WWE: The Great American Bash 2007
July 22, 2007
San Jose, CA
HP Pavilion Arena

The current WWE champions are as follows:
WWE Champion: John Cena (9/17/2006)
WWE Intercontinental Champion: Umaga (7/2/2007)
World Tag Team Champions: Lance Cade & Trevor Murdoch (6/4/2007)
WWE Women’s Champion: Candice Michelle (6/24/2007)
ECW World Champion: John Morrison (6/24/2007)
World Heavyweight Champion: The Great Khali (7/20/2007)
WWE United States Champion: MVP (5/20/2007)
WWE Tag Team Champions: Deuce & Domino (4/20/2007)
WWE Cruiserweight Champion: Chavo Guerrero (2/18/2007)

Read along if you have the WWE Network!

Your hosts are Jim Ross & Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole & JBL, and Joey Styles & Tazz.

• WWE U.S. Championship: MVP (c) vs. Matt Hardy
  

MVP labels himself as “half-man, half-amazing” which just cracks me up. Matt sends MVP to the floor early by escaping a hammerlock the old Bret Hart way. He follows MVP out with a pescado. Back in, MVP takes over with a bow-tie lock. Matt powers out and goes up, but MVP yanks him off the ropes. The running boot to the head gets two. A guillotine lock kills some time, and MVP hits a fireman’s carry drop. Matt comes back with a desperate clothesline and goes up, but his balance is off from the kick to the head, so MVP is able to catch him and superplex him down. Good psychology there. MVP tries a back superplex, but Matt shifts his weight and lands on top for a nearfall. A flying bulldog gets two more. The AHH Legdrop gets two. Finisher attempts are traded, but Matt hits pay dirt with the Side Effect for 1-2-NO! MVP counters a second one to a rollup for two. The Helluva Kick misses, and Matt schoolboys him for two. Matt slips out of another fireman’s carry and goes for the Twist of Fate, but MVP shoves him into the corner and hits the Helluva Kick. That sets up the PLAYMAKER for the win. (12:54) I can’t handle JBL saying “BALL IN” – not one more time. Good match, but Matt continues to look like the real MVP of Smackdown. ***

We now go to the back with Todd Grisham and Dusty Rhodes. Dusty tells a story about cows and a bull to illustrate his feud with Randy Orton.

• Cruiserweight Open for the WWE Cruiserweight Championship: Chavo Guerrero (c) vs. Jimmy Wang Yang vs. Shannon Moore vs. Jamie Noble vs. Funaki
  

Everyone is in the ring at the same time, and whoever scores the first fall wins. Hornswoggle runs through the ring and hides right before the bell sounds to officially come part of the match. Everyone teams up on Chavo and tosses him out. Yang and Noble do a few nice moves before everyone else gets back in the ring. Funaki hits a crossbody on both Chavo and Moore. Chavo works in the Lance Storm Rolling Half Crab. Not as fluid, but ya know. Noble hits a Northern Lights into a Fujiwara armbar on Funaki, but Moore breaks it up. Yang breaks up a pin after Chavo hits Funaki with the GORY BOMB. Chavo hits Yang with the Three Amigos, but Yang comes back with the MOONSAULT PRESS for two. Noble wipes out Funaki with a tope, and Yang tosses Moore out on both of them. Noble and Chavo team up for the TOWER OF DOOM spot on Yang. That knocks Noble goofy enough for Hornswoggle to sneak in and hit him with the TADPOLE SPLASH for the win and the CW title. (6:59) Oh so now he’s got some lively theme music? Where did *that* come from? The match was just a collection of spots, which you probably could have guessed from the names involved. The finish was goofy, but in fairness, Hornswoggle might be the most over cruiserweight in years. **

• Singapore Cane on a Pole Match: The Sandman vs. Carlito
  

Sandman manages to walk the barricade on his way to the ring and DOESN’T fall. Kudos. Carlito spits apple in Sandman’s face early, but then takes a backdrop to the floor. Sandman does look like he could have used the nutrients from that apple, though. Sandman goes up, but Carlito yanks him down. This goes the same way as all pole matches go. One guy goes up, gets yanked down, hits a move, goes back up. Finally, Sandman avoids the Springboard Back Elbow and grabs the cane. He misses a swing, though, and takes the BACKCRACKER. (5:32) So what was the point of the cane? ¾*

Back over to Todd. Randy Orton lets us in on a little-known fact: today is Shawn Michaels’ birthday. In fact, it’s so little-known that Shawn Michaels doesn’t even know because Orton punted his head.

• WWE Women’s Championship: Candice Michelle (c) vs. Melina
  

Mat wrestling to start. No, really. Candice hits a running neck snap early and then a firewoman’s carry into a cradle. What is happening?! Melina stretches her across the second rope and stomps her on the tummy. Melina chokes her in the ropes and yanks down her arm on the top rope. A bow-tie lock into a drop gets two. Candice roars back with clotheslines and a dropkick. She comes off the top with a flying body press for two. Ross calls it Steamboat-like. Let’s not go *crazy*, Jim. Candice can’t deliver the Unprettier, but settles for the CANDY WRAPPER to get the win. (6:23) See, women can be beautiful and can wrestle, which is all fans are asking for. **

In the back, the Hardy Boys meet up. Matt tells Jeff to stay focused, which is difficult because a sweaty Candice Michelle comes in, cues up the soft-core porn music and proceeds to give herself a shower with Aquafina. Ron Simmons provides the DAMN. WHAT IS HAPPENING?

• WWE Intercontinental Championship: Umaga (c) vs. Jeff Hardy
  

Umaga freakin’ DESTROYS Hardy to begin things and then grabs a nerve hold. Jeff fights out and tries a slam, but Umaga falls on top because that never works on the first try. Umaga delivers a couple banzai drops until he hits knees. Jeff leaps off the middle rope into a crazy Gunn Slinger. Cover, 1-2-NO! Umaga misses a flying headbutt to kickstart a Jeff Hardy comeback. A DDT doesn’t phase him, as he charges at Hardy and flies out to the floor. Hardy follows up with a sliding kick through the ropes and a pescado. Umaga tries to avoid a sunset flip with a butt splash, but Jeff moves and hits a basement dropkick for two. Umaga fires back and pounds Jeff into the corner, but just enough to prevent from being DQ’ed like at Vengeance against Santino. Is Umaga LEARNING? Hardy moves from a Buttalanche and hits the Whisper in the Wind for 1-2-NO! Now Umaga eats the ringpost to set up for the SWANTON BOMB! Cover, 1-2-NO! Umaga shoves off the Twist of Fate and answers back with a superkick to set up the Buttalanche. SAMOAN SPIKE! Umaga covers, 1-2-3. (11:21) Now THAT’S how you deliver a babyface vs. monster match. This takes me back to some Magnum/Kamala goodness from the ’80s. ***½

• ECW World Championship: John Morrison (c) vs. CM Punk
  

This is our first PPV look at the John Morrison character. Feeling out period to start. Punk hits a slingshot suplex and monkey flips Morrison so hard that Johnny falls on his face. Morrison rolls to the floor and trips Punk face first on the steel steps. Back inside, Morrison hits an AJ Styles facebuster for two. Punk blocks a superplex and hits a flying body press, but his body press hurts him just as much as it did Morrison. Punk gets fired up and O’Connor rolls Morrison for two, but Morrison reverses and grabs a handful of ropes. He gets caught by the ref though stopping the three-count. Enziguri to Morrison! Punk hits the corner knee, but Morrison ducks out of the bulldog and runs away. Punk chases him down and tosses him back in the ring. Punk sets up for the Springboard Clothesline, but Morrison kicks him in the knee while he was in mid-air for the three-count. (7:51) Kind of a wacky finish. Punk sold his knee afterwards. There’s just no heat for these ECW world title matches. They treat it like a C-show belt and that’s all it ever was to WWE. **

• Bull Rope Match: Randy Orton vs. Dusty Rhodes
  

Orton stalls quite a while before allowing himself to be strapped to Rhodes. He misses a wild swing and gets elbowed for his troubles. Orton runs to the floor, but Rhodes yanks him back. Dusty misses a cowbell shot that sounded like it would have crushed Orton’s skull. Back in, Orton trips up Rhodes and starts smashing the cowbell over his knee. Orton grabs his dreaded chinlock. Rhodes flips, flops and flies his way back. The Bionic Elbow misses though and Orton is able to wind up and NAIL Rhodes with the cowbell for the win. (5:40) Well, that was a disappointing finish. I was hoping Rhodes could provide some violent brawling, but instead he only provided a bunch of elbows. Afterwards, Orton threatens to kick Dusty in the head, but Cody Rhodes runs in to get in the way. You’ve just made Randy’s list, Cody. *½

• World Heavyweight Championship: The Great Khali (c) (w/Ranjin Singh) vs. Kane vs. Batista
  

Kane and Batista team up on Khali, but get clotheslined down. He brain chops and chokeslams both guys. Finally, they team up on the outside and DOUBLE CHOKESLAM him through the announce table. That leaves Kane against Batista. Bats hits a powerslam for two. Kane comes back with the Flying Clothesline and signals for the Chokeslam. Khali returns to the ring though, so Kane CHOKESLAMS Khali! Batista tosses Kane and hits a Spinebuster on Khali. In comes Kane, he takes a DEMON BOMB! Khali pulls out Batista and whips him into the steps. He then TREE SLAMS Kane in the ring for the win. (10:03) Some of the big spots, like Kane and Batista teaming up for the chokeslam, were pretty cool, but this was otherwise “monkey butt ugly” as JBL pointed out. *½

After they air “The King of Kings” by Motorhead return video for Triple H, King Booker comes out with Queen Sharmell to demand that Triple H cease and desist calling himself “the King of Kings”. He also wants Jerry Lawler to relinquish his crown. Lawler tells him to come get it if he wants it, but Booker declares this an act of treason and walks out.

• WWE Championship: John Cena (c) vs. Bobby Lashley
  

Epic test of strength to start. Lashley overpowers him early and then outwrestles him. Cena drop toeholds him for the STFU, but Lashley ducks out of the ring. Cena blocks a charge, but runs right into a T-Bone Suplex. At some point, the top of Lashley’s head gets cut open. A stalling suplex gets two. Cena comes back with the Throwback. Flying Famouser gets two for Cena. Lashley then picks up Cena and drops to his knees causing his shoulder to snap Cena in half. It was either a mistake or a very good looking gutbuster. Cena comes back with the Protobomb and the Five-Knuckle Shuffle sets up an FU attempt, but Lashley counters to a powerslam. A Torture Rack Drop puts Cena down, and Lashley plays to the crowd, drawing a lot of boos. It sounds like the male contingent doesn’t like either guy. Cena pops up and hits the FU, but he can’t cover in time to get the three. Lashley sets up for the Spear, but Cena avoids and drop toeholds him down into the STFU! Lashley claws his way to the ropes. Cena stops to argue with the ref and gets SPEARED by Lashley! Cover, 1-2-NO! Lashley sets up for a superplex, but Cena counters to the SUPER FU for the win. (14:52) They shake hands afterwards in a show of good sportsmanship. Cena continues to do no wrong in 2007. The match was good give-and-take, and they played off Lashley’s strength advantage nicely. ***¾

This proved to be Bobby Lashley’s final WWE pay-per-view appearance as of this publish date. As long as Triple H is around, this fact will probably stand since Triple H apparently didn’t get along with him. He went out receiving a “kayfabed” injury by Mr. Kennedy because of a real shoulder injury after this match and was released from his contract in February of 2008. He would wrestle on the independent scene all over the world and would even make some appearances in the MMA world at Strikeforce and Bellator before joining Impact Wrestling in 2014 where he’s done pretty well for himself there as one of the top guys in the company.

FINAL THOUGHTS: Three solid matches, but nothing MOTYC worthy. Still, a fairly solid card from top to bottom. I think they need to spread out the world title matches a little better to make it seem like there’s three main events throughout the show instead of a clear hierarchy of what’s the least to the most important world titles. Even though we all know Raw is the A-brand, Smackdown is the B-brand, and ECW is the C-brand, they need to be a little more subtle about it if you aren’t going to unify the belts. Looking ahead with Triple H and Rey Mysterio returning, SummerSlam should at least provide an upswing on the match quality side of things. As for this show though, I’m going with a strong thumbs in the middle for the Great American Bash 2007.