WWF: Raw is War (11.30.98)

WWF: Raw is War
November 30, 1998
Baltimore, MD
Baltimore Arena

The current WWF champs are as follows:
WWF Champion: The Rock (11/15/1998)
Intercontinental Champion: Ken Shamrock (10/12/1998)
World Tag Team Champions: The New Age Outlaws (8/30/1998)
European Champion: X-Pac (10/18/1998)
Light Heavyweight Champion: Duane Gill (11/23/1998)
Hardcore Champion: Mankind (11/2/1998)
Women’s Champion: Sable (11/15/1998)

TONIGHT: There’s no doubt the Undertaker and Paul Bearer have EVIL intentions planned for Stone Cold Steve Austin and Kane.

TIME TO GET RAW! Your hosts are Jim Ross and Jerry Lawler.

The Headbangers are joined by the Insane Clown Posse as they all head to the ring. They take us back to last week on RAW when the ICP spray painted the Oddities in their faces. Hey look, STONE COLD STEVE AUSTIN is walking into the building and he’s carrying a shovel! Austin heads straight to the ring armed with the shovel. STUNNER to Violent J! STUNNER to Thrasher! STUNNER to Mosh! What about Shaggy 2 Dope? Now Austin hits the four corners for the crowd. He gets on the stick and lets everybody know he isn’t going to wait 13 days until the PPV. By the end of the night, the Undertaker will be wearing the shovel upside his head – and that’s the bottom line ‘cuz Stone Cold said so. He doesn’t work by the hour, folks! Ross says tonight’s RAW is going to be a “runaway train”.

We catch D’Lo Brown helping Mark Henry get ready for his big date with Chyna.

Elsewhere, Steve Austin is backstage searching for the Undertaker.

Get your issue of TV Guide this week! Your two WWF options are Stone Cold Steve Austin and the Undertaker on the cover. If those are sold out, you can always grab the other two lesser options (according to Ross) with the “recently retiree Hulk Hogan” and the “Stone Cold Steve Austin wannabe Goldberg” on the cover.

  • WWF World Tag Team Champions: The New Age Outlaws (c) vs. Edge & Gangrel (w/Christian)

They replay bits from HeAT last night when the McMahons and company tried to recruit the New Age Outlaws. Ross and Lawler try to compare this situation to the Baltimore Orioles courting Albert Belle and Randy Johnson joining the Arizona Diamondbacks. Gangrel shoots red mist into Gunn’s face and dominates Road Dogg for a bit. Tag to Edge, he hits a tilt-a-whirl headscissors. Meanwhile, Christian crotches Gunn for some reason, allowing Edge to deliver a top rope headscissors to Road Dogg. When he runs over to Gunn, the top-rope headscissors gets countered to a powerbomb. Here comes the Corporation onto the staging area. Road Dogg lands the Shaky Knee Drop on Edge for two. The crowd is all over the McMahons. Gunn tags in and catches a double KO spot with Edge. Gangrel gets a hot tag and runs wild on the Outlaws. Edge and Road Dogg go crashing to the floor. As Gunn goes for a piledriver on Gangrel, Christian runs in and whacks Gunn with one of the tag belts for the blatant DQ. (2:57) Boss Man and Shamrock run down to help out the Outlaws against the Brood boys. The Outlaws leave with the McMahons and their Three Stooges. Hmm. *

We check in with Steve Austin who continues to search for the Undertaker. Like an idiot, Austin walks inside a freezer and gets locked in by the Undertaker and Paul Bearer.

WWF REWIND << brought to you by Glover for N64. Gotta love the Glove. RAW, 11/30/98. Steve Austin dropping Stunners on the Headbangers and ICP.

We join D’Lo Brown and Mark Henry as Mark is getting ready to leave for his date with Chyna. Henry wants D’Lo to join them on the date. Mark calls D’Lo the “second most handsome man in the WWF”. Flattery will get you everywhere with D’Lo. He decides to join Mark on the date since we’re in the Christmas season. I guess he’s feeling generous.

In the arena, the Undertaker heads to the ring alone. While both Steve Austin and Kane stand in the way of Taker’s ministry from growing, he’s got Austin “on ice” until the Rock Bottom: In Your House PPV and challenges Kane to a fight. Well, out comes Kane. We get some brawling until Taker quickly lands a TOMBSTONE. Taker waves out Paul Bearer and a bunch of looney bin guys dressed in white head down carrying straitjackets. Taker joins them to go after Kane, but Kane knocks down a few of the men in white and makes his exit through the crowd.

Over to Mark Henry and D’Lo Brown. Looks like Mark got D’Lo a new jacket and some shades. He’s looking FRESH. Next thing you know, Mark gives D’Lo a limo driver hat. While D’Lo is pissed about the whole thing, he tells Mark to get in the damn car and they drive off. TIME FOR THE DATE.

After the break, Mark meets Chyna in a hotel and brings her a bunch of roses. As you might have figured, Chyna is not interested in this date whatsoever. We need more Mark and D’Lo moments for sure.

Hey, there’s guys from the Baltimore Ravens in attendance!

The WWF European champ X-Pac heads down to the ring. They take us back to last week on RAW when the *new* WWF commissioner Shawn Michaels turned on his DX brethren to show where his allegiances lie with the Corporation. X-Pac says if you want to know what’s going on with the New Age Outlaws, ask them yourself. The real reason he came out here is to challenge Shawn Michaels to a fight. Shawn comes out wearing a suit telling X-Pac he’s the new sheriff in town. If he wants any crap out of X-Pac, he’ll pick it out of his teeth. Shawn has had chunks of guys in his stool bigger than X-Pac. Now X-Pac is just thinking HBK has a very wide asshole. Just ask Pat, I guess. As the WWF commissioner, Shawn has the power to send X-Pac back to the money pit down in Atlanta so fast it’ll make his head spin. Since X-Pac wants a fight and HBK isn’t an active wrestler, Shawn puts X-Pac in a match with Ken Shamrock with the WWF European title on the line. HBK tells X-Pac he was DX before DX was cool and gives X-Pac a crotch chop on his way out. So much for X-Pac, I suppose.

Time to check with the love birds Mark Henry and Chyna. Looks like Mark didn’t break the bank for those roses as Chyna finds the tag that reads “$1.99”. They both walk inside the “Baltimore Jack” restaurant while D’Lo is being D’Lo.

Back in the arena, Steve Austin has escaped the freezer! WHERE IS HE?

  • Goldust vs. Jeff Jarrett (w/Debra)

Lots of bad blood developing between Goldust and Jarrett over the last several weeks. The “recent retiree” OWEN HART joins us for extra special commentary and Blue Blazer allegations. Goldust BUM RUSHES THE SHOW on Jarrett and beats him into the ring. Jarrett comes back with an armbar DDT, but misses a dropkick. Goldust hits the CURTAIN CALL, but Debra puts Jarrett’s foot on the bottom rope. As Goldust goes after Debra, Jarrett nails him from behind. Back in, Jarrett catches Goldust with a swinging neckbreaker. Owen recalls back to winning the King of the Ring in the Baltimore Arena four years ago. Goldust comes back with the uppercut off the mat and hits a bulldog for two. He calls for Shattered Dreams, but Debra wants to make sure that doesn’t happen by tempting Goldust with her womanly ways. Next thing we know, the chivalrous Owen Hart saves Debra by attacking Goldust for the DQ. (3:27) The BLUE BLAZER joins Owen to beat up Goldust, but winds up taking out Owen. Off comes the mask and it’s STEVE BLACKMAN. What is going on?! Some zebra shirts manage to get Blackman off Owen to end the segment. ¾*

They add Steve Austin and the Undertaker on a split-screen. Austin is obviously looking for Taker while Taker and Paul Bearer (along with the guys in white) are looking for Kane.

The PlayStation Slam of the Week (brought to you by MediEvil) comes from last week on RAW when Al Snow nailed Ken Shamrock with Head, ensuring that Mankind would win his triple threat Hardcore title defense.

ENTER THE WARZONE! Your hosts are Jim Ross and Jerry Lawler.

  • Ladder Match for the WWF Hardcore Championship: Mankind (c) (w/the JOB Squad) vs. The Big Boss Man (w/Shawn Michaels)

The *new* WWF commissioner makes sure the JOB Squad return to the locker room. He then joins us from the commentary table and tells us he’s going to grade Mankind’s performance here. I’ve watched now going on 300 episodes of RAW and if I’m not mistaken this is the first ladder match to occur on primetime TV. Am I missing anything there? Anyways, Boss Man beats and chokes Mankind down with his night stick to start. Mankind bounces what appears to be Boss Man’s cheek bone off the steps, which is NASTY. He then throws the ladder in Boss Man’s face and HBK gives that moment a “-2”. Remember the time Foley gave a table a suplex onto Brian Knobbs at one of their street fights back in WCW? Well, Mick does that with the ladder here. HBK gave that spot a “1”. Mankind sets up the ladder in the ring and begins the climb, but Boss Man gets in the ring only to eat a flying clothesline. WHOA, LUCHA MANKIND. Boss Man gets sandwiched in between the ladder for a pair of Cactus Elbows. Shawn scores that for a “6”. Mankind sets up the ladder with Boss Man underneath, but Boss Man recovers only to eat a Double-Arm DDT. Boss Man yanks Mankind off the ladder for a Nestea Plunge bump to the mat. With the ladder leaned up in the corner, Boss Man heaves Mankind face first onto the ladder. Shawn gives Boss Man a “10”. Boss Man and Mankind trade shots at the top of the ladder. Out comes Mr. Socko for the MANDIBLE CLAW. Finally, Boss Man falls to the mat and Mankind gets distracted instead of bringing the title down. Boss Man gets up with a sock in his mouth. Looks like THE ROCK missed his cue. He runs down in his tights and no knee pads and sneakers, turns the ladder over sending Mankind crashing to the ropes, and helps Boss Man. Mankind low blows the Rock and pulls Boss Man off the ladder. He climbs the ladder once more and gets knocked down by the Rock again. Here comes the ROCK BOTTOM. Rock helps Boss Man retrieve the Hardcore title. (6:21) Shawn joins Boss Man and the Rock to stomp Mankind in the face. HBK sells his injured back in sarcastic fashion. Ugh. He even jabs Mankind in the throat with Boss Man’s night stick. THERE’S NOT A DAMN SOUL COMING TO DO ANYTHING ABOUT THIS! Man, can you think of three guys who don’t go together more than the Rock, Shawn Michaels, and the Big Boss Man? **

Turns out the Undertaker and Paul Bearer find Kane just before a commercial break. When we come back, Taker and Kane are brawling backstage while Paul Bearer is freaking out. Taker catches Kane with a chair shot to the skull to knock him out. Bearer pulls out the body bag for Kane, but then Taker sends Bearer away to find the orderlies. Next thing we know, Steve Austin appears from behind a wall, yells at Taker to get up, and breaks the head off the shovel with a wild swing. Taker is KO’ed for sure and Austin stands over him.

  • Marc Mero vs. Duane Gill

Mero promises to quit the WWF if he can’t beat Duane Gill. Fair enough. I mean, your wife already ruined your career, so there’s not much left for you to do around here anyways. The Baltimore crowd cheers his decision making skills. Baltimore’s own Duane Gill is joined by the undefeated Pasadena Chargers pee-wee league football team which he apparently coaches. They run around ringside before the bell and head back to the dressing room. Shouldn’t they be in bed? It’s like 10PM on a school night. Mero dominates and hits the Mr. Wrestling II Knee Lift. He lands the TKO when SCORPIO and BOB HOLLY head down. Time for Marvelosity, but the BLUE MEANIE appears and shoves Mero off the top rope. Gill hops on Mero and gets the three-count. (2:10) Meanie leaps back over the ringside barricade never to be seen again. Goodbye, Mr. Mero. We’ll see him once more at Capital Carnage in a nonsensical mixed tag with Jacqueline (hey, I thought they split up!), but that’s all she wrote for the man until we see him again in a short-lived return in TNA. ¼*

Backstage, Paul Bearer leads the orderlies to what he thinks will be Kane in a body bag.

We check in with Mark Henry on his date with Chyna. They are at a nice restaurant “enjoying” some wine. Henry narrates a poem and Chyna fights back laughing. Henry offers a toast and Chyna slams her drink, then grabs the bottle. Henry says after dinner, it’s dancing. “Gettin’ our groove on! Bust a move!” Chyna shrugs and I guess it’s on. Lawler says “Sexual Chocolate”.

  • WWF European Championship: X-Pac (c) vs. Ken Shamrock (w/Shawn Michaels)

The Corporation looks to steal the Euro title away for their own from the X-Pacian. HBK grabs a third headset for this match. As X-Pac mounts a comeback on Shamrock, we catch the New Age Outlaws backstage talking to the McMahons and their Stooges. Ross tells us that Vince appeared on CNN’s “Moneyline” tonight. That sounds like a good time. Back in the ring, Shamrock is back in control with suplexes. X-Pac finally gets out of a front headlock and nails a spinning heel kick for two. He hits his kick combo in the corner and delivers the Bronco Buster. Since Shamrock is in trouble, Shawn gets the ref Tim White to come out to the floor to discuss who knows what. X-Pac delivers the X-FACTOR, but there’s no referee in sight. Big Boss Man runs out and clotheslines X-Pac out of his boots. As Shamrock applies the ANKLELOCK, TRIPLE H RETURNS to a HUGE pop and attacks Shamrock. That gets X-Pac DQ’ed since all the ref saw was Triple H. (4:41) Interestingly enough, Shawn Michaels gets in the ring and doesn’t do jack as Triple H and X-Pac head out. There are CROTCH CHOPS for the Corporation. HBK, Shamrock, and Boss Man are left behind and they are beside themselves. **¼

We check in with Paul Bearer and his orderlies. They return to the body bag and it appears Kane is now inside the body bag because Bearer unzips the bag to see Kane’s mask, but I think we all know where this is going.

Time to see Mark Henry and Chyna get down. It looks like Mark is winning her over here a little bit. She starts to clap while Mark is getting his groove on. Ehh, and then she sits back down. They are really trying to make it seem like Chyna is a sexy piece of ass. As soon as THE WORLD’S STRONGEST MAN MARK HENRY goes off to powder his nose, three dudes try to put the moves on Chyna. Yikes. Are Baltimore women really *that* awful? Chyna tells them to get lost. One of the three dudes blatantly calls Chyna a “bitch” to her face and gets his clock cleaned. Mark Henry shows back up and starts throwing the other two dudes around like they are featherweights. Chyna saves them from getting murdered as she leads Mark out of the bar.

  • Val Venis (w/the Godfather and three hos) vs. Tiger Ali Singh (w/Babu)

A porn star, a pimp, and three prostitutes have teamed up to battle an Indian high in the caste system. Val calls Babu a monkey and tells Godfather if he gets out of line, he needs to spank the monkey. Yikes. Lawler gets excited about the hos coming near him and Ross has to remind him they are just women. CALM DOWN, KING. How much longer will we have to endure Tiger Ali Singh? He seems like ratings poison if it weren’t for the hos. He gets a nearfall from a DDT. Godfather sends the hos to infect Babu. Meanwhile, Venis lands the Kobashi knees and the Russian legsweep. TERRI and JACQUELINE head down, so now we essentially have five hos at ringside. Venis is totally distracted by Godfather and Jacqueline while Terri gets in the ring and delivers a low blow to Val for the blatant DQ. (2:59) Man, how many DQs do we have tonight? Terri and Jacqueline high five each other and head back to the dressing room. Hey, what are the ACOLYTES doing out here? They beat the shit out of Singh and Babu. In fact, Babu gets a POWERBOMB and a DOMINATOR. The JACKYL appears to let us know he’s the director of this whole thing. ½*

In the back, we see a monitor with Paul Bearer looking satisfied thinking that the orderlies have taken away Kane, but then the camera zooms out to show Steve Austin and Kane watching the monitor.

Shane McMahon comes out and mentions Sable. If it weren’t for Vince, Sable would be absolutely nowhere. Well, we may at least have more Marc Mero matches. Out comes the WWF women’s champ SABLE. Shane gets her to model the WWF Attitude cologne for men and eau de toilette for women. It’s 100% PURE ATTITUDE IN A BOTTLE! That’s a lot of attitude for $20 plus $4 S&H. Shane wants to smell what she’s cooking, but then gets that stuff in his face. Sable walks off while Shane calls it a great breath spray as well. RUDE. He just wanted a sniff. WHAT’S THE BIG DEAL? That’s certainly one way to get your women’s champion who isn’t really a wrestler on TV.

  • WWF Championship: The Rock (c) vs. Al Snow

Sounds like the Rock has some new music which sounds to me like a rip-off of the bass line in B.I.G’s “Hypnotize”. It seems they tweak his theme music on the weekly these days. Is this the BIGGEST singles match in Al Snow’s career? He runs wild on the Rock to start. The Al Snow repeated headbutts connect followed by a vertical suplex for two. Rock fires back with a scintillating DDT. We go to the floor where Rock gets his head bounced off the commentary table. Snow slams Rock on the floor and tries a moonsault off the barricade, but misses by a mile. Back in the ring, Rock hits a series of clotheslines for two. Snow tries to fight back with a running clothesline, but Rock ducks and Snow runs down Earl Hebner. Whoops. This allows Rock to hit the ROCK BOTTOM. It’s time for the Corporate Elbow, but nope. He drags Snow to a corner and grabs Head for the CORPORATE ELBOW. Hilarious. Snow gets Head away from the Rock and whacks him in the face. There’s the cover, but Hebner is still down. AL SNOW IS THE NEW WWF CHAMPION! Nah, not really. Ken Shamrock and the Big Boss Man head down. Snow sees the gruesome twosome, but then turns around into a ROCK BOTTOM for the slow three-count. (5:00) Mankind comes down to help his boy Al Snow, but Shamrock and Boss Man stop him at the pass. Rock bounces Snow off the barricade and attacks Mankind with the night stick. Bob Holly, Scorpio, and Duane Gill head down to join Snow against the Corporation. Rock leaves Boss Man and Shamrock behind as Mankind goes after him. They fight on the stage and brawl to the backstage area. I don’t know what they were hoping for here. *½

Backstage, Paul Bearer looks for the Undertaker but finds Steve Austin instead. He then opens a freezer and finds Kane. They both grab Bearer and take him away. Commercial time!

THE GLASS BREAKS and we catch Steve Austin and Kane hauling Paul Bearer to the ring. Austin calls Bearer “a dumb bastard” because he sent the Undertaker to “the damn crazy house.” Austin recalls, once again, the events of last week’s RAW while Bearer tries to weasel out by saying it wasn’t him, it was the Undertaker. “If you wanna see Kane beat the living hell out of Paul Bearer, gimme a hell yeah!” Just before Kane attacks, Austin decides that ain’t good enough and thinks maybe Kane should go get his gas can. Austin then thinks better of that. Yeah, gas and alcohol doesn’t mix. Austin pulls out a pair of scissors and cuts up Bearer’s shirt and tie. Austin lifts the scissors high and says he’s gonna gut him. Bearer: “Jesus, take me home!” Austin says he’s not gonna kill him, but he’s got an idea. He gets Kane to help him take Bearer to the back. So backstage we go, and we’ll follow. They take Bearer way outside the arena. Kane removes a MANHOLE COVER. Yes, you read that right. Looks like Bearer is going head first in the sewer. WOW, is it terrible of me to be surprised Bearer could *fit* down there? Kane puts the lid back on and that’s going to do it for tonight’s edition of RAW.

I wonder what Mark and Chyna are up to right around this time in the night. Hmm.

Until next time, so long for now.

LIVE on PPV from the General Motors Place in Vancouver, BC, Canada on December 13!
MAIN EVENT: WWF Championship: The Rock (c) vs. Mankind
MAIN EVENT: “Buried Alive” Match: Steve Austin vs. The Undertaker

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