Lucha Underground on El Rey Network (04.06.16)
April 6, 2016
Los Angeles, CA
The current Lucha Underground champs are as follows:
Lucha Underground Champion: Matanza (3/23/16)
Lucha Underground Gift of the Gods Champion: Vacant (3/16/16)
Lucha Underground Trios Champions: Son of Havoc, Ivelisse & Angelico (3/16/16)
In case you missed last week, here are some highlights:
NOW ONTO THIS WEEK:
Dario Cueto approaches Vampiro in the bathroom. CAN’T THIS MAN GET A MOMENT’S PEACE? Everything inside of Vampiro wants to bash Cueto’s head in and go find his brother Matanza. Dario admits that Matanza went too far when he beat up Pentagon Jr last week. They are both lucky Pentagon Jr is still alive, but lay a hand on him or Matanza and Vamp won’t be so lucky. Dario calls Vamp “practically the voice of Lucha Underground” and needs him out here doing commentary for the big main event tonight. He advises Vamp not to make the same mistake as Pentagon Jr by attacking him. Vamp turns back to the sink and downs a bunch of his anti-psychotic pills he got from the ward.
Meanwhile on “Starsky and Hutch” or let’s call them “Ryan and Reyes”, the lady police captain (how adorable!) thanks detective Joey Ryan for finding Dario Cueto. Ricky Reyes speaks up and says Joey didn’t have anything to do with finding Dario Cueto – the man just “showed up”. Reyes points out that Dario’s brother is in the Temple and he’s loose. Ryan thinks Reyes sounds scared. The police captain wants them to bring her some evidence to build the case against Dario Cueto. She even suggests they tag team him if they have to. Speaking of tag teams, Joey tells us Dario is so impressed with him that he entered him into the trios tournament with his serious police partner Reyes and Mr. Cisco. She tells them to win those trios titles if it means getting closer to Cueto.
HIPSTER BAND OF THE WEEK: El Conjunto Nueva Ola. They are wear wrestling masks!
Your hosts are Matt Striker and Vampiro.
- Ivelisse vs. Kobra Moon
The undefeated Kobra Moon is all about slithering and using her limbs to put you down. She even *hisses*during the match. Ivelisse tries to work the arm. Kobra slips out and locks in a headscissors, but Ivelisse stands up and powerbombs Kobra down for two. Ivelisse delivers some of her PISSED OFFENSE. However, she charges into a hanging headscissors in the corner. Big knee from the apron gets two. Another hanging hold in the corner by Kobra. She delivers a butterfly suplex and holds on for a guillotine. Ivelisse fights up and gives Kobra a northern lights suplex for two. Now even Ivelisse is flipping back over into a guillotine submission. Luckily for Kobra, she slithers to the ropes. The Petey Williams Russian Legsweep on Kobra slows things down. Ivelisse wins a battle of strikes and gives Kobra an exploder suplex for 1-2-NO! Gory Bomb by Kobra gets 1-2-NO! Ivelisse strikes back and puts down Kobra with Code Red for the win. (6:30) No follow-up or post-match angle here. Just a decent win for Ivelisse. There was some noticeable editing in this one. **¼
We get a personality profile on Killshot. He was a sniper in the Marines and earned the nickname with 37 confirmed kills – all bad guys or so they told him. Since he was good with his hands, he was put into an elite squad going into hostile territories. His team was captured (Donald Trump no longer respects you now!), but he escaped and found his way back home. He fights a different kind of war now. In Lucha Underground, he fights to forget. Who is Killshot? He’s a man with no identity. All that’s left is his killer instinct. He hopes his brothers will one day find their way back too. So he just LEFT THEM THERE?
Famous B comes upon Mascarita Sagrada working out. He thinks Sagrada is a real talent and wants to him a HUUUUGE star. Give him a call: 423-GET-FAME. Hit him up, Mascarita.
Elsewhere in the gym, The Mack comes and asks Sexy Star to second him tonight in his trios tournament match. He really could use her support. At first she doesn’t want to be near Mariposa and Marty the Moth, but she summons up some mental, emotional, and physical strength after some very impressive bicep curls!
- First Round Trios Tournament Match: Joey Ryan, Cortez Castro & Cisco vs. Mariposa, Marty the Moth, and the Mack
This is already feeling like a WCW Battlebowl tournament, amirite? Dusty Rhodes is alive and well, baby! My boy Mack gets some love from this audience. He looks up at Marty flapping his wings and probably thinking these white people are CRAZY. Who can blame him? Ryan makes Cisco face the Mack to start. They bump fists and get it going here. Mack puts down Cisco with a shoulder block, but then Cisco gets crazy and delivers a flying lucha armdrag. Mack does a headstand in the corner and armdrags Cisco over. We have a RON FUNCHES sighting. He’s a lovely man. Some lucha style headscissors and armdrags are traded here. I’m loving it. Cisco actually gets some cheers from the crowd for once. Alright, now we get Joey and Mariposa. Joey rubs his blow pop all over his chest hair and hands it to the ref. No respect shown whatsoever between these two. Mariposa delivers the rope walk armdrag and headscissors Joey down for 1-2-NO! She dropkicks the knee and plants a kick on the back of his head. Tag to Marty, Joey dropkicks him in the face and tags Cortez. (Sort of) blind tag to Cisco, he slides through the ropes kicking Marty in the face along the way. Cisco tries a springboard and gets kicked down by Mariposa. He tags his sister and plants her on top of Cisco for two. After some misses and counters, Mariposa finally lands a dropkick to the face. Lots of kicks in this one. Back to Marty, he stalks Cisco and sends him into the corner with an exploder. That gets two. Cisco finds a way out of a cravat and drops Marty with a reverse neckbreaker to set up the hot tag to Castro. Tornado DDT gets two. Joey intercepts a tag intended for Cisco while Mack blind tags Marty. He is a HOUSE OF FIRE on Joey. Jumping legdrop gets two. Samoan drop, kip-up, and standing moonsault gets 1-2-NO! The match breaks down as Team Mariposa cleans house. While Marty gets pulled to the floor, Mariposa stops the Mack from flying on top of them. Not going to take that one lightly, he pushes her off the apron onto Marty. With her out of the way, Mack does a somersault plancha onto everybody. Back inside, Marty blind tags Mack. They start slapping each other culminating into a STONE COLD STUNNER on Marty! Cisco and Castro deliver the double-team code breaker they have been doing that I know has a name that alludes me at this moment. Joey jumps onto Marty for the pinfall. (8:31) Well that was tons of fun. Afterwards, Sexy Star saves Mariposa from beating up the Mack. She summons up enough courage to do a number on Mariposa until finally her brother Marty pulls her out to safety. She realizes that what she was afraid wasn’t worth being afraid of all along. Striker makes sure to tell us they have a “professional” relationship here. I’m getting a Rey and Finn vibe from these two, Matt. She’s all about being a strong independent woman and Mack will go along with that, but he would tap that if she gave him the chance. So yeahhhhh. ***¼
El Dragon Azteca Jr is hanging out on the roof of the Temple when Rey Mysterio shows up. He’s wearing an AMAZING Batman mask. Azteca Jr. believes Matanza killed their master and wants revenge, but Rey drops some truth on him. He tells Azteca Jr that he got his butt whooped by Matanza at Aztec Warfare and still has a lot to learn. Fight for honor and not revenge. Rey tells him they will be joining in on the trios tournament with their partner Prince Puma. Whoa! I’m not sure Prince Puma should be talking.
- Lucha Underground Championship: Matanza (c) (w/Dario Cueto) vs. Fenix
Not a lot of time left in this show so I’m expecting another slaughter. Yep, Matanza abuses Fenix just as I suspected. At one point, Striker refers to Matanza as “the Eater of Worlds”. Hmm, where have we heard that one before? Fenix takes a crazy release German suplex into the corner. He rings Matanza’s bell with an enziguri kick and slips away from the dreaded powerslam, but tries his usual shtick like the handspring cutter and gets taken over with a gutwrench into a German suplex. Once again, Fenix rings Matanza’s bell with a superkick. He does the double springboard missile dropkick that pushes Matanza back. Fenix tries to punch the mask and realizes it’s not flesh and bone. He elbows Fenix to the floor and follows him down. Fenix catches him with a couple kicks on the apron and goes back in the ring to deliver the tope suicida, but Matanza catches him in mid-air for the powerslam on the floor. SPLAT. Back in, the WRATH OF THE GODS ends Fenix. (4:48) After the bell, Matanza starts bashing and bouncing Fenix’s head off the mat. Of all people, Catrina appears at the top of the stairs ordering Matanza to stop. When he stands up, MIL MUERTES appears in the ring and punches him out to the floor! Cueto gains control of Matanza by showing him the key and takes him backstage. Muertes looks at Fenix and leaves him lying there. OH MAN. *½
Until next time, so long for now.
Posted on April 8, 2016, in Lucha Underground and tagged Catrina, Cisco, Cortez Castro, Dario Cueto, El Dragon Azteca Jr., Famous B, Fenix, Ivelisse, Joey Ryan, Killshot, Kobra Moon, Lucha Underground, Mariposa, Marty the Moth, Mascarita Sagrada, Matanza, Mil Muertes, Prince Puma, Rey Mysterio, Sexy Star, The Mack. Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.