TEN YEARS AFTER: Cyber Sunday 2006

cs_06

WWE: Cyber Sunday
November 5, 2006
Cincinnati, OH
US Bank Arena

The current RAW champs are as follows:
WWE Champion: John Cena (9/17/2006)
WWE Intercontinental Champion: Jeff Hardy (10/2/2006)
World Tag Team Champions: The Spirit Squad (4/3/2006)
WWE Women’s Champion: Vacant (9/18/2006)

So there was this new PPV concept that WWE started in 2004 where they went – why don’t we let the fans choose stipulations to the matches and see how it goes? This was the age of American Idol and felt like a fresh idea. Since technology had finally made it easier than ever to make this work, why not give it a shot. Now whether or not the decisions were a work like everything else in wrestling is up for debate, but I think it’s always fun at least for the markiest of mark fans to think they are picking what they want to see. While the PPV started out as “Taboo Tuesday” in 2004, this is the first “Cyber Sunday” PPV. However, the concept did not produce dollar signs and was scrapped in 2008.

Your hosts are Jim Ross and Jerry Lawler.

WHO WILL BE UMAGA’S OPPONENT?
Kane – 49%

Chris Benoit – 23%
The Sandman – 28%

  • Umaga (w/Armando Alejandro Estrada) vs. Kane

Yeah I mean, it makes sense since they have been feuding for the past couple months. Umaga has still yet to be pinned, by the way. Total slugfest to start. Umaga throws the first bomb on Kane with a Belly to Belly Suplex. Kane sits up, but gets kicked back down for the Diving Headbutt. Umaga cuts off Kane’s comebacks and delivers a Flying Headbutt for two. He beats down Kane in the corner and gives him the Buttalanche. To the floor, Umaga misses the Samoan Spike and runs his forearm into the post. HERE COMES KANE! He bounces Umaga’s face off the steps and slides him back in the ring for the ten-count corner punch. Kane avalanches Umaga TWICE, but Umaga fires back with the Samoan Drop. He calls for the Samoan Spike, but Kane sits up and goozles Umaga. Oh, but Umaga rakes the eyes to prevent a chokeslam. Umaga misses an avalanche for the Sgt. Slaughter corner bump. Kane gives Umaga a back suplex and heads up top. He kicks Estrada away, but flies down into an uppercut. SAMOAN SPIKE! Umaga covers Kane for the win. (8:40) These matches with Umaga are some of my favorite Kane matches. Another fun slobberknocker match here. **½

Queen Sharmell stops the ECW world champ Big Show in the hallway. She tries to work out a deal with him. If King Booker’s world title is voted to be defended tonight, Show will help him retain. If Show’s world title is voted to be defended tonight, Booker will help him retain. Well, Show isn’t interested and the Queen isn’t happy about it.

WHAT WILL BE THE MATCH STIPULATION FOR THE FOUR TAG TEAMS?
Fatal Four Way – 15%
Tag Team Turmoil – 35%
Texas Tornado – 50%

  • Texas Tornado Match: Lance Cade & Trevor Murdoch vs. Cryme Tyme vs. The Highlanders vs. Charlie Haas & Viscera

This is our first look at Cryme Tyme on the Ten Years After series. Does anybody else feel this gimmick is a tad racist in 2016? Maybe it’s because tensions are higher now than they were then, but that entrance just makes me cringe now. Anyways, the Texas Tornado match is something I wish they would use more nowadays. They break down into pairs here to start. Everybody goes to the floor except for Cryme Tyme and Vis. Once they get Big Vis down, Shad flips JTG over his shoulders and slams him onto Vis for two. Cade and Murdoch get rid of Cryme Tyme, but then the Highlanders clean house on Cade and Murdoch. STEREO PESCADOS~! In the ring though, Cryme Tyme continue to trade blows with Haas and Vis. Nice release German suplex from Haas onto JTG. Viscera delivers the Black Hole Slam to Shad and avalanches both Haas and JTG. Whoops. The Highlanders double dropkick Vis out of the ring. Now Cade and Murdoch deliver the High Low to Robbie. Cryme Tyme then hop in the ring and dump out Cade and Murdoch and *steal* the win. (4:29) Wow, a short one. Looks like they may have had to go home early since it looked like Robbie was injured after a big kick from Murdoch. Afterwards, Cryme Tyme go over to JR and the King to make fun of their whiteness and steal Lawler’s laptop. I wouldn’t want that thing in my possession if I were you, Shad. There’s absolutely no telling what his internet history looks like. *½

Backstage, more wacky stuff is happening. Shawn Michaels is voting over and over again for the special referee for their match when Triple H stops by. Since they have done so many bad things to Mr. McMahon and Jonathan Coachman, Eric Bischoff is their only choice. Triple H brings up that Bischoff says DX doesn’t know what the word “controversy” means. Shawn gets so mad at the very IDEA someone has an opinion that differs from his own that he superkicks Stan the stagehand and continues down the hallway dishing out Sweet Chin Music to every man in sight. AWESOME. Triple H has a good laugh over it.

“Scars Remain” by Disciple is the OFFICIAL theme song of Cyber Sunday 2006!

WHO WILL FACE JEFF HARDY FOR THE INTERCONTINENTAL TITLE?
Carlito – 62%

Shelton Benjamin – 25%
Johnny Nitro – 13%

  • WWE Intercontinental Championship: Jeff Hardy (c) vs. Carlito

Carlito and Hardy shake hands to start. They try getting quick pinfalls on each other next. Carlito catches Jeff snoozing with a dropkick to the knee, but Hardy comes back and mule kicks Carlito out to the floor so he can run down the railing. Carlito knew it was coming and catches Hardy with a dropkick. Back inside, Hardy fights out of a chinlock and forces Carlito in the corner for the ten-count corner punch. Once Carlito is down on the mat, Hardy tries his corner dropkick bit and finds nothing but boots from Carlito. Hardy escapes a waistlock down on the mat and attempts the Twist of Fate, but Carlito schoolboys Hardy instead for two. Carlito continues to punish Hardy with the waistlock. When Hardy gets out of it, Carlito lays him out with a flapjack. Hardy escapes a chinlock now and hits a DDT. Sling Blade gets two. Sitout gourdbuster gets the same result, but then a SWANTON BOMB hits knees! Carlito covers him for 1-2-NO! The succession of springboard attacks from Carlito gets two as well. Carlito misses a third springboard, but avoids the Twist of Fate again. He pushes Hardy off into the corner, but gets wiped out with the Whisper in the Wind for another nearfall. Hardy gets stopped up top and Carlito looks for a hurracanrana, but Hardy pushes him away and lands the SWANTON BOMB for the win. (13:23) That match definitely felt like it was called in the ring – like they didn’t know they would be wrestling each other.
Sloppy and boring in the early going, but it picked up nicely down the stretch. **

WHO WILL BE THE SPECIAL REFEREE FOR DX vs. RATED RKO?
Eric Bischoff – 60%

Jonathan Coachman – 20%
Vince McMahon – 20%

  • Special Referee: Eric Bischoff – D-Generation X vs. Rated RKO

Shawn makes Edge look foolish to start by owning him and pulling his tights down off a sunset flip. Triple H tags in and continues dominating until Edge pokes H in the eye and tags in Orton, who is allowed hardly any offense. Edge finally gets a blind tag and comes in for a double-team dropkick on Triple H. Edge-O-Matic gets two. So far, Bischoff has called it fair and square. Triple H makes his comeback as he catches Edge leaping off the middle rope and gives him a DDT. HOT TAG TO SHAWN! He cleans house on Edge and Orton, giving them his usual stuff. He heads up top and connects with the elbow on Edge. He sets up for SWEET CHIN MUSIC, but Orton trips him up and crotches him into the ringpost. Triple H complains to Bischoff, but he says he didn’t see anything. Edge gets a two out of that and then tags in Orton. Orton punishes Shawn with knee drops and tags in Edge for a double-team beatdown that gets two. Shawn backdrops out of a front facelock once he’s inches away from tagging in Triple H, but gets rolled up before he can make the tag for two. Shawn pops back up, but gets booted back down by Edge for another two. Orton tags in to do his overzealous chinlock spot, which gets several near falls. Shawn punches out, but then runs into a stretch backbreaker – complete with the floppy fish sell! Edge tags in and sets up for the SPEAR! Here he comes! Shawn avoids it and Edge SPEARS Bischoff instead! Edge turns around and goes down to an enziguri. HOT TAG TO TRIPLE H! Running high knee to Orton! Facebuster and clothesline combo to Edge! Spinebuster to Orton! He goes for the PEDIGREE on Orton, but Edge comes by and SPEARS Triple H instead. Shawn dumps Edge out to the floor and follows him out with a pescado. Now Orton is poised and ready for the RKO on Triple H and he delivers! Another referee runs in to count, but it only gets two. That should’ve been the finish right there, but this is DX we’re talking about here. Triple H shoves off another RKO into SWEET CHIN MUSIC! Triple H covers, but Bischoff pulls the ref out at two and cleans his clock. Shawn goes out to confront Bischoff and gets NAILED with a steel chair by Edge. Edge gets back in the ring and goes to nail Triple H, but he blocks and goes for a PEDIGREE. Orton takes the chair and nails Triple H in the back with it, then gives him an RKO on the chair for the three-count. (18:12) Solid match, even though the finish was WAY overbooked. It’s as though no man alive can beat DX unless they use a deadly weapon. ***

Backstage, Edge and Randy decide to leave to celebrate while the getting is good. They are ready to PARTY. Don’t you think you might want to at least put some on pants first before you start “partying”, Randy? Lita catches up with them to congratulate them before her match. Todd Grisham stops them both before they hop in their limo to tell them their win over DX was tainted. Edge gets all up in his face and reminds Grisham that they just beat DX and that there will be a new era on Raw tomorrow night that’s rated R-K-O! I would love to see a sarcastic interviewer guy who made fun of the wrestlers after they just spout off a bunch of nonsense like that, but so far that has not happened.

WHAT WILL THE STIPULATION BE FOR THE WOMEN’S TITLE TOURNAMENT FINALS?
No Disqualification – 40%
Diva Lumberjacks – 46%
Submission – 14%

  • Diva Lumberjacks Match for the vacant WWE Women’s Championship: Lita vs. Mickie James

The lumberjills were Candice Michelle, Torrie Wilson, Ashley Massaro, Jillian Hall, Layla, Rebecca DiPietro, Kelly Kelly, Ariel, Michelle McCool, Melina, Victoria, Trinity, and Kristal. If you’ll remember, Trish Stratus retired as the Women’s champion and thus a 10-diva tournament was spurned. They take turns tossing each other out to the floor to make use of the Divas. Lita ends Mickie’s offensive flurry with a neck snap on the top rope from the apron. Lita starts to ground and pound before connecting with a snap suplex for two. Mickie blocks a head to the buckle and delivers a pair of her own. Lita goes to the eyes and hits a tilt-a-whirl slam for two. Lita tries for the submission route and hooks on a sleeper/body scissors hold, which Mickie eventually counters nicely into a cross armbreaker until Lita reaches the bottom rope. Mickie fires back with clotheslines and ranas Lita out to the floor. That causes ALL the Divas to run over and put both women back into the ring. Mickie tries a Tornado DDT out of the corner, but they botch it VERY badly. Lita tries to win with her feet on the ropes, but only gets two. Mickie punches back, but then gets tripped up by Victoria as she comes off the ropes and turns around into a SNAP DDT for the win and her fourth WWE Women’s championship. (8:10) The effort was there, I’ll give them that much – however incompetent most of it looked. *

In the back, Kenny and Johnny get into a little scuffle because Kenny thinks he’s the boss of the Spirit Squad. He backs his argument by saying that he’s the only one in the SS who was able to pin Ric Flair by himself. Kenny hypes up Mikey because he’s been the result of two pinfall losses to Cryme Tyme.

WHO WILL BE RIC FLAIR’S TAG TEAM PARTNER?
Sgt. Slaughter – 19%
Roddy Piper – 46%
Dusty Rhodes – 35%

  • World Tag Team Championship: The Spirit Squad (c) vs. Roddy Piper & Ric Flair (w/Dusty Rhodes & Sgt. Slaughter)

Not only does Piper look really bloated and pale, but he acts and looks like he just took a WHOLE bunch of Ritalin. He’s never looked more like The Maniac from It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia as he does here. Flair starts off with Kenny with some basic headlocks and hiptosses. Mikey tags in and misses an elbow drop as Flair rolls over and tags in Piper. He fights off the WHOLE Spirit Squad and hooks the SLEEPER on Mikey! Kenny finally comes in and breaks it up. Piper gets stuck in the SS corner as they tag in and out dominating Piper for a bit. Mikey climbs up on Kenny’s shoulders from the middle rope and attempts to splash Piper, but he rolls out of the way! HOT TAG TO FLAIR! Piper and Flair dump Kenny and deliver a double suplex to Mikey! FIGURE FOUR to Mikey is broken up by a SPIRIT CRASH from Kenny! Mikey goes for a slam on Flair, but he counters it into a small package for two. Flair chops Mikey down and hooks on the FIGURE-FOUR! Piper comes over and kicks Kenny out to the floor while Mikey submits in the middle of the ring to give Piper and Flair the tag belts! (6:56) Wow, what a pop! The SS attack Flair and Piper immediately after the bell until Dusty and Slaughter hop in for the save. BIONIC ELBOWS EVERYWHERE! Once Piper finally has the belt in hand, it takes a good five seconds before his brain clicks in to realize what has just happened. *

King Booker and Queen Sharmell stop by John Cena’s dressing room before the match. Booker asks Cena if he would join forces and take out Big Show and then go one-on-one tonight. Cena agrees to become part of Booker’s “kingdom” for one night, and in exchange he wants “one night with the queen”. When Sharmell decides to keep it real with John Cena, Booker shoos her out and tells her that he’ll take care of this situation. Booker agrees to whore out his wife for one night, but Cena wasn’t serious. He just wanted to see if Booker was actually stupid enough to do it. Then, Faarooq comes in out of nowhere and makes a cameo appearance to spout off his famous catchphrase.

WHICH TITLE WILL BE ON THE LINE TO CROWN THE “CHAMPION OF CHAMPIONS”?
John Cena’s WWE Championship (12%)
King Booker’s World Heavyweight Championship (67%)
The Big Show’s ECW World Championship (21%)

  • World Heavyweight Championship: King Booker (c) (w/Queen Sharmell) vs. John Cena vs. The Big Show

Show keeps an eye on Booker (who stands waiting on the apron) while he beats the life out of Cena to start. When Cena takes a headbutt and rolls to the floor, Show reaches over the top rope to grab him while Booker nails Show with an Axe Kick. Talk about picking your spots! Show NO-SELLS what Booker is throwing at him and gets run down with clotheslines. He fires back on Booker with slaps and headbutts. Show slams Booker and takes his time giving Booker the Final Cut. Cover, 1-2-NO! Cena makes the save. Show pie-faces away his comeback, but Booker helps out Cena and together they clothesline him to the floor so he can have a break. Booker schoolboys Cena for two. Cena comes back on Booker with the Release Fisherman’s Suplex, but gets pulled out by Show and slugged down. Show threatens Cena with the top half of the stairs, but gets tripped up and falls face down on the steps. Ouch. Back inside, Cena walks right into the BOOK END! Cover, 1-2-NO! Hook Kick gets two. Superkick earns a nearfall as well. Side Slam garners a two-count. Booker cuts off Cena with a sleeperhold, but he escapes and hits the Protobomb. Cena comes off the top for the Snuka Splash, but Booker moves. Cena stops an Axe Kick and tries the FU, but Booker counters to a DDT for two. Cena delivers a Russian legsweep and grabs Booker for the STFU, but Booker finds the ropes. Booker slows down Cena with a backdrop and heads up top, but gets crotched. In comes Show, he puts Cena on his shoulders and Booker hits Show with a Missile Dropkick to knock them both down. They both try to suplex Show, but Show counters and takes them both over. HERE COMES SHOW!

He puts down Booker with a CHOKESLAM. When Cena tries to stop him and charges off the ropes, Show puts him down with a spear! Show takes Cena to the floor where they brawl. They tease a table spot, but Show gets posted instead. Back inside, Cena hits those shoulderblocks and the Protobomb. On his way to hit the Five Knuckle Shuffle, he kicks a chair back in Show’s face. Sharmell gets in the ring threatening to whack Cena with the world title belt. She gets picked up for the FU. While the ref tends to Sharmell, Booker gets trapped in the STFU. OH WAIT, KEVIN FEDERLINE appears and whacks Cena with the Big Gold Belt. All that really does is piss off Cena. He lets off the hold and scares K-Fed away. While that distraction was going on, Booker grabs the world title belt and whacks Cena across the face. He covers Cena and picks up the victory. (21:10) Ahh yes, Kevin Federline – ex-husband to one Britney Spears. A man who I would have completely forgotten about had I not revisited this period of WWE. He appeared on RAW a few times in October to promote his new hip hop album Playing With Fire. As you probably would have suspected, it sucked and barely broke through the Billboard 200 despite being married to the one of the biggest stars of the 2000’s. But anyways, back to wrestling. John Cena gave him an FU on RAW and of course now he wants revenge because out of everything K-Fed has done, *this* is the one thing that has embarrassed him the most. OH THE MATCH. It was plugging along just fine until the silly finish. I probably would have seen the finish coming had I remember Kevin Federline at all. **½

Final Thoughts: Well, I think we can all agree that this “interactive” concept is better in theory than in practice. Wrestling just doesn’t work when you have to make decisions virtually on the fly. In almost every facet of life and wrestling – no matter how far from reality wrestling can be sometimes – it still must have a logical progression to get us from part A to part B. If you have built up a fight between a champion and a challenger, you can’t have the fans vote for a completely different challenger when it doesn’t make any sense. When that happens, you’re not progressing anything and the match just comes off as confusing or completely meaningless. As I said, the concept seems like a good idea in theory but certainly not in practice. Thumbs down for Cyber Sunday 2006.

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