Ultima Lucha Dos: The Finale
July 20, 2016
Los Angeles, CA
The Temple

The current Lucha Underground champs are as follows:
Lucha Underground Champion: Matanza (3/23/16)
Lucha Underground Gift of the Gods Champion: Sexy Star (7/13/16)
Lucha Underground Trios Champions: Johnny Mundo, Jack Evans & PJ Black (5/25/16)

They do their best to provide us with a year’s worth of storylines into a near four minutes and 30 second long video package and do a really good job of it.

Somewhere dark and sinister, Vampiro in full garb is preparing Pentagon Jr. to face Matanza for the Lucha Underground title. He believes Pentagon Jr. is not quite ready to face the Monster because he still has fear inside him. In order to become ready, Pentagon must destroy the man he once was when he was first destroyed by Matanza. Vamp directs Pentagon to enter into a cave filled with luchadores he must defeat with strobe lights flashing like crazy. I’m beginning to think Pentagon Jr. is the Mexican Batman. When Pentagon Jr. beats down the final luchadore (dressed in a variation of his own costume), he removes the mask to find that it’s Vampiro. He declares Pentagon is ready for Matanza. Pentagon Jr. blows out a symbolic candle so that – as Vamp puts it – Pentagon DARK can take his place. Oh man it’s about to get serious now.

HIPSTER BAND OF THE WEEK: El Conjunto Nueva Ola.

Your hosts are Matt Striker and Vampiro.

• Lucha Underground Trios Championship: Johnny Mundo, Jack Evans & PJ Black (c) vs. Fenix, Aerostar & Drago
  

Striker calls the challengers LU’s version of the Super Friends. You say that like they have spent years teaming together. I’m assuming he just means they are an all-star team though, but even that isn’t really accurate. He also mentions this is Fenix’s shot at becoming the first triple crown champion here in LU which to me gives away the ending of the match. Is it just me or should the trios champs just call themselves Team Sean Waltman because they all resemble him with those shades and bandanas. Taya is conspicuous by her absence. Mundo rules over Fenix to start – spitting gum in his face and keeping him down on the mat after a backbreaker variation. Fenix rolls out and Drago comes in lucha libre-style. There’s a tilt-a-whirl DDT to Mundo and he’s out on the floor. Now here comes PJ Black to double stomp Drago. Striker complains about there not being a tag and how the referees have been talking about how tired they are of being made to look foolish as if that’s something new. Aerostar hits Black with a corkscrew body block and a lite 619 into a springboard corkscrew splash. In comes Evans and we hear more complaints from Striker about there not being a tag. Evans rolls up Aerostar and gives him a rectal exam. Fenix shines kicking everybody out to the floor so he and his boys can fly, but ref Rick Knox gets in their way. The trios champs jump the challengers and start up some serious face in peril work on Fenix. It’s almost New Day style as they take turns stomping Fenix down in the corner. They mock the ref with “legal tags”, but I still don’t understand why legal tags are necessary in a lucha libre match anyways. Triple Reverse 3D gets two on Fenix.

The tecnicos fire back as Drago takes out Black from the apron to the floor with a headscissors, Fenix stops Evans from a springboard with a superkick, and Aerostar gives Mundo a SUPER MEXICAN DESTROYER. It looks like Aerostar is going to leap off Fenix’s shoulders from the middle rope, but Aerostar somersault dives down onto Evans and Black instead. Fenix gives Mundo a FROG SPLASH for 1-2-NO! Mundo cheats with a rollup and grabs the top rope for two, but then shoots off the ropes and knees Fenix in the face. Los tecnicos work together setting up a springboard splash from Aerostar. Meanwhile, Drago takes out Black with a somersault plancha. Springboard 450 Splash by Fenix wipes out Mundo. Fenix and Aerostar BOTH cover Mundo, but Evans yanks the ref out of the ring. Both Striker and Vamp act like they didn’t see it. While Aerostar and Fenix are slapping the crap out of Mundo’s chest, Fenix gets kicked away and Aerostar gets pulled out to the floor only to be drilled by Black’s trios tag title belt. Drago gets kicked off the top rope and hit with a belt. With no ref and no partners, Fenix is all alone to get a simultaneous TRIPLE BELT SHOT~! Evans puts Rick Knox back in the ring and Mundo covers Fenix for 1-2-NO! More douchey heel work continues on Fenix, but it goes on a little too long, I think. Angelico returns on crutches and interrupts the END OF THE WORLD by hitting Mundo with a crutch. Aerostar and Drago suddenly wake up and take out Evans and Black. Meanwhile, Angelico beats Mundo with the crutch until it’s broken. Fenix runs and kicks Mundo in the back of the head before setting him up for the FENIX DRIVER. Cover, 1-2-3. (11:50) This was good, but I think it could have been packed a little tighter for my tastes. This felt like Fenix and Friends if you know what I mean without having to explain a lot. But hey, big moment for Fenix as he is LU’s first triple crown winner. Not sure what Angelico’s beef is with Mundo, but whatevs. ***¼

• The Black Lotus vs. El Dragon Azteca Jr.
  

Boy, what a lame opportunity for Azteca to show what he can do, huh? Sure, storyline-wise this match makes sense, but I’m not all that interested in seeing this match from a *wrestling* standpoint. Striker and Vamp have no idea of the problems between these two, which makes this a weird match commentary-wise. She won’t take any of his high-flying offense of course so this match is kind of handcuffed. Lotus takes a bump into the wall though. Azteca teases throwing her into a section of chairs and decides to put her back in the ring after all. He comes back on Lotus with a ROLLING ELBOW as Striker makes a Misawa reference. It appears Lotus is KO’ed. Azteca heads up top for something big when Pentagon DARK debuts and trips him up. (4:11) Vamp is shown with a big smile on his face. When Striker starts asking questions, Vamp tells him not to worry about it. Pentagon then SACRIFICES BLACK LOTUS and pulls Azteca down from the top into the PACKAGE PILEDRIVER. Crowd is going nuts for Pentagon Dark. He then SACRIFICES El Dragon Azteca Jr. as well. CERO MIEDO. Vamp introduces Striker to Pentagon Dark. *½

• Lucha Underground Championship: Matanza (c) (w/Dario Cueto) vs. Pentagon Dark
  

Pentagon Dark cuts a promo putting over his teacher Vampiro for making stronger and more powerful than ever in order to face Matanza. Pentagon Dark is not afraid of anything. Pentagon Dark is unforgiving. Pentagon Dark kicks ass. And tonight, he will destroy Matanza Cueto. Because he’s Pentagon Dark. CERO MIEDO. Dario Cueto announces that there must be a winner. Pentagon Dark beats Matanza around ringside to start. He is in total control and needs to be to show his character is more legit than before. He cracks a chair over Matanza a few times and plays air guitar like he’s La Parka now. Matanza takes a ride into the reserved chair section. We’re five minutes in and there’s virtually no offense whatsoever from Matanza. Six minutes passes and we’re finally in the ring. BACKCRACKER gets two. Dario reaches in and puts the key in Matanza’s face trying to get his brother to rally back. Meanwhile, Pentagon Dark wedges a chair in the corner. It backfires on Pentagon Dark and the comeback begins. A pumphandle slam sets up a standing moonsault and then a standing SSP for two. A gutwrench into a German suplex connects, but Matanza can’t keep Pentagon’s shoulders down. We get a slugfest in the middle of the ring. Matanza comes off the ropes and runs into a thrust kick. Irish Car Bomb of sorts from Matanza gets two. Pentagon gets kicked to the floor and arms himself with a chair. Matanza tries to dive through the ropes and gets whacked. Mexican Destroyer to Matanza gets 1-2-NO! Wait a minute, Vamp pulls out a barbed wire bat from under the desk and hands it to Pentagon Dark. As he starts to swing at Matanza, Dario Cueto jumps in the ring and shoves Pentagon down. Pentagon grabs Dario and just as he’s about to SACRIFICE him, Matanza picks up the barbed wire bat and hits Pentagon Dark in the back! Pentagon Dark sells the shot, but Matanza picks him up and delivers WRATH OF THE GODS for the win to retain the LU title. (11:32) You definitely felt a strong feeling of anticipation going into this match with the new and improved Pentagon Dark character, but that finish was certainly nothing new or improved. Crowd chants “bullshit” at the end of the match and I can’t say I blame them. ***

After the bell, Vamp confronts Pentagon Dark who wants nothing to do with him.

When we come back from the break, Vampiro is back at the announce table and he’s shown taking his meds again. Well good for him.

• Ivelisse vs. Taya
  

This should be a FIGHT. I enjoy this feud more than WWE women’s feuds because they don’t feel the need to stock pile it with soap opera elements and tons of backstory. I just want to see these two chicks beat the crap out of each other to see who is the tougher woman. Ivelisse BUM RUSHES THE SHOW here and goes crazy turnbuckle smashing Taya. They go to the floor where Taya takes control and mocks the crowd while she’s stomping Ivelisse. Taya runs Ivelisse’s face into a chair, but then Ivelisse sits her down and kicks the crap out of her. They fight over by the barricade where Ivelisse flies down onto Taya. Now over to the announce table, Taya gives Ivelisse some payback by bashing her face off the table a bunch of times. They brawl up into the bleachers and up the stairs choking each other and whatnot. They both end up taking a bump off the stairs to the floor. Back inside the ring, Taya misses a couple charges and Ivelisse is all kicks. German suplex by Ivelisse is followed by the CODE RED. Cover, 1-2-WHAT. The lights go out and when they come back on, the referee is replaced by the always lovely CATRINA. She’s got a different look to her as well. This may be a sneak peek to what we’ll see from her next season. She punches Ivelisse and gives her a double underhook sitout thing. Apparently she did this same thing when she was Maxine in FCW. The lights go out again and when they come back on, the referee is back in the same position and Catrina is standing in a different spot in the Temple holding up the Aztec stone. Anyways, Taya delivers the Northern Lights followed by the Double Stomp to Ivelisse for the win. (6:49) Enjoyable women’s match. Like I said earlier, I like when they just come out here to fight without any major soap opera-esque beefs. **½

As Taya celebrates, the lights go out again and Taya is replaced in the ring by Catrina. “Death comes to everyone. Even [Ivelisse], bitch.” She picks Ivelisse up off the mat and gives her the LICK OF DEATH. That’s pretty epic.

They air the Mysterio versus Puma build video package. Konnan does the voiceovers. Neither man seems very broken up about his demise though.

• Rey Mysterio vs. Prince Puma
  

It’s the PRINCE versus the KING. We get the obligatory “I know you and you know me” segment that leads to a stalemate to start this match. After they let that settle, Mysterio unleashes some kicks and punches to let Puma know he’s here to fight. Puma counters a tilt-a-whirl headscissors move and delivers a lungblower from the tombstone position. Puma seems more concerned with impressing his “Boyle Heights” people than concerned with beating Mysterio. From there, he whips Rey hard from corner to corner and locks in a standing surfboard. Rey lands on the second rope as he’s catapulted into the corner. Puma nails him from behind and puts Rey on his shoulders for the electric chair drop, but Mysterio punches him on the head and they tumble over the top rope down to the floor. Puma is still standing with Rey on his shoulders. Mysterio then headscissors Puma into the apron. With Puma down on the floor, Rey does the slip and slide dive. Back in, Mysterio hits La Silla and the springboard body block gets two. Rey continues to dominate with a quebrada into a swinging DDT. Cover, 1-2-NO! Puma catches Rey trying a charge and kicks him back to the other side of the ring. He tries throwing Mysterio through the ropes, but Rey manages a 619 to knock Puma back. Here comes a flying headscissors, but Puma catches him in mid-air and flips Rey around for the Northern Lights suplex and brainbuster chain. Awesome. That gets two. Puma apparently is looking for the 630 SENTON, but Rey stops him up top. Nevertheless, Puma tries the Splash Mountain. Mysterio kicks him in the shoulder blades and manages to escape. As they wage war up top, Mysterio eventually brings Puma down with a REVERSE RANA. Wow, nasty bump from Puma. Cover by Rey, 1-2-NO! Puma wins a slugfest and stops the wheelbarrow bulldog with a backcracker. AWESOME. Blue Thunder Bomb gets 1-2-NO! The Benadryller and the 619 both miss. Puma manages to roundhouse kick Rey anyways and puts him in position for the 323? Springboard 450 Splash to Rey! Cover, 1-2-NO! Puma can’t believe it. He hits the BENADRYLLER and got all of it. Real cocky cover only gets a nearfall. He hits a hesitation dropkick on Rey in the corner and sets up for the 630 SENTON. Puma does the “I’m sorry, I love you” bit from Shawn Michaels – at least it’s implied. When he finally goes for the move, Rey moves out of the way. Hurracanrana on Puma gets 1-2-NO! He enziguri kicks Puma on the ropes for the 619, but Puma catches the kick. Puma stands up with Rey’s legs over his head. He transitions Mysterio over to the tombstone, but Rey counters with a headscissors! 619! WEST COAST POP! And with that, Rey Mysterio picks up the win. (16:39) I don’t know how many more great matches Mysterio has in him, but you can add this one to his long list from his storied career. This was excellent storytelling and the execution of the moves was almost perfect from bell to bell. For my money, this is the best match from season two of Lucha Underground. ****½

Naturally, Rey Mysterio and Prince Puma embrace after the bell. When it looks like it’s time to say goodbye to another season of Lucha Underground, PENTAGON DARK appears through the crowd and WHACKS VAMPIRO WITH THE BARBED WIRE BAT. Matt Striker turns to look at him and eats a superkick! Pentagon then bashes Vamp’s head against the table and grinds the barbed wire into his forehead to bust him open. The announce table gets turned over and Pentagon beats Vamp with a piece of the table. While it’s still a ball bat, there’s nothing sharp about that barbed wire as a close-up shot will show. Anyways, realism is the least of our problems right now as Pentagon Dark licks the blood from Vamp’s head. It’s pretty gross. So much for CERO HEPATITIS. Pentagon announces to Vamp and the world that Vampiro is no longer his master. Now Pentagon Dark is the new master. The blood from Vamp’s head sustains him. CERO MIEDO.

Before we go, we see Dario Cueto is handcuffed by the LAPD and has been arrested. They put him in a van to be taken to jail, but then we some of the finest cinematography ever in the history of wrestling. Although let’s be real here: Lucha Underground is more television than it is wrestling. Dario’s facial expressions go from deep concern with his head hanging low to looking up and smiling at the camera with the red and blue police lights circling his face as we get the “to be continued…” treatment to close out the program and the season.

Until next time, so long for now!

My top five LU matches from season two:

1) Rey Mysterio vs. Prince Puma (7/20)
2) Mil Muertes (c) vs. Fenix (3/16)
3) Aztec Warfare II for the LU title (3/23)
4) Mil Muertes (c) vs. Prince Puma vs. Pentagon Jr. (3/9)
5) Johnny Mundo vs. Fenix vs. Pentagon Jr. vs. Taya vs. Ivelisse vs. King Cuerno (6/15)