ECW: Hardcore TV
February 28, 1995

The ECW champs were:
World Champ: Shane Douglas (3/26/94)
Television Champ: Dean Malenko (11/4/94)
Tag Team Champs: Chris Benoit and Dean Malenko (2/25/95)

Recap from last week: Paul Lauria runs his mouth and 911 chokeslams him.

Lauria and his manager Jason cut the type of cheesy promo you’d hope wouldn’t come on if someone caught you watching wrestling.

More recapping: Raven and Tommy Dreamer don’t like each other. Sandman and Cactus Jack don’t like each other.

We’re in the ECW Arena this week, where the fans are chanting “Hogan sucks” for the hell of it.

Joey interviews Raven. Tommy Dreamer interrupts Raven’s mopey philosophy. Raven says he won’t fight. Dreamer says shut your mouth. The crowd says “Boring.” Dreamer leaves. Stevie Richards brings out the Broad Street Bullies, Johnny Hotbody and Tony Stetson. Dreamer arrives again and flattens Raven’s goons. Once Raven and Tommy get it on, it’s on. A big old brawl ensues as we cut to commercials.

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Promo time with the Triple Threat, Shane Douglas, Dean Malenko, and Chris Benoit, who hold all the ECW gold. This goes on 6 or 7 minutes, which is 5 or 6 minutes too long.

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Not to ruin anything, but this upcoming match is from Return of the Funker. Since Sandman suffered a concussion at the hands of Cactus Jack, he’s out of action, but he brought along a mystery opponent for Cactus. It’s DC Drake!!! Wait, it’s who? I take back my exclamation points. We’ll finally get a wrestling match after these messages…

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Cactus Jack vs. DC Drake (w/ Sandman and Woman)

They trade forearms. They trade bites. They trade punches. In other words, nothing is really happening, but hey, that “Faith No More guy” is in the first row. I’ve been wondering when he’d start becoming part of the scenery on these shows. Cactus double-arm DDTs Drake for the 1-2-3. (4:05) dud … and immediately Sandman is all over Cactus. Woman too. Cactus fights them off and takes Sandman over toward a big ominous box that’s been sitting at ringside. Cactus yanks him out and he’s got a big sheet over his head. Cactus pulls off the sheet .. and it’s TERRY FUNK! That was pulled off nicely, with Funk wearing all of Sandman’s garb, even though any mark had to know something was up with that big box. Sandman and Funk dismantle Cactus 2-on-1. Some various jobbers want to help, but it’s no use. Tommy Dreamer wants to help, he’s no use. Shane Douglas isn’t sure if he wants to help, Woman even tries talking him into finishing Cactus with the title belt, but he decks Sandman instead. That’s pretty much all, folks.

Man, I was complaining about episodes with two matches? This is second week in a row we get only one, and boy does it suck.