TEN YEARS AFTER: WWE Cyber Sunday 2007

WWE: Cyber Sunday 2007
October 28, 2007
Washington, DC
Verizon Center

The current WWE champions are as follows:
WWE Champion: Randy Orton (10/7/2007)
WWE Intercontinental Champion: Jeff Hardy (9/3/2007)
World Tag Team Champions: Lance Cade & Trevor Murdoch (9/8/2007)
WWE Women’s Champion: Beth Phoenix (10/7/2007)
ECW Champion: CM Punk (9/4/2007)
World Heavyweight Champion: Batista (9/16/2007)
WWE United States Champion: MVP (5/20/2007)
WWE Tag Team Champions: MVP & Matt Hardy (8/31/2007)

Read along if you have the WWE Network!

Your hosts are Jim Ross & Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole & JBL, and Joey Styles & Tazz.

  • Stretcher Match: Rey Mysterio vs. Finlay

Finlay seems to like that stipulation. He mauls Mysterio early and tosses him out on the stretcher. Rey rolls off and kicks it into Finlay to survive. Finlay knocks him around again and tries to push him across the line. Rey slips off again. Into the ring, Finlay clubs him around a bit more, but Rey comes back with a headscissors. Cole and JBL argue over whether a headscissors can, in fact, also be a hurracanrana. Finlay goes for the shillelagh that was placed there in case the fans voted for the shillelagh on a pole. Rey knocks him down and goes for it. Finlay catches him but takes a sunset bomb. Rey grabs the shillelagh to a big pop. See, it doesn’t matter what match you voted for; they were going to work in the shillelagh on a pole anyway. Finlay knocks him down, though, before it can come into play. He tries to ram Rey with the stretcher, but Rey ducks out of the way and rams it into Finlay’s shillelagh of flesh. Rey 619’s Finlay onto the stretcher and hits the somersault plancha. Unfortunately, the stretcher catches on the TV cord. Finlay improvises and swings his shillelagh at Rey. Rey backdrops him on the stretcher and shoves Finlay across the finish line for the win. (9:47) Finlay and Mysterio have surprisingly good chemistry. **½

Matt Hardy has been busted up and can’t compete tonight. MVP can though and it will be against Mark Henry, the Great Khali, or Kane.

There’s a Diva costume contest and we’re supposed to vote for the winner. Maria went first. She’s a pussy cat and gets my vote. Victoria was Yokozuna with Kenny Dykstra playing Mr. Fuji. Cue Faarooq.

  • ECW Championship: CM Punk (c) vs. The Miz

This was strange at the time considering Big Daddy V and John Morrison were the other choices for Punk’s opponent. Either fans wanted an easy opponent for Punk or Miz is more over than they thought. Boring match for the most part though. Punk works in a slingshot suplex. He tries a superplex, but Miz shoves him off and kills the match with a cravat. The crowd gets onto him. Horribly sloppy moment as Punk goes for a crossbody, but Miz is busy selling a shot to the mouth and doesn’t see him coming. Crowd chants for Jericho. Miz comes back with a snap clothesline and a snap suplex. He goes up, but Punk hops up and hip tosses him down. Punk hits a springboard clothesline for two. Miz reverses the Go2Sleep to a rollup, but Punk rolls through for two. Soon enough, Punk gets the GO2SLEEP for the win. (8:52) Sloppy and amateurish at points, but fine in others. The fans seem to be willing to cheer for Punk, but neither he nor the WWE have really given them a reason to at this point. It’s really not until he turns heel that they finally accept him so he can become the #2 babyface, which happens to a lot of big stars. *½

More Divas. Mickie is an American Indian. Torrie is a football player. Who is writing the lines for these chicks? Good grief.

  • Mr. Kennedy vs. Jeff Hardy

These guys were the losers of the main-event voting, so they get to face off. Not that the fans would have voted any other way anyway, but let’s just look at the storylines here. Randy Orton feuds with DX for nearly a year, kicks Shawn in the head, and puts him out for months. Randy was sometimes in the same arena as Jeff and Mr. Kennedy, but was there ever *really* a choice? Now, you see the problem with the Cyber Sunday concept. Unless you’re building three different feuds equally, there’s really only one satisfactory choice. Kennedy grounds the match with a headlock, which is not a good idea after the previous match’s snoozer. Finally, things pick up with Hardy diving off the top with a crossbody. Kennedy waits for Hardy to start back in the ring and kicks him in the head. He drops Jeff on his head with a DDT. Jeff catches him going up and ranas him off. He goes for the Twist of Fate. Kennedy shoves him off, but Jeff goes right into the Whisper in the Wind. That gets two. Jeff goes for his slingshot gun packet in the corner, but Kennedy avoids and covers for the non-title win. (9:06) Not that it didn’t make sense in the context of the match, but why not get your finisher over too? **

More Divas. Michelle McCool is Eve, and she’s loving life. Melina is a showgirl.

Mick Foley stops by for an interview, but JBL interrupts him with a video package asking for us to vote for him.

  • WWE U.S. Championship: MVP (c) vs. Kane

Kane wins handily over Henry and Khali. No surprise there, other than the fact that I thought people might just try to screw with the WWE by voting for Khali. MVP takes Kane down into an abdominal stretch, but Kane fights back and starts kicking him in the ribs. Kane just starts working over the ribs, leaving MVP on the outside. And with that, MVP gets counted out? (6:41) Kane didn’t even really try to win the title here, which is a total ripoff. I understand that they weren’t going to derail their long-term booking here, but this just sucked. ½*

More Divas. Layla is a bad cop. Mmmm. Kelly Kelly is a “gangsta” or something.

Elsewhere, WWE champ Randy Orton stands by with a warning to Shawn Michaels.

  • WWE Championship: Randy Orton (c) vs. Shawn Michaels

Orton starts out clubbering Shawn around but runs into a knee to the gut. Shawn goes to work on Orton’s arm and shoulder. He slaps on a short-arm scissors. Orton finally squirms out and fires off a few punches. Shawn follows him but gets suplexed on the barrier. Back in, Orton dominates and slows things down with the ORTONLOCK! Shawn counters a backdrop to a crossbody for two. They go up and fight over a superplex. Shawn knocks him back into the ring. The Picture-Perfect Elbow misses, but Shawn gets two off a surprise backslide. Orton takes the flying forearm straight on. Ooof! Shawn unloads the usual and sets up for Sweet Chin Music. Orton recovers enough to punch Shawn right in the dick for the DQ. (15:51) Well, that sucks. Orton sets up to kick Shawn in the head again, but Shawn pops up with SWEET CHIN MUSIC. Orton has yet to win a meaningful match as champion. The match was okay, but it was cookie-cutter Shawn stuff. I’m not even sure Orton needed to be there for the match. ***¼

Brooke is a jungle gal. Jillian is Britney bitch, and she drops her kids. Jim Ross on the whole thing: this is the worst Halloween costume contest I’ve ever seen.

  • Street Fight: Triple H vs. Umaga

They brawl all the way up to the entrance ramp where Triple H spears Umaga through the set. They brawl back to the ring, and Helmsley nails him with the trashcan shot for two. Umaga comes back with the Samoan Drop. Umaga continues to maul him like a badger on a canary. It happens! A bearhug kills some time, and Umaga switches it up into a belly-to-belly suplex. There’s the Buttalanche! It only gets two. Hunter goes low and DDTs Umaga on the chair for 1-2-NO! To the floor now, Umaga misses a chairshot and gets speared over the Smackdown table. They fight over to the Raw table where Umaga runs across the tables and splashes Triple H THROUGH the table. Back in, Umaga tries another splash, but misses. Helmsley grabs his trusty sledgehammer, but Umaga intercepts him. The Samoan Spike misses, and Triple H nails him with the sledgehammer. That sets up the PEDIGREE for the win. (17:23) Good enough thanks to Triple H’s ability to sell like a champ. The only problem was that no one in the arena gave Umaga even a snowball’s chance in hell of winning so his nearfalls didn’t have much heat on them. Still, a good match. ***½

For anyone wondering, Mickie James wins the Diva costume contest.

JBL comes out to complain about the democratic process because he lost. Mick Foley comes out for a brawl, but then Steve Austin enters and delivers a STONE COLD STUNNER to Foley. JBL nails him with a clothesline and starts the beatdown, but Austin blocks another Clothesline from Hell with the STONE COLD STUNNER. Now – LET’S GET IT ON!

  • World Heavyweight Championship with Guest Referee Stone Cold Steve Austin: Batista (c) vs. The Undertaker

Batista tries to be aggressive to start, but Taker just isn’t having it. Taker sticks and moves and waits for Batista to make another mistake. When he does, Taker grounds him with chokes and works the ribs. He hits a Flying Clothesline for two. Finally, Batista breaks up Old School. Taker shoves him down, but misses a charge to the corner and crotches himself. UT resumes control on the outside and hits the guillotine legdrop. Back in, Taker tries for Old School again, but Bats spinebusters him in mid-air. Cool! Taker is tough so when he lands, he just holds on and turns it into a Triangle Choke. Batista powers up and blocks a Chokeslam. He misses a swing and takes the Chokeslam anyway for 1-2-NO! Batista hulks up and hits the SPEAR! Cover, 1-2-NO! Batista mounts him in the corner for punches, but Undertaker counters to the LAST RIDE for 1-2-NO! Batista hulks up again and hits the SPINEBUSTER again! Cover, 1-2-NO! Batista can’t believe it. There’s the DEMON BOMB for 1-2-NO! No one can believe it. Batista is beside himself. Undertaker staggers into a SECOND DEMON BOMB! This time, Bats gets the three-count finally picking up a win over the Undertaker. (17:26) Great story, great work. This felt like a war to me. Awesome stuff. ****

Final Thoughts: This started off pretty rough, but really picks up with these final three matches. Those final three matches were so much fun though that I’ll give this show a pass. Overall, this was an improvement over years past. Mild thumbs up for Cyber Sunday 2007. Check it out!

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