WWE: Smackdown (04.07.16)

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WWE: Smackdown
April 7, 2016
Houston, TX
Toyota Center

The current WWE champions are as follows:
WWE World Heavyweight Champion: Roman Reigns (4/3/2016)
WWE Intercontinental Champion: The Miz (4/4/2016)
WWE United States Champion: Kalisto (1/24/2016)
WWE Tag Team Champions: The New Day (8/23/2015)
WWE Women’s Champion: Charlotte (4/3/2016)

After what was mostly a super lame, oftentimes confusing, OH MY GOSH WAY TOO LONG, and ultimately meaningless WrestleMania 32, I was ready to take another sabbatical from these guys. It was the worst five hours of my weekend.

BUT THEN ON RAW, AJ STYLES IS NOW THE NUMBER ONE CONTENDER. CESARO IS BACK AND HE HAS AN AWESOME TEAR AWAY SUIT. I’m sure there are other things happening that I want to see play out even though I know I shouldn’t.

WWE is like an ex-girlfriend that you still carry a flame for, but she’s just one big tease. She has no intention of giving you what you want. And just when you’re ready to turn her loose and move on, she pulls you back in with just a glance or a look only so she can stab you in the heart again. AHH.

Your hosts are Mauro Ranallo, Byron Saxton, and Jerry Lawler.

The new (three-time) WWE champion Roman Reigns starts the show. He’s not given a very warm reception, but you should expect that by now. He repeats that he’s not a good guy or a bad guy – he’s *the* guy. What he plans to do next is beat AJ Styles. Well, AJ interrupts and gets a ton of love by the Houston crowd. He congratulates Reigns for winning the WWE world title after having a heck of a WrestleMania, but AJ says he had a heck of a Monday Night Raw. He beat three other superstars to become the #1 contender to the WWE world title and he’s coming to get it. He’s been a champion all over the world and says he’ll beat *the* guy if that’s what must happen to be the WWE world champion. Wait, now Roman is cheered? Crowds are so confusing these days. No wonder the booking is so screwed up. Reigns says AJ has never beaten him and he never will. AJ just smiles as the new champ heads back to the dressing room.

  • The Vaudevillians vs. Lucha Dragons

Here is the Smackdown debut of the Vaudevillians. I have a feeling this is going to be another NXT gimmick that won’t get over with the WWE audience. Ranallo and Saxton put over the feud between these two teams in NXT. The Lucha Dragons handle Aiden English just fine until Simon Gotch intercepts a tope by Sin Cara with a knee to the face. They do a heat segment on Sin Cara setting up a hot tag to Kalisto. The match breaks down as Sin Cara gets that tope suicida on English. The Salida Del Sol is broken up as the Vaudevillians deliver the WHIRLING DERVISH double-team to pin Kalisto the US champ! (4:02) Probably as good a team as any to debut the Vaudevillians against, but pinning the US champ? Come on now. *½

They recap the two IC title changes over the last five days.

WRESTLEMANIA PICTURES~!

  • Natalya vs. Summer Rae

The new WWE Women’s champ Charlotte and her daddy join us for commentary. Natalya takes offense to her being champion and looks to face her at the next PPV. Natalya actually gets beaten up for much of the match only to come back with the SHARPSHOOTER for the win. (2:54) I’m really not interested in seeing this random Charlotte/Natalya match and feel like it’s pushing Sasha Banks and Becky Lynch to the curb for no good reason. ¼*

WRESTLEMANIA 32! THEY BROKE ATTENDANCE RECORDS~!

We get a video package from Raw showing how AJ Styles became the #1 contender to the WWE world title.

  • WWE Intercontinental Championship: The Miz (c) (w/Maryse) vs. Zack Ryder

Maryse introduces herself as the great woman behind her great man: the Miz. Ryder tries to get the quick pin on Miz to start. They go to the floor as Ryder nails Miz with a dropkick off the apron. Back inside, that gets two. Commercials! When we return, Miz is in control. He boots down Ryder and clamps on a chinlock. Backbreaker and neckbreaker by Miz gets two. Bossman straddle connects and we’re back in the chinlock. Ryder makes a nice counter by landing on his feet out of a suplex and dropping Miz with a neckbreaker. He’s a house of fire now, but Miz catches him flying and sitout powerbombs him down for 1-2-NO! Ryder rolls to the apron and kicks Miz back for a slingshot splash, but he hits knees. Kneeling DDT gets two. Ryder elbows away the Skull Crushing Finale and hits the Final Cut for 1-2-NO! Miz avoids the Broski Boot, but gets pulled into the ringpost. Ryder kicks Miz through the ropes and gives him the Broski Boot in the corner of the barricade. WOO WOO WOO! ELBRO DROP to Miz! Cover, 1-2-NO! Ryder beats the crap and stomps a mudhole in the Miz down in the corner. Meanwhile, Maryse unties a turnbuckle pad and tosses it in the ring. For some reason Ryder feels he must react to this. While the ref takes care of the turnbuckle pad, Miz thumbs Ryder in the eye and gives him the SKULL CRUSHING FINALE for the win. (8:51 shown) Kudos to both guys. They worked a good little match here. ***¼

MORE WRESTLEMANIA PICTURES~!

  • Apollo Crews vs. Curtis Axel (w/Social Outcasts)

Crews makes short work of Axel here. He even handles dealing with the Social Outcasts with no problem. No surprises there. He hits a nice standing moonsault and finishes off Axel by spinning him around from a back suplex into a sitout powerbomb at 2:17.

Baron Corbin won the ARMBaR at WrestleMania 32! I kept wanting to call him Corbin Bernsen for obvious reasons. Anyways, he’s starting a feud with Dolph Ziggler now.

Back to Smackdown, some guy I do not recognize interviews Baron Corbin. He isn’t messing around here in the WWE. The end of days is not coming, it’s already here.

MORE WRESTLEMANIA PICTURES~!

Renee Young meets with Becky Lynch. She tries to make light of her WrestleMania loss, but then gives an impassioned speech about why she’s here in the WWE. If nothing else, she owes Charlotte for blacking her eye. Emma comes over and thinks Becky’s eye looks pretty good. She’s pissed that Becky has been given all these opportunities when she belongs at the back of the line. Becky threatens to blacken her eye as well. Emma makes an “eye” joke and walks away. HILARIOUS~!

  • Dean Ambrose vs. Tyler Breeze

Yeah, you just wrestled Brock Lesnar at WrestleMania 32 and you lost like wrestling isn’t predetermined. You could really use a match against Tyler Breeze! Thankfully, this isn’t at all competitive. Ambrose wins with DIRTY DEEDS in 1:05. Before Ambrose can leave, Chris Jericho makes his entrance for the main event. Umm, okay.

In the back, we get some more hijinks between Goldust and R-Truth. Expect some more of this on Raw in LA.

  • AJ Styles & Cesaro vs. Kevin Owens & Chris Jericho

Jericho and Styles start us off here with headlocks and dropkicks. Cesaro delivers a double foot stomp and then Styles delivers the jumping knee drop on Jericho for two. Jericho rolls out and pitches a tantrum as we go to break. When we return, Jericho chops his way over to Owens for a tag. When Owens gives Cesaro a weak European uppercut, Cesaro shows him how it’s done. Owens goes low and tags in Jericho so Cesaro can charge them in opposite corner with more European uppercuts. However, Cesaro can’t get the Giant Swing and gets sent to the floor to be thrown into the announce table by Owens. Back in, Jericho hits a slingshot splash for two. Owens and Jericho take turns keeping Cesaro grounded. Cesaro fights up and lands the Very European Uppercut on Jericho. We would have seen the hot tag to AJ, but Jericho yanks him off the apron just in time to prevent the tag. Owens misses the Cannonball Splash and we get the hot tag to AJ. Styles hits Owens with his series of strikes and corner clotheslines him. Ushikoroshi on Jericho! The wheelbarrow facebuster on Owens gets two. Owens shoves away the Styles Clash and avoids the Quebrada DDT. As AJ gets up, he eats a superkick from Owens for 1-2-NO! Pele Kick to Owens! Styles looks for the Phenomenal Forearm, but Jericho shoves him down. Cover by Owens, 1-2-NO! Package Sidewalk Slam from Owens gets two as Cesaro makes the save. Cesaro and Jericho fight to the floor. Meanwhile, an injured Sami Zayn shows up coming down the aisle as refs and agents try and stop him from reaching Owens. With all his attention on Zayn, Styles rolls him up for the win. (9:33 shown) Not as fun of a foursome as the Raw match, but still pretty good for Smackdown. ***¼

Afterwards, Owens and Zayn beat on each other. Being the stronger of the two, Owens throws Zayn into the ring steps. While the refs check on Sami, WWE agents Jamie Noble and Billy Kidman try to restrain Kevin Owens as we close yet another edition of Smackdown.

Until next time, so long for now.

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Posted on April 8, 2016, in WWE and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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