Ambrose spins on the apron and comes back at Owens with a clothesline. It gets worse too. Ambrose fires back on Owens and throws him out for the TOPE SUICIDA. YES, A SUICIDE DIVE. Back in, Owens crotches Ambrose up top and gives him the cannonball splash down in the corner. Cover, 1-2-NO! OF COURSE HE KICKS OUT. Ambrose avoids a superplex and hits the flying elbow smash for two. Owens rolls out and Ambrose wants another tope suicida, but Owens catches him and runs Ambrose into the apron. Ambrose makes it back in the ring while Owens it ripping apart the announce table. Finishers attempts are traded, but Ambrose counters the Pop-Up Powerbomb with a freaking hurracanrana. Superkick by Owens, but the running senton back splash hits knees. DIRTY DEEDS! Cover, 1-2-3! (11:12 shown) This is the same problem I have with New Japan. You can’t just “sell an injury” and still perform the same match you usually do when you are completely healthy. It doesn’t make you appear “tougher”, it just makes wrestling look phony. Not to mention you have just told the audience that a healthy IC champ can’t defeat a beaten down, bruised up, battered Dean Ambrose. So what does that do for Kevin Owens? It doesn’t make him look like a credible champion. No wonder he doesn’t yet have a match for WrestleMania because his title doesn’t seem to mean anything. Also, it’s not like Dean Ambrose is actually going to beat Triple H at Roadblock and win the WWE title and main event WrestleMania to become the top guy in the company. That isn’t where any of this is heading. You all know it, too. Ugh, I just can’t even. *½



Posted on March 4, 2016, in WWE and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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