TEN YEARS AFTER: WWE One Night Stand 2007

WWE: One Night Stand 2007
June 3, 2007
Jacksonville, FL
Jacksonville Veterans Memorial Arena

The current WWE champions are as follows:
WWE Champion: John Cena (9/17/2006)
WWE Intercontinental Champion: Santino Marella (4/16/2007)
World Tag Team Champions: The Hardy Boyz (4/2/2007)
WWE Women’s Champion: Melina (4/24/2007)
ECW World Champion: Mr. McMahon (4/29/2007)
World Heavyweight Champion: Edge (5/11/2007)
WWE United States Champion: MVP (5/20/2007)
WWE Tag Team Champions: Deuce & Domino (4/20/2007)
WWE Cruiserweight Champion: Chavo Guerrero (2/18/2007)

Read along if you have the WWE Network!

Your hosts are Jim Ross & Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole & JBL, and Joey Styles & Tazz.

  • Stretcher Match: Randy Orton vs. Rob Van Dam

Last year at this time, Van Dam was the hottest guy in the company challenging John Cena for the WWE title in New York City. A year later, the end of his contract has come and gone and now he’s singing his swan song in WWE in the opening match. But hey, he’s still on PPV! While we are on the subject of ECW, Sabu was recently released for showing up to work without his gear and in no condition to perform, which thins the original ECW herd down. From the looks of things, you only have the Sandman and Tommy Dreamer left. RVD is here to show Randy Orton some respect for the business since Orton totally disrespected Shawn Michaels back at Judgment Day. They did a concussion angle with RVD to send this to the next level. These two have some history since it was Orton who defeated Van Dam for his long IC title run back in 2003. Van Dam kicks Orton in the mouth during the opening face-off and spends the next few minutes methodically tattooing Orton with kicks. Orton gets one shot to the head to re-concuss Van Dam. RVD blocks an RKO with a high kick, but he falls right off the top rope due to being so disoriented from the concussion. Van Dam spends much of the match punch-drunk and defenseless. He fights back with a series of chops to the head, but Orton counters Rolling Thunder by snapping off a powerslam. NICE! RVD fires back, but he misses a somersault plancha as Orton rolls off the stretcher and gets out of Van Dam’s path. That can’t be good. Orton puts RVD on one of the stretchers and pushes him toward the finish line, but RVD rolls off about ten feet away and kicks Orton in the head. Orton just collapses onto the stretcher and Van Dam pushes him the other ten feet across the line to get the upset win. (14:34) After the match, a pissed-off Randy Orton kicks RVD in the head again. He follows it up with a DDT off the crowd barrier to end RVD’s WWE career until his return in 2013. Good thing we have all those extra stretchers sitting around! I’m enjoying watching WWE turn Randy Orton in 2007 into a more confident killer than we have seen in years past with him. Great selling by RVD, but the match just didn’t kick into that second gear. In fact, there weren’t even any other attempts to push the guy over the line until the very end. **½

Vince McMahon mentions having a premonition that something bad might happen to him to his son Shane. Well, that’s an understatement. Love “Starry Night” there in the background.

  • Tables Match: The Sandman, Tommy Dreamer & CM Punk vs. Elijah Burke, Matt Striker & Marcus Cor Von

Dreamer gets distracted by Striker early allowing the New Breed to triple-team him. He avoids a Stinger Splash from Burke and hits a running bulldog. Sandman gets to shine for a moment. Punk tags in and spikes Striker with a bulldog of his own. Nice sell from Striker. He and Dreamer team up for the Demolition finish. Punk and Dreamer do the Dudley Boyz bit about getting tables. To the floor, Burke and Cor Von save Striker from going through a table and then doubleteam Punk. Dreamer and Sandman save Punk, but Sandman gets shoved off the top to the barricade. Cor Von hits an Alpha Bomb, but Sandman makes the save. Gosh, I miss Monty Brown. Dreamer piledrives (!!) Burke and puts him on the table. Punk finishes by superplexing Striker onto Burke to snap the table for the win. (7:18) This is like those Dudley Boyz matches from 2001 where they’d already gotten stale, but they’d done the same match so many times that it just came naturally. **

In the back, Randy Orton warns former partner Edge that he’s next if Randy gets drafted to Smackdown.

  • Ladder Match for the World Tag Team Championship: The Hardy Boyz (c) vs. The World’s Greatest Tag Team

Pier-six brawl to start, and they tease a ladder duel before the Hardys just drop theirs and hit dropkicks. Charlie gets sandwiched in between ladders, and the Hardys start hitting their usual double-teams with Charlie sandwiched inside the ladders. Both Hardys go up, which is bad strategy because only one guy needs to retrieve the titles, so it would be better if the other guy stood guard. TWGTT do a wishbone roll into the ladder that doesn’t quite go like they had planned. TWGTT set up the spot that destroyed Joey Mercury’s face, which you would think would be off limits, but the Hardys get out of it anyways and toss the challengers onto the ladders. The Hardys bring in the taller ladders. Nothing good can come from this, guys. One ladder gets placed across the apron and the barricade as Benjamin takes a backdrop onto it. Back in the ring, Haas gives Jeff a German Suplex from the top rope. Matt stuns Haas with a Side Effect, but Benjamin gets revived and delivers a T-Bone Suplex. TWGTT work in a SICK version of the Leapfrog Guillotine where Haas holds Matt horizontal on a ladder and Shelton splashes him from a ladder in the ring. Well, that’ll ruin your balls. But hey, it looked cool. Haas goes up, but Jeff takes him over with a superplex off the ladder and starts crying. Fantastic. Jeff goes up, but Shelton botches a springboard move. Nevertheless, the ladder is tipped over and Jeff crashes. All four guys go up. The Hardys get knocked off, but they rebound and shove TWGTT. Shelton goes all the way to the floor and hits the ladder that was stretched across the apron and barrier. That could have been really bad. Jeff adds a SWANTON BOMB to Charlie, so he’s done. That allows the Hardys to retrieve the tag titles for the win. (17:18) This was what you’d expect from the Hardys. Benjamin and Haas came up with some decent stuff, but they also botched a lot of stuff. It’s the Hardys in a ladder match though, so it will be at least a good match. ***½

The Great Khali promises to go back to Punjab with the title after tonight. It gets real Rocky IV up in here.

  • Lumberjack Match: Kane vs. Mark Henry

Lumberjacks include: Chris Benoit, Val Venis, IC champ Santino Marella, Balls Mahoney, Stevie Richards, The Miz, Kevin Thorn, Chris Masters, Johnny Nitro, WWE cruiserweight champ Chavo Guerrero, Kenny Dykstra (what is that animal doing around his shoulder?), and last but not least Carlito. Funny psychology to start as both guys get knocked to the floor, but the lumberjacks are too scared of these two to do anything. So yeah, maybe Vickie’s idea was pretty stupid after all, Teddy. Henry goes to the floor forcing Kane to follow, and then he rams Kane’s back into the apron. Back in, Henry works the back for a while and slaps on a bearhug. Kane tosses Henry to the floor out of desperation and then takes out Henry and a pile of lumberjacks with a dive off the top. LUCHA KANE~! Back in, Kane hits the Flying Clothesline and the CHOKESLAM, but Dykstra and Chavo jump Kane for no reason whatsoever. That allows Henry to recover and bearhug Kane until he can’t continue. (9:06) I admire the effort in working the psychology, but the match was boring, and the needless interference was just irritating. Maybe it will lead somewhere though, but I doubt it. *

In the back, TWGTT and the Hardys go at it again.

  • Street Fight for the ECW World Championship: Mr. McMahon (c) (w/Shane McMahon & Umaga) vs. Bobby Lashley

Lashley decides to launch himself onto Umaga to start. He grabs the top rope in mid-air and doesn’t quite get all of it, but it would have looked cool had he landed right. Shane tries some body blows, but Lashley NO-SELLS and tosses him onto Umaga. Shane brings in a chair and DDTs Lashley on it. That leads to a lot of Vince offense, which bores the crowd. The McMahons try to hold Lashley for an Umaga splash, but he pulls Vince in the way. There goes Umaga. There goes Shane. Lashley destroys Vince with the chair and hits the RUNNING POWERSLAM. Umaga pulls him off the cover and Shane puts him through the ECW announce table with the Flying Elbow. Back in, Vince only gets two. Umaga hits the buttalanche to set up Shane for the COAST TO COAST. Lashley moves at the last second as Shane takes out Umaga! Spear to Shane! Another Spear for Vince takes him out and Lashley gets the pin to regain the ECW world title. (12:25) Vince takes another spear after the match. Shane saved the match with his big spots and bumping, but Vince’s offense was your typical chokes and whatnot. **½

In the back, Santino Marella flirts with Maria. Todd Grisham stops and gets Maria’s expert opinion on pudding matches. She really breaks it down for us. Candice comes by wanting a kiss for good luck from Santino, but Maria cockblocks him. Well sort of, but not really. Ron Simmons stops by for a moment.

  • Pudding Match: Melina vs. Candice Michelle

So, yeah. They had a “wrestling match” in a giant kiddie pool filled with chocolate pudding. We get a spear into the pudding as JR and King wonder if a pinfall or submission has to take place in the pudding. A DDT in the pudding knocks Melina silly. As JR notes, a DDT is when the viscosity and temperature of the pudding really come into play. Candice gets behind her and holds her head down into the pudding until Melina taps out. (2:59) Maria tries to get a word and gets drawn into a pudding war. The ref even gets involved, because why not. N/R

  • Cage Match for the World Heavyweight Championship: Edge (c) vs. Batista

Bats doesn’t have his hamstring taped up tonight. Edge tries to scurry out early – because he’s SKEERED. Batista drags him back in and beats the crap out of him. As Batista tries to climb out, Edge trips him up in between the cage and the ropes for a SPEAR. Edge exposes a turnbuckle and hits the Edge-O-Matic. Batista delivers a superplex for two. He comes off the top for a shoulder tackle, but Edge dropkicks him on the way down. Batista gets fired up and catapults Edge into the mesh. Bats picks up Edge and rams his face into the cage. Edge avoids a corner charge causing Batista to run his shoulder into the exposed buckle. SPEAR! Cover, 1-2-NO! Batista grabs Edge for the Spinebuster loads up for the DEMON BOMB, but Edge grabs the mesh and climbs up to the cage rim. Edge goes low on Bats and goes over the top. Batista crawls out the door and gets his hands on the floor, but that doesn’t exactly count. Edge drops to the floor first and retains his title. (15:38) When you go with this formula of “the big powerful babyface that should win every time in a fair fight” you can only do so much because Edge can’t look too good. I liked him a lot better when he was ruthless instead of cowardly. Take a look at the way Randy Orton is being booked during this period and you’ll see what I mean. ***

  • Falls Count Anywhere Match for the WWE Championship: John Cena (c) vs. The Great Khali

Khali picks up where he left off at SNME by slowly destroying Cena. Cena comes back with the Throwback and goes up, but Khali casually chops him off the top and gets two with a boot to the chest. Cena blocks a chop but gets slung into the audience. Cena hits Khali with a random monitor, but he can’t get him up for the FU. He swirls the camera’s jib arm into Khali’s face and picks him up, but Khali fights out of the FU. They fight up to a crane positioned near the entrance. Khali calls for the Tree Slam, but Cena rakes the eyes and hits the FU into a pile of production stuff. That’s enough to get the pin. (10:30) Match was highly watchable thanks to Cena’s willingness to get his butt kicked all over the building to generate some serious sympathy. **½

Final Thoughts: I’d say the WWE got back on track with this one after a disappointing Judgment Day. It’s not on the level of Backlash, and there are no real “gotta see ’em” matches here, but it’s a solid enough card with something for everyone. Of course, everything would change a week later after the draft reshuffled the brands. Call it a Thumbs in the Middle for One Night Stand 2007.


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