WCW: Thunder
November 5, 1998
Roanoke, VA
Roanoke Civic Center

The current WCW champs are as follows:
WCW World Champion: Bill Goldberg (7/6/1998)
WCW U.S. Champion: Diamond Dallas Page (10/26/1998)
WCW World Tag Team Champions: Rick Steiner & Kenny Kaos (10/26/1998)
WCW World Television Champion: Chris Jericho (8/10/1998)
WCW Cruiserweight Champion: Billy Kidman (9/14/1998)

Your hosts are Tony Schiavone, Lee Marshall, and Bobby Heenan.

Tony congratulates Jesse “THE MIND” Ventura for becoming the new governor of Minnesota. Heenan who has no love for Jesse couldn’t care less about this announcement. You can see it on his face. To make a mockery of the whole thing, Tony then mentions that Hollywood Hogan will be announcing his candidacy for the POTUS and who his running mate will be on Monday Nitro. Heenan says he’s moving to Canada. Hey, everybody laughed at Donald Trump when he announced he was running for POTUS. Who’s laughing now?

World War 3 ad. This one wasn’t quite so Illuminati creepy.

• Kanyon (w/Raven) vs. Barry Horowitz

Kanyon continues to ask the crowd the same question, but they always get it wrong. He jumps Horowitz at the bell, but Horowitz fights back with a slam and a hiptoss. There’s a backdrop and an armdrag into an armbar. Raven is shown pouting at ringside. “Raven Sucks”, says Roanoke. Kanyon escapes, but decides to start messing with the crowd and turns around into a comeback from Horowitz. While he’s got Kanyon cornered, Barry pats himself on the back only to be thumbed in the eye. Kanyon pulls him into a one-man flapjack for two. He continues with a legdrop bulldog and can’t get the pinfall. Kanyon tries a Super Samoan Drop, but Horowitz slips away and sunset flip powerbombs him for 1-2-NO! Horowitz starts going all WARRIOR (series of running clotheslines, let’s say) on Kanyon, but Kanyon has enough and pulls him into the FLATLINER for the win. (4:03) Horowitz got way more offense than you might think. Fun little glorified squash. *½

Scott Steiner and Buff Bagwell head out to the ring. Our esteemed commentators collective sphincters clinch up as they recall what went down on Nitro with these two. Steiner calls the Roanoke crowd a bunch of rednecks where unsatisfied females live with their out of shape boyfriends. He wants to give these redneck women the feeling that will make them hit the ceiling. To all you freaks out there, Big Poppa Pump is your hook-up. Holler if you hear him. Well, you have a microphone, so it shouldn’t be too hard. Buff tries to let the ladies know they can wrap their lips around his zipper out behind the building. Classy! Back over to Scott, he reminds everybody what a dickhead he is and has no respect for authority. Fine him all you want, JJ, because Scott is just getting started. Steiner says he’s put out a challenge to WCW, but nobody has the balls to face Big Poppa Pump. All of a sudden he’s got a problem with the nWo Wolfpac, so he’s taking out Lex Luger by himself.

Check out WCW Saturday Night! Konnan, Scott Hall, and Rey Mysterio Jr. will be in action. The main event will be Lex Luger versus the Giant! It’s a rematch from Nitro!

Get your nWo Wolfpac t-shirt for only $20 bucks.

Buy your WCW/nWo Superstar Series video tapes (Sting and “Macho Man” Randy Savage) today! Each one costs $20 bucks.

• Raven vs. Alex Wright

Of course, Raven is shown sulking in the corner. Strange matchup, by the way. Wright tries to babyface Raven here by calling him a “stupid American.” Raven walks over on his knees and low blows him to start the match. Wright immediately escapes to the floor and Raven sits back in the corner. Now Wright runs back to the ring and tears into Raven. They go from corner to corner, but Wright ducks a punch and dropkicks Raven down. He charges Raven up against the ropes, but Raven moves and Wright clotheslines himself on the top rope. Here comes LODI to ringside to cheer on his former cult leader. Hey look, DISCO INFERNO (wearing sinus infection green, says Heenan) punches Lodi when Lodi doesn’t take heed to leaving the ringside area. Next thing you know, KANYON shows up and slugs Disco for putting his hands on Lodi, I assume. Kanyon even goes after Wright, but Wright counters with a suplex on the floor. Raven goes after Wright on the floor for some guardrail violence. Back inside, Wright stops Raven up top only to be shoved down to the mat. Looks like Raven has now had enough and walks out on the match. (3:22) It doesn’t make sense you can lose by countout, but not by DQ. Whatever. *½

WCW/nWo Revenge for N64 ad. If you buy it from WCW, it’s only $70 bucks. Wow. Now you can download it for free.

Tony Schiavone brings out the always interesting WCW TV champ Chris Jericho (and Ralphus as the Beaver) for an interview. Heenan is such a fan. He talks more disingenuous stuff about Goldberg. As the TV champ, he understands the TV title to mean he’s the champion of television and all things that have to do with the television including things like TV remotes for example. Jericho – 4, Goldberg – 0. BREAK THE STREAK, BILL. Makes you wonder why they didn’t book this for World War 3. Who is more over – Goldberg or Bobby Duncum Jr.? I rest my case.

• Booker T vs. Fit Finley

You thought Booker T might be wrestling Scott Hall or somebody major in the nWo, right? HA. This was a PPV match six months ago over the TV title. Now it’s just another segment. Tony forgets that Finley pinned Booker T to win the TV belt on Nitro, not Thunder. No big deal, it just didn’t hit my ear right. Finley abuses Booker to start with his apron offense and whatnot. Booker is step off from hitting the forearm smash for two. The Hook Kick gets two as well. Finley stops Booker with a boot out of the corner and runs him down for two. Booker fires right back with a spinning heel kick. The back suplex sets up the SPINAROONIE to lead into the Harlem Side Kick. Finley bum rushes Booker in the corner and hits a Finley Roll. He whips Booker into the corner, but gets caught with the fancy Jack Brisco rollup for the win. (4:12) He’s back, SUCKA. *½

Tony tries to lead us to believe that Alex Rodriguez has a childhood bond with Konnan. This sets up Konnan’s music video that debuted at Halloween Havoc. Heenan is concerned Konnan’s car needs shocks. The song is called “Psycho (Ashes to Ashes)”, which if I remember correctly is one of the Filthy Animals theme songs.

• Ernest Miller (w/Sonny Oono) vs. Kaz Hayashi

Miller threatens Muhammad Ali to stop calling himself “the greatest” or he’ll rip him to shreds. Kaz Hayashi answers Miller’s challenge, but then we’re met with the surprise return of GLACIER once Hayashi hits the ring to completely overshadow what he’s trying to do. Looks like Miller is ready to whoop some ass though. When the lights come back up, Hayashi is down and out on the mat. Sonny Oono is standing in the ring as well. The snow continues to fall. Before anybody throws a kick, Glacier gets on the mic and essentially says he wants to team up with Miller because individually they will never get anywhere in WCW. Miller doesn’t care because he thinks he doesn’t need anybody anyways because he’s the greatest. End segment. So why did Hayashi even come out at all? I understand he’s got a problem with Sonny Oono, but it didn’t make any sense to me.

• Horace (w/Scott Hall, Scott Norton, Stevie Ray & Vincent) vs. Norman Smiley

Boy, does Horace have the support of the nWo B&W boys or what. Horace is all about wearing his uncle Terry’s weightlifting belt. Poor Smiley is just a guy to squash here. A vertical suplex ends Norman. (1:40) Wow, a vertical suplex is a finish. What decade is this? N/R

“This Week in WCW Motorsports” segment airs. Zzzzzz.

Over on “Dinner and a Movie”, this week they will be watching “Wildcats” (1986) starring Goldie Hawn. They will be making wildcatfish w/homemade BBQ sauce and slaw. Don’t miss it on Friday night starting at 8PM EST. I miss looking forward to watching movies on TV.

• Eddie Guerrero vs. Rey Mysterio Jr.

Eddie says Rey Jr. has turned down offers to join the LWO not once but twice now. If Eddie wins this match, Rey will have to join the LWO. Why not just beat him up for not wanting to join his crew? Why would you want Rey in your LWO if Rey doesn’t want to be there? The nWo never did this to guys like DDP or Sting when they made him offers. It doesn’t make sense. Heenan even points this out. Then you have guys like Chavo Jr. who WANTED to be in the LWO, was denied, and now wants to start his own Pepe World Order, so I don’t know what’s happening anymore. Eddie slaps and shoves Rey down to start. Mysterio hits Eddie with a headscissors. As Guerrero backdrops him over the top rope, Rey does a fancy skin-the-cat move and shoelace headscissors Guerrero clear out of the ring. Awesome. Back inside, Eddie somehow unbelievably suckers Rey into a handshake and pulls him into a clothesline. Well, that was just dumb. Rey makes him pay with a series of turnbuckle smashes on all three pads in a corner. That puts Eddie in position for a Bronco Buster. He pulls up Guerrero for a ten-count punch, but Eddie tries to counter with an inverted atomic drop. When Rey just lands on his feet, his knee buckles and Guerrero dropkicks the bad knee. Oh boy. Guerrero hits a Hilo on the knee and starts to go to work. Commercials! When we come back, we get more of the same. Guerrero delivers a pumphandle backbreaker and throws Rey in the corner for the tree of woe for more abuse. Eddie goes for a baseball slide, but Mysterio sits up and Eddie crotches himself on the ringpost. To the floor, Rey looks for a seated senton and doesn’t quite pull it off due to the knee. Guerrero is still able to catch him. Just like on Nitro, Tony calls it a Thesz Press. Back in, Rey delivers a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker (onto the good knee at least) and follows up with a flying headscissors. Mysterio is still selling the knee and that last move wasn’t enough to keep Eddie down for long as Guerrero comes over and dropkicks the knee as Rey uses the ropes to try to stand up. Guerrero takes off the knee brace and applies what looks like a variation of Lasso from El Paso on Rey. The LWO come out and seem to be cheering on Rey to give it up according to Tenay. I’m not sure what just happened. Anyways, the bell rings and we’ve got another time limit draw. (9:04) Despite yelling and threatening him, Rey still refuses joining the LWO. Eddie holds back the LWO from jumping him while he’s down, too. Not a classic, but a Rey and Eddie match is at least *** territory just for showing up. ***

World War 3 ad highlighting the “exciting” three years of the 60-man battle royal.

• WCW World Television Championship: Chris Jericho (c) vs. Prince Iaukea

They trade headlocks to start. When Iaukea gets on a roll, Jericho cowers to the corner and suckers punches Iaukea to take control. C’MON BABY gets two. We’re just waiting for somebody to hit a big move. Iaukea lands a side kick, but then Jericho runs him down. Lionsault hits knees. Jericho maneuvers him into an attempt at the Liontamer, but Iaukea counters with a rollup for two. Iaukea hits a Samoan drop and delivers a springboard somersault body attack for two. He looks for a victory roll, but Jericho counters to the LIONTAMER for the win. (5:25) They had a nice last couple minutes, but it took a minute to get good. **

It’s cute how Jericho “left” the cruiserweight title behind and yet he’s still wrestling cruiserweights except now he’s wrestling them over the TV title instead when he should be wrestling Goldberg. No forward motion whatsoever.

• Scott Hall (w/The Giant, Horace, Scott Norton & Vincent) vs. Disco Inferno

Seeing how many people are at ringside, Disco would rather live to fight another day. When he goes to leave, he walks back into the Giant. This won’t last long. Crowd wants Goldberg. Hall lets him get a swinging neckbreaker and almost a two-count, but that’s all. OUTSIDER’S EDGE gets the win in 2:27.

MFGWLM HYPE: “Revenge of the Nerds III: The Next Generation” (1992) starring Robert Carradine, Curtis Armstrong, and Ted McGinley.

Tony Schiavone brings out Arn Anderson and the Four Horsemen. No Steve McMichael this week. I guess he’s stuck partying in Miami. Roanoke VA sure loves the Horsemen. Arn congratulates the nWo B&W on their huge victory over the Disco Inferno tonight. With all the weapons in the nWo B&W, why is Eric Bischoff not allowing the Four Horsemen to wrestle the nWo boys? Malenko reflects on when he used to come to the Roanoke Civic Center as a young child to watch his father wrestle and loves being a member of the Horsemen. Chris Benoit sucks up to Roanoke, too. He also challenges Eric Bischoff’s nWo to a match. Now over to Ric Flair. Of course Flair marks out being back in Roanoke. He also thinks people want him to become POTUS now. Can you imagine? Flair says before he takes the big office, he wants to take Bischoff’s office. He will one day take Bischoff’s job and will tell Hollywood Hogan what to do. Why? Because he’s got respect. If he has to waltz around the ring with Aretha BY GOD Franklin, she’ll sing “R-E-S-P-E-C-T” for each member of the Four Horsemen. As if it couldn’t get more ridiculous, Flair starts humping and apparently wants to hump Bischoff’s girlfriend. WOO!

They air the Illuminati World War 3 ad. Yikes.

• Lex Luger vs. Scott Steiner (w/Buff Bagwell)

Steiner beats up ref Nick Patrick for being the guy JJ Dillon sent down to the ring during his match at Halloween Havoc. Before he breaks Patrick’s leg using the top rope, LEX LUGER runs down to beat up Scott. Luger gets his hands on Buff, but Steiner is there for the low blow. Meanwhile, EMTs are out to put Nick Patrick on a gurney. With Luger down, Scott goes over and continues to wail away on Patrick’s knee. Wait, when did Buff get a hockey blade? Anyways, he’s choking Luger with it. There’s no ref. This isn’t a match. Lex eventually comes back, hits the Bionic Forearm, and applies the TORTURE RACK. Okay, now we have ref Mickey Jay in the ring. Bagwell nails him using the hockey blade. Luger goes after Buff, but of course Steiner hits Luger from behind. Now Steiner puts Mickey Jay up in a tree of woe and puts the boots to him. RICK STEINER runs down and chases off Scott and Buff to the dressing room. Rick helps Mickey Jay down and checks on Luger to close the show. N/R

There’s some ROID RAGE~! for ya.

Until next time, so long for now.

WCW/NWO PRESENT: WORLD WAR 3
LIVE on PPV from the Palace of Auburn Hills in Auburn Hills, Michigan on November 22!
MAIN EVENT: 60-Man, 3-Ring Battle Royal – Winner faces the WCW world champion at Starrcade on December 27