WWE Smackdown
April 9, 2010
Chicago, IL
AllState Arena

We start off the program with a nice video package showcasing what happened last week when Jack Swagger cashed in his ‘Money in the Bank’ briefcase to win the World Heavyweight title from Chris Jericho. With that music at the end where Swagger is holding up the gold, are we supposed to feel bad that he’s the champion now as opposed to the evil Chris Jericho?

Your hosts are Todd Grisham & Matt Striker.

CHECK 1-2! The new WORLD heavyweight champion Jack Swagger is out to kick off the show. Talk about a confidence killer. On the first Smackdown after winning the gold, there’s a guy in the front row with a sign that says “SWAGGER CHAMPION = LOW RATINGS”. He reminds everybody what happened last week like there wasn’t a video package shown that was all about it LITERALLY a minute ago. He says he doesn’t care who wins between Edge and Chris Jericho tonight because he’s better in every conceivable way. Swagger thinks he was born to be a champion. You can boo him all you want, but there is NOBODY that can stop his momentum. Umm, Randy Orton? He tries to get the crowd to yell in unison “I DESERVE TO BE CHAMPION.” Shouldn’t that be yelled in third person? John Morrison interrupts and introduces the clip of Randy Orton dropping Swagger like a sack of potatoes with the RKO! He makes fun of Swagger’s speech impediment and now it’s on. John Morrison says that he CROSSED THE LINE mentioning the speech impediment! Does that mean John Morrison is jumping over to TNA? FIND OUT ON THIS MONDAY NIGHT on TNA IMPACT – only on Spike! Oh man, what a serious champion this Jack Swagger fellow is. I wonder what the Vegas odds are for Edge to regain the world title at Extreme Rules.

• World Heavyweight Champion Jack Swagger vs. John Morrison

Gah, I HATE it when matches start during a commercial break. Morrison delivers a dropkick for two, but Swagger slows this match down with a tilt-a-whirl powerslam. Morrison fights out a gutwrench, but runs into a knee. Oh wait a second, there’s a speck of blood on Swagger! Better stop the match and clean this mess up. Grisham spouts off some line about how WWE’s policy is to make sure that the match is safe to continue. I hope everybody sees how ridiculous that statement is, but for those of you who don’t. WWE may not call what they do wrestling anymore and haven’t for over a decade because its SpOrTz EnTeRtAiNmEnT, but the entire reason that you have these matches are to HARM your opponent to the point that you can pin his/her shoulders to the mat for a three-count or make them submit in some painful looking submission hold. It’s not supposed to be safe! You should be EXPECTED to get hurt. Now let’s take that a step further above mere wrestling moves and holds. Last week on Raw, Sheamus beat Kofi Kingston down with a LEAD PIPE. HOW IS THAT SAFE? Were there repercussions for his actions? Not that we saw. And not only that, but Triple H chases Sheamus away with – you guessed it – a SLEDGEHAMMER. I’m not making 20 year old comparisons here. This is all happening in the span of the same exact week. Could it just be that WWE is passing off the idea that Vince McMahon cares for his employees while every other wrestling company on TV (including UFC) that promotes blood and violence treats their employees as nothing more than gladiators? Besides ten year old boys, who is buying into that statement? You decide. Back to the match, Swagger grounds Morrison and then lifts him up into a Rick Steiner powerslam for two. Morrison fights out of a body scissors and knocks Swagger off the top rope, but Swagger explodes with the POP-UP SUPERPLEX! Suh-nap! Cover, 1-2-NO! Pump Splash by Swagger hits BOOTS! Morrison mounts his comeback and connects with the Flying Chuck for 1-2-NO! Swagger stops his momentum by hanging him out to dry. Morrison escapes the GUTWRENCH POWERBOMB but just falls to the mat off Swagger’s shoulders. Cover by Swagger gets two. They go back and forth off a sunset flip, but Morrison catches Swagger when he’s sitting on his butt with a knee smash. STARSHIP PAIN, but Swagger rolls out to the floor as Morrison lands on his feet. Morrison goes to the apron, but Swagger JUKES by him and trips Morrison to the floor. Back in, the GUTWRENCH POWERBOMB gets the 1-2-3. (9:16 shown) Good back and forth action to the end, but this didn’t feel like a world champion was even in the ring. **½

In the back, Chris Jericho gets onto his NXT rookie Wade Barrett for being voted #2 in the rankings. That’s like grounding your son for getting a B+. Jericho continues to vent to Barrett telling him that he should still be the world champion. Speak of the devil, here comes Jack Swagger to gloat over his big win. Why doesn’t Jericho tell Swagger to go beat up the Rock and Steve Austin in the same night and then Swagger can have something to gloat over. Anyways, Swagger tells Jericho he’ll be pulling for him tonight. The only reason he cashed in his briefcase on him instead of John Cena was because Jericho was hurt and the win was a *sure thing*. Jericho tries to snag the belt off Swagger just like week, but it ain’t coming off. Jericho says that Swagger was walk around with his spiked blonde hair, suit and tie, and stern look – it doesn’t make you Chris Jericho and it doesn’t make you the world champion. But Chris, don’t you realize you just described yourself. Swagger says that the belt makes him the world champion and then walks away. Chris Jericho is SOOOOO aggravated right now.

BROOKLYN BROOKLYN! Here comes Shad Gaspard. He shaved his head and doesn’t look like Karl Malone anymore. They show the Cryme Tyme split that went down last week. Shad tries to make his heel turn relatable by saying that people in everybody’s lives stand in your way of greatness. All he did was big boot that person out of his way and everybody should be a lot more like him. No more Cryme Tyme, it’s MY TYME! It’s Shad Gaspard’s Tyme. JTG storms the ring and Shad slides out only to bait JTG into another embarrassing big boot! See folks? You need to be more like Shad Gaspard – just big boot the people you don’t like out of your life.

• WWE Intercontinental Champion Drew McIntyre vs. Matt Hardy

The funny thing about Drew McIntyre is that every time I see him wrestle, I begin to wonder if I’ve ever seen actually wrestle a match before because I can’t remember one Drew McIntyre match to save my life. Anyways, we’re getting McIntyre-Hardy this week for real! He has a mic in hand, but isn’t even going to waste his breath on Chicago. Well, that’s catch-22 character development if I ever saw it. It gets a heel reaction and you know where he stands, but why does this guy hate people so much? Hardy is looking for revenge after last week when McIntyre drove Matt into the ringpost and then gave him the Future Shock. Striker adds that Matt Hardy caused McIntyre to lose MITB and that’s why there’s some angst here. Grisham reminds us that Matt Hardy got his spot in the MITB ladder match by originally defeating McIntyre. Matt connects with a flying clothesline for two. Neckbreaker gets two. They tumble to the floor as we take a break. We return to see McIntyre grabbing a chinlock and Matt escapes with a jawbreaker. McIntyre hits a back suplex into the top turnbuckle for 1-2-NO! Matt is out on his feet. McIntyre takes care of that with a short-arm clothesline for two. The ref tries to hold McIntyre back while he checks on Matt. Once Matt gets to his feet using the ropes, McIntyre knocks him back down again. Then out of nowhere, Hardy delivers a desperation Side Effect for 1-2-NO! Another Side Effect sets up the AHHH Flying Legdrop for 1-2-NO! They both fail at their finishers and then Matt boots McIntyre to the floor. As they brawl on the outside, the ring apron gets pulled up exposing a metal brace, which McIntyre yanks Matt into and knocks him out. McIntyre hits Matt with the FUTURE SHOCK on the floor and then rolls him back inside for the 1-2-3. (7:03 shown) Drew McIntyre has a great look, but he just doesn’t impress me in the ring. Decent enough TV match although I can’t imagine this will be something I’ll remember a week from now. Just like in the previous match, the loser appears to be the greater talent. **

CM Punk and the Straight Edge Society head to the ring with Punk’s NXT rookie Darren Young who is about to become STRAIGHT EDGE~! Much like every week, Serena preaches the gospel of Straight Edge and then Luke Gallows gives his testimony. Punk says that Serena and Gallows are no longer anchored betwixt the muck and the mire in which YOU PEOPLE live and have ascended to the top of the food chain as they stand side by side with their savior CM Punk in the Straight Edge Society. Loneliness and despair – that’s all CM Punk sees when he looks into the eyes of the audience. When he looks in Darren Young’s eyes, he sees loneliness and despair as well. Punk brings up the fact that Darren Young is dead last in the rankings on NXT and on the verge of being eliminated. ALL IS NOT LOST! Young won his last match on NXT and that was all through the power of Straight Edge. CM Punk assures Darren Young that he can save him. Now it’s time to cut off Darren Young’s troll doll hair. By doing this, you have joined the Straight Edge Society and you accept Straight Edge into your heart. No more smoking, no more drinking, no more late night partying. Darren Young begins to think CM Punk is crazy because this guy apparently LOVES to party. Serena pulls out the hair clippers. CM Punk says that his hair stands for all that is good and pure and righteous. Darren Young’s hair has been defiled by all of civilization. Darren Young raises his arm along with the rest of the Straight Edge Society, but then has second thoughts and slowly puts his arm back down. Darren Young tells CM Punk that he’s changed his mind. CM Punk gets up in his face so Young shoves him down. Big mistake. It’s a 3-on-1 attack until Rey Mysterio runs out and cleans house on Gallows and Serena. Rey catches Punk trying to make a run for the clippers, but Rey stops him at the pass with a dropkick. He grabs the clippers and tries to cut off some Punk’s hair, but Serena pulls Punk out to safety. The hair will be put on the line at Extreme Rules on April 25!

• The Hart Dynasty (w/Natalya) vs. Trent Barreta & Caylen Croft

Never seen these two before, but I hear they were on ECW before they pulled the plug on it. They’re pretty funny greasers, I guess. They call themselves the Dude Busters. Trent brags about beating Call of Duty 4 in one day while Caylen scored twelve three-pointers in a row blindfolded. That IS awesome. As the Hart Dynasty make their entrance, they show a clip from the Hart & Soul DVD that is available now in stores everywhere. It’s the Hart Foundation and the British Bulldogs doing battle in the Boston Garden in 1986. Kidd and Croft start us off as Grisham says this is a rematch from last week’s WWE Superstars. Kidd hits a snap suplex on Croft who rolls to the apron and tries a sunset flip, but Kidd rolls through into a Sharpshooter attempt. Croft kicks Kidd to the floor as Barreta drops him with a clothesline. Back in, Croft gets two. Tag to Barreta, Croft hits a front suplex as Barreta delivers a slingshot elbow drop for 1-2-NO! Kidd fights out of a cravat and tries for a tag, but Barreta pulls Kidd back into a back suplex. Striker calls him Tyson Smith, which is the real name of KENNY OMEGAAAAAAAA! Oops. Barreta charges Kidd in the corner and gets launched face-first onto the top turnbuckle. HOT TAG TO DH SMITH! Croft tries to break up the SPRINGBOARD HART ATTACK, but Kidd wipes him out with a missile dropkick. Barreta elbows out and goes for a tornado DDT, but DH Smith stops that with a spinebuster and locks in the SHARPSHOOTER for the submission. (3:19) Short, fun tag match. Barreta and Croft don’t seem to be all that bad to watch. **

Josh Matthews interviews Dolph Ziggler who put down the Great Khali last week with the sleeper hold. What’s that like, Dolph? He clamps the sleeper on Josh Matthews just for fun and puts him out too.

Raw Recap with the guest host David Otunga.

In the back, the world champ Jack Swagger comes over to Edge and tells him that he’ll be pulling for him in this match. Edge tells Swagger a little story about when he was the first guy to cash in the MITB briefcase. He won the WWE championship and got a little cocky – three weeks later he lost the title right back to the guy he beat. Edge says he’s going to win this match and hit Swagger with the SPEAR. He makes it a little clearer for Swagger to understand by adding some Sylvester the cat to it. SUFFERING SUCCOTASH, THE SPEAR! You see, Swagger’s got a speech impediment. He’s going to be the first guy to LOSE the world title because he has a speech problem. Am I right, Ric Flair and Dusty Rhodes?

• Edge vs. Chris Jericho – Winner Gets A World Title Shot at Extreme Rules

Jericho still has the ribs taped from the spear off the table through the barricade at WrestleMania. Edge doesn’t hump the mat anymore during his entrance because in a PG world, SEX DOESN’T EXIST! That makes him the Rated PG Superstar. It just doesn’t have the same ring to it. As they run the ropes, Jericho gets dumped and we go to commercial. AND WE’RE BACK! Edge trips Jericho into the ropes and hits him good with a crossbody. That takes the Bossman Straddle to the next level. Edge continues to stay on the ribs by bending Jericho’s mid-section around the ringpost. Back in, Jericho yanks Edge out real quick and knocks him off the apron with the springboard dropkick. Back inside again, Jericho catapults Edge into the bottom rope and delivers a back suplex for two. Jericho stands on Edge’s shoulders while his throat’s on the middle rope. Cover with his feet CLEARLY on the ropes gets Jericho nowhere. Edge fights out of a chinlock and gets a sunset flip for two. Jericho stands up and stomps Edge in the face. Jericho baseball slides into Edge to knock him on the floor as we go to another commercial break. When we come back, Jericho keeps the offense going slow. Edge escapes a chinlock and catches Jericho in the gut as he leaps off the middle rope. He hits the Flapjack followed by a Sitout EDGECUTION for 1-2-NO! Jericho kicks Edge back and delivers the running faceslam. Lionsault hits knees, but Jericho lands on his feet and locks in the WALLS OF JERICHO! It was all a plan! Ahh, but Edge makes the ropes. Jericho charges into a big boot for 1-2-NO! Another Walls of Jericho attempt, but Edge counters into a small package for 1-2-NO! CODEBREAKER hits Edge so hard that he bounces out of the ring! After Jericho realizes what has happened, he rolls Edge back in for 1-2-NO! Jericho starts to yell at Edge to STAY DOWN, but he won’t do it. Edge knees Jericho and delivers the EDGECUTION for real. Time for the SPEAR? Jericho leapfrogs and heads to the floor. Edge sees where he is and sends Jericho into the barricade with a baseball slide. They brawl into the crowd for the double countout. (12:28 shown) Once they fight back around to ringside, Jericho sends Edge into the steel steps. Once Edge is laid out in the ring, Jericho finds a chair and charges Edge, which only gets him nailed with the SPEAR. Less was more here as they went with the slow build that escalated into a great finish. I don’t even mind the double-countout because it should lead to a triple threat match because this would make it all the more aggravating for Jericho if Edge wins the title and isn’t even involved in the decision, which I believe he will.***

WWE Extreme Rules happens April 25 in Baltimore MD. Here is the updated card as of this program.

WWE Champion John Cena vs. Batista in a Last Man Standing Match
World Heavyweight Champion Jack Swagger vs. Chris Jericho or Edge
Rey Mysterio vs. CM Punk with Punk’s hair on the line

TOTAL TIME OF WRESTLING TONIGHT: 32:06