TNA: iMPACT!
December 3, 2005
Orlando, FL
Universal Studios

The current TNA champs are as follows:
NWA World Champion: Jeff Jarrett (11/3/2005)
NWA World Tag Team Champions: America’s Most Wanted (10/22/2005)
TNA X-Division Champion: AJ Styles (9/11/2005)

Earlier today while Don West was waiting outside for Raven to come to work, Samoa Joe walks by with his blood soaked towel and AJ written on his taped fist. Don wants to know why he’s here (since he’s not booked), but Joe says nothing and walks away. Hey look, it’s Bobby Heenan! Why is he here? It’s Spike TV! It’s iMPACT! Some baseball players from the world champion Chicago White Sox will be here (next Thursday night?), and he’s a Chicago kind of guy. Why is he even talking to Don West? Bobby walks off to do something else. I can’t understand what he says though. Guess it was just a punchline and doesn’t really matter.

Your hosts are Mike Tenay and Don West.

• Alex Shelley vs. Austin Aries vs. Chris Sabin vs. Petey Williams
  

Shelley has started bringing a video camera to ringside to video tape his own matches. Seems like he could just get a VCR and tape the show, but okay. Sabin and Aries work together to start and toss the other two out to the floor for STEREO TOPE SUICIDAS. The partnership ends there as Aries yanks Sabin off the apron and hits a slingshot corkscrew splash on Petey for two. Pendulum Elbow gets two as well. Aries escapes the headscissors on mat and dropkicks Petey in the face. Shelley tags Petey and runs into a Finlay Roll from Aries. Elbow smash to Shelley’s head connects. Aries tries to sunset flip powerbomb Williams to the floor, but Petey counters with a legdrop. Shelley dropkicks Petey off the apron though. Back inside, Shelley humps Austin’s head into the mat a whole bunch to draw a gay chant. Tag to Petey, he tries the O CANADA nut stomp only for Shelley to tag him and tells Petey to hit the bricks. Slingshot elbow drop on Aries gets two. Shelley mocks Aries by dragging him over to Sabin and waving his hand at Sabin for a tag. Aries manages to push Shelley back and makes the tag to Sabin. MOTOR CITY MACHINEGUNS EXPLODE! In comes Petey as well. Sabin puts them in separate corners. There’s a running boot for Shelley and a hesitation dropkick for Petey. DDT off the shoulders onto Shelley gets two. Petey and Aries tag in to do their thing. Shelley gets knocked off the apron. Williams counters the Brainbuster and hits the CANADIAN DESTROYER on Aries! Before he can stand up, Sabin nails Petey with a dropkick to the back of the head. CRADLE SHOCK to Williams! Cover, 1-2-3. (6:00) Pretty sweet X-Division stuff here. Not spectacular, but it shows off some of their personality. **½

In Planet Jarrett’s locker room, Terry Taylor interviews America’s Most Wanted concerning their tables match with the Team 3D at Turning Point. Storm and Harris are back there watching the Team 3D funeral. Harris says they will beat Team 3D at their own game. Storm predicts that while Team 3D invented the tables match, AMW is going to perfect it. Taylor tries to drink with AMW and they kick him out. Sorry about your damn luck, Mr. Taylor.

• Abyss (w/James Mitchell) vs. Kenny King
  

Kenny King makes his TNA debut here. I didn’t realize he had been around this long in wrestling. I saw him in Ring of Honor in 2008 and thought he was just a rookie. After two weeks of silly losses, Abyss needs a crazy squash as KK sells BIG for him. Avalanche and the Shock Treatment sets up the BLACK HOLE SLAM in 1:37.

Afterwards, Mitchell tells Sabu – the subliterate monkey – to listen to what he has to say. Before he can say it, the lights go out as Sabu appears with the barbed wire chair. We still have another week, but I think just a money making promo from Mitchell might have done some good here. This time though, Abyss kicks away the chair and beats up Sabu around ringside and outside the studio. Mitchell then hands Abyss the barbed wire chair who then whacks it on Sabu’s head. That’s not enough though as Abyss then chokeslams a bloody Sabu onto a stack of unused guardrails. NOW ABYSS HAS THE BARBED WIRE CHAIR!

We get a special video look at Rhino as he discusses his real life problems with a wild lifestyle and losing his family in divorce. He wants to be the NWA world champion once again though.

While Don West shills a DVD set you can buy at Wal-Mart, the NWA world champ Jeff Jarrett interrupts and forces Mike Tenay into the ring with him. He’s PISSED about the sappy, sympathy-drawing Rhino video to make him into the biggest babyface ever. What is this, Mr. Phil? Jarrett blames TNA management for this because they want to knock him off the mountain. He tells Tenay that Rhino’s problems are a result of his own choices and actions. Jarrett says he’s the one with REAL problems because TNA management is out to screw him. He built this company from the ground up and gets no respect or gratitude. And now Gail Kim won’t return his call because TNA management brought Jackie Gayda into TNA. I believe the crowd is chanting “boring”. Tenay wants to know why he got slapped by Jackie. Jarrett tells him not to go there, girlfriend. If Tenay brings up that question again, Jarrett will CRUSH HIS VOICEBOX. Whoa. Jarrett switches gears and says he knows TNA management is throwing the flavor of the month Rhino at him at Turning Point and the next flavor of the month Christian in January as challengers for the NWA world title. As for now though, he tells Rhino that at Turning Point he’s going to send him back to the trailer park with a pack of cigarettes in one hand and a 40 in the other, and there’s nothing he can do about it. Well, Christian Cage interrupts to wake up the crowd and calls Jarrett slap nutz. Christian heard his name mentioned and just had to come out. He doesn’t like being called the flavor of the month. He’s Captain Charisma, you silly bastard. Christian says he’s tired of Jeff Jarrett just like everybody else. What has Jarrett contributed to TNA besides some broken guitars and a bunch of bad haircuts. After he’s done beating up that jacked-up Urkel-lookalike Monty Brown, he’s coming for the winner of Jarrett/Rhino. Before Christian starts to leave, Jarrett tells him to either get his nose out of his business or come down to the ring to get him some. Christian heads down to the ring and they scuffle a bit. He nearly gets the Unprettier on him before Jarrett shoves him off and bails. While Jarrett backs up the ramp, BOBBY ROODE appears and cleans Christian’s clock with the NORTHERN LARIAT. When Jarrett returns to ringside to watch Roode put the boots to Christian, Jackie Gayda comes back out to yell at Jarrett until security takes her away. Other security dudes separate Roode and Christian. America’s Most Wanted head down to support their buddy Jarrett. They are told that it’s not what they think by Jarrett. So much is happening right now, but I DIG IT.

Elsewhere, Terry Taylor is with 4Live Kru and Bullet Bob Armstrong. Bullet Bob puts over these guys like gangbusters. He tells them to remember that united we stand, divided we fall.

• Clockwork Orange House of Fun: Raven vs. Diamonds in the Rough
  

Larry Z gives Raven another chance to sign the release form to get out of this match. Raven will sign the release form if Larry Z will take the Raven Effect, piss himself from fear, and sign the release in Larry’s blood. So, no? Zbyszko brings up the girlfriend and Raven starts to lunge at Larry. Thankfully, he’s got security. Zbyszko knows it’s just a matter of time before he signs the release form. Luckily for Raven, these three SUCK as a team. After about ninety seconds of fighting them off, Raven gets his balls busted on the ringpost. Skipper and Young beat up Raven with crutches. They stand him up with those crutches while Skipper missile dropkicks a trash can into his face. Raven still refuses to sign the release to give Larry Z the satisfaction. A pizza cutter opens up Raven. Hey, here comes Cassidy Riley = the biggest Raven mark ever. He supplies a little bit of a distraction for Diamonds in the Rough wielding a kendo stick. Ultimately, the numbers overtake him. Raven fights back, but then takes a drop toehold on the chair. He still won’t sign the form, so Diamond hurls him through that table. All three Diamonds in the Rough guys jump on Raven for the pinfall for the biggest win of their time together. (5:40) Just a bloody weapons match to continue the angle. Not much else here. Where is it heading though? ¾*

Right before we leave, we go to the back where Samoa Joe is beating the holy crap out of AJ Styles!

NEXT WEEK: The world champion Chicago White Sox will be here! What does that have to do with wrestling? I don’t know!

TNA presents Turning Point on December 11, 2005 from Universal Studios in Orlando, FL. Here is the card as of 12/3:

MAIN EVENT: NWA World Title – Jeff Jarrett (c) vs. Rhino
TNA X-Division Title: AJ Styles (c) vs. Samoa Joe
Tables Match: America’s Most Wanted vs. Team 3D
Barbed Wire Massacre: Sabu vs. Abyss (w/James Mitchell)
Christian Cage vs. Monty Brown